As straight men why do you think homophobia exists?

[needsmust]

I'm using homophobia as a term of convenience...it doesn't need to specifically mean fear of homosexuals, it can mean just general dislike or mistreatment of gay people, etc.

Obviously religion is a huge reason, but beyond that why do you think it exists?

 

[hzs3fg]

I really think lingering prejudice against homosexuals grew out of the AIDS epidemic in the 80s. I won't say that people accepted homosexuality in the 70s, but it seems like everyone knew someone who was gay, they didn't talk about it, but it was acknowledged. Even Archie Bunker had a gay friend, to his surprise. People loved bands like Queen. I think we were on our way to a place of comfort like the Will & Grace era until AIDS took hold.

Homophobia existed long before the AIDS crisis...

 

[vas]

Human nature, it doesn't go away:

-Vaxed, unvaxed
-masked, unmasked
-rural, metropolitan
-black, white
- MAGA, progressive
-Jew, palastinian
-Suni, Shia
-catholic, protestant
-gay, straight
-white collar, blue collar
-christian, muslim
-In Japan: Non japanese, japanese
-In Korea: Non korean, korean
-In india: different castes
-In China: not Han, Han
-Jew, Goy
-High school girls ostracizing others girls (wrong cloths, hair, upbringing, looks, etc)

take your pick.

Tribalism isn't a tendency that is unique to gay/straight relations. Like most evolved human traits, the proclivity for in-group preference roughly follows a bell curve with different populations having different mean levels. But the acting out of it is highly environmental. War, economic hardship, uncertainty, and turmoil shift people towards being more tribal.

 

[needsmust]

How gay men are treated today is 1000% better than ever before.
Why not celebrate that, and enjoy the continuation of that, rather than focusing on what little negative treatment that exist.
We have came a long-long way. Ask any gay man over 50. Who grew up and went to high school and knew if their feelings were exposed, they would - literally - be in very real physical danger. I remember how some feminine boys were treated in the early 80s when I was in high school. They were downright tortured - DAILY.
We have improved tremendously since then. Be thankful for that and look forward to that continuation.

I definitely recognize the improvements of today vs. years past...I didn't ask in the sense that I experience homophobia daily. I was really just curious how straight guys view it. I have my opinions but wanted to hear other ones. The openness of gay people today has made a huge impact on society. Everyone probably has a gay relative that they actually like and have a hard time condemning. Lots of friends groups , especially younger have gay and straight members. All that is definitely something I'm grateful for.

I want to point out tho, just in reply to your post particular, that homophobia does still exist in a way that has negative impacts on gay people of all ages. That's sort of why it's just such a question in my mind what guys think about it. Why the fuck does it still exist? And it does definitely still exist.

I'm 49 and live in an exceedingly liberal environment. I work in higher education at a very, very liberal college and my career has definitely been hindered due to homophobic straight male bosses. Two in particular who would NEVER consider themselves homophobic. In their particular cases, and I'm sure it's different for different people, I believe they were uncomfortable with me because of their own experiences being called or perceived as gay. It was insecurity, not in their own identities, but in other people's assumptions about their identities. They didn't worry about being gay, they just had internalized the fear others would think they were gay.

In terms of my own opinion, I think that what I described is one reason homophobia exists. I also think that another reason is just the "ick" factor. It just seems gross to some straight guys for 2 guys to kiss or fuck. I can totally understand it tho...no judgement there.

Another reason is because many people have created identities for themselves that are really rooted in the liberal vs. conservative ideologies. Maybe some people just feel that to be "a real conservative" means believing in tradition values and gay people are not part of that tradition and are in fact contrary to it. That is reinforced by political parties who use homophobia (and a lot of "phobias" for that matter) to build and reinforce coalitions so they can get votes. "Othering" gay people was a very successful political strategy for a very long time. It doesn't work quite as well today so they've pivoted to trashing on trans people, but that's an entire conversation of it's own.

 

[huguest]

In a world of polarisation where everyone hold on to their belief. Where a difference mean a menace too their established security.

One can view homosexuality as dislike of conformity. Something that doesn't fit in their perspective.

Frankly, I see heterophobia on this site sometime. It's not a one way thing. It's the fear of validation of our peers.

Phobia is a survival instinct, to protect our mental concepts.

Like everything else, acceptance is the remedy. Take care of yourself my friend, It's good that you ask yourself those questions, but focusing on them only give them fuel.

 

[iamjustme65]

How gay men are treated today is 1000% better than ever before.
Why not celebrate that, and enjoy the continuation of that, rather than focusing on what little negative treatment that exist.
We have came a long-long way. Ask any gay man over 50. Who grew up and went to high school and knew if their feelings were exposed, they would - literally - be in very real physical danger. I remember how some feminine boys were treated in the early 80s when I was in high school. They were downright tortured - DAILY.
We have improved tremendously since then. Be thankful for that and look forward to that continuation.

 

[boredandfit]

I do think in part it is a combination of religion and maybe as notthatguy says, being sexually insecure. I mean, who the hell cares who loves who as long as it's between consenting adults. When I get hit on by a hot guy, I don't feel threaten, if anything, I feel complimented that an attractive person finds me attractive.

 

[scotch_guy]

I'm going with upbringing and ignorance.
Growing up it was "normal" to look down on or make fun of someone suspected of being gay. They were different, weak, weird, etc.

As I grew up I realized it didn't matter, especially since you had no way of "knowing" who was and who wasn't gay. Since you didn't know, anyone of your friends or family members could be gay, yet they weren't different, weak, or weird.

I have gay relatives and I still love them, nothing has changed.

The ignorance is a big issue for me.
My best friend who is religous, and on his 3rd marriage, believes homosexuality is wrong, against God, and also believes it is a choice and a learned behaviour. He once said to me "I don't understand how they say they were born that way. Who thinks about that as a baby?"

I said, dude, that's the whole point, there is no thought involved, you either are or you aren't.

I've asked several people who are against homosexuality this question: when did you decide to be straight?
They all respond the same way. "I can tell you exactly when I knew I liked the opposite sex".
I immediately cut them off to say "that isn't what I asked you, so let me rephrase". "When did you make a conscious decision to be attracted to the opposite sex?"
I never get an answer to that one.

This same friend said to ne that being gay is a choice because his cousin was molested by a man when she was young, so now she hates men and is now gay.

So I said, well using your logic, a boy who is molested by a man should also hate men and therefore should be straight, right?
No response.
I think some people prefer to remain ignorant because it's more comfortable and easier than thinking logically and analyzing their thought processes and beliefs.

 

[EGR1972]

Frankly, I see heterophobia on this site sometime. It's not a one way thing. It's the fear of validation of our peers.

This!
What i see a lot here is a view of "there is no heterosexuality, only bi. Straight people are bisexuals who have not come out of the closet yet".

 

[Sagittarius84]

Aversion to unwanted gaze, or a heightened probability of sexual predation.
Desire to maintain sexual desirability amongst straight women by establishing a figurative and literal distance from homoerotic proximity.
That's some base level stuff.
Theoretically, I think straight men perceive a weaponization and fetishization of gay men by straight women, that they seem happily complicit with, to their own ruin.
Maybe that's why homphobia almost always skews towards the gays and not necessarily lesbians; with none of the aforementioned constructs present there seems to be more of a mutually beneficial camaraderie present between straight men and lesbians....and I think a lot of straight men, whether they are conscious of it or not low key resent that the camaraderie between gay men and straight men isn't better than that.

 

[Triplexintx]

I really think lingering prejudice against homosexuals grew out of the AIDS epidemic in the 80s. I won't say that people accepted homosexuality in the 70s, but it seems like everyone knew someone who was gay, they didn't talk about it, but it was acknowledged. Even Archie Bunker had a gay friend, to his surprise. People loved bands like Queen. I think we were on our way to a place of comfort like the Will & Grace era until AIDS took hold.

 

[hzs3fg]

I think all men have internalized homosexual desires. Those that can't come to terms with their feelings express it as varying levels of homophobia.

 

[techpump]

I may get blasted for this, but I think homophobic men are likely battling their own homosexual tendencies, desires, wants, cravings, and confusion, and they are mad about it and lash out at openly homosexual men. Maybe they say "look at you, open and out there and happy, while I'm upset I'm gay and have to be closeted and just live with my wife and I hate sex with her because she's a woman and I want a man." I think homophobes express rage and angst towards openly gay men or just homosexuality in general because they have shame and guilt over the fact they might find men attractive, or can't believe they got turned on looking at penis in the gym. Possibly something pent up and repressed that happened to them as kids/adolescents/teens/college aged. That's just me, but I feel like men want cock a WHOLE lot more than they let on, and make efforts to "be as straight as fucking possible" to hide their cravings. But this is just something I think!

 

[cofrader]

In a world of polarisation where everyone hold on to their belief. Where a difference mean a menace too their established security.

One can view homosexuality as dislike of conformity. Something that doesn't fit in their perspective.

Frankly, I see heterophobia on this site sometime. It's not a one way thing. It's the fear of validation of our peers.

Phobia is a survival instinct, to protect our mental concepts.

Like everything else, acceptance is the remedy. Take care of yourself my friend, It's good that you ask yourself those questions, but focusing on them only give them fuel.

I guess making the question is the most important not sure if it ever will answered.
I think is a human flaw to take advantage of the minorities to blame them for any problem instead of taking the effort to fix the problem.
Never knew a violent homophobic just a men who was afraid to be with a gay men and become uneasy working with one as he could do some kind of trik and getting him in bet or something. I never understood what caused that behavior.
I was on the other side accused of being gay without reason. But considering the amount of time and effort this bully's invested I suspect at least one was bi of gay on closet overreacting to cover himself.
I think religion is just an excuse for their actions of sime but not the cause, I don't think any religion tells you to harm anyone but some does theirs interpretations with an agenda. I hope to see soon a wider look by religion on the subject but it's hard to change a non changing business.
For me matters that a person is good, not particularly interested in his orientation somehow if they want to clarify their orientation eventually they will.
I'm gonna stop now. good question but I cant answer it. And I suspect a person with that amount of hate wouldn't be on lpsg nor willing to share something useful.

 

[Evenflow618]

Shame probably. I know a few closeted people that stay on the down low because they feel shame on being gay. So people project with fear and anger to hide the lie they live in.

 

[Sexb1150]

Homophobia existed long before the AIDS crisis...

I think what he's trying to say is that the AID crisis ramped up what may have been a waning stigma and made it that much worse going foward. The 90's was homophobia on steroids. I think that we regressed as a community during the 90's and 2000's because we lost a lot of elders and possibly role models during the 80's.

 

[EGR1972]

What i see a lot here is a view of "there is no heterosexuality, only bi. Straight people are bisexuals who have not come out of the closet yet".

I think all men have internalized homosexual desires. Those that can't come to terms with their feelings express it as varying levels of homophobia.

This is what i meant.

 

[notthatguy]

I really have no idea....

One of my very good friends is homophobic.

Possibly, it is because they are not sexually secure?

 

[Evenflow618]

There is a lot more bisexual and homosexual people than is being reported. People feel shame that they are until they find support and acceptance.

 

[huguest]

So I answered earlier, but hearing these responses, are making me pivot a bit because it seems like people are answering to more of a collective societal sense of homophobia then instead of why specifically straight men are so. I stand by my resentment hypothesis because I do think it's a layer present, but I think for whatever reason, people here are tiptoeing over the obvious basis of specific straight male homophobia, and how it relates to heterosexual sexual opportunities. What I've observed in the West is that amongst the small echelon of attractive, desirable, and powerful men, homophobia not only disappears but a lot more sexual fluidity and deviance seems to appear. Which is why your coworker seems to have gay panic near an openly homosexual man, but Tom Hardy can allude to having messed around with guys before nonchalantly. What I've also observed is in non western cultures where sex is considered more of an obligation that women are to bestow upon men, they've managed to societally reconcile non heteronormative interactions, up to and often including homosexual or transsexual encounters and couplings.
I don't know how an experiment could be set up, and I couldn't tell you how the the metrics would be extrapolated exactly, but I'm willing to bet could you take any significant population of straight men(in the west), and you'd find the "% of homophobia expressed" exists in an somewhat direct inverse ratio to "% of men deemed desirable by the average straight woman"
The few short men deemed desirable by women at large tend not to have short man insecurities. Broke men have no qualms about their socioeconomic ineffectiveness when they are successful hobosexuals. "Himbos" are often quite happy with being percieved as unintelligent. Every single aversion, phobia, insecurity, or negative projection common to straight men in some way shape or form exists as an inverse to their attractiveness to straight women, more specifically the opportunities their desirability conjures.

Woa !
complicated...
I think your still trying to generalise your feeling over every hetero man.
Your saying that there a class of men (sexier men) and potentially gay that could be a treat to some straight men and their heterosexuality ?!

A straight men doesn't care if is bro is sexy or not, He will not sleep with him, He is straight, that mean not interested in men. And if there is 5 gay men in the room with some lady's, it's 5 guy I don't have to compete with to get the women, (better for me)

The type of "homophobia" your referring too is when a gay men doesn't respect the personal space of someone and that someone react angrily at. It would be the same for a hetero violating the personal space of a women, that doesn't qualify her as a phobia for men, Just that he's a pervert.

For the "socio standing" your referring too, can be explain by the fact that gay men don't have kid's and are career oriented. So there's your social clash, Gay men don't have the same social circle. Most straight men will end up in a platonic relation. So not interested in the elusive aspect of the gay community.

It's not a phobia, it's just not the same social circle.