Haha good luck bro!Cheers man, you’re like my personal agony aunt hahaa. Think I’ll just see how it plays out over the next few weeks.
Haha good luck bro!Cheers man, you’re like my personal agony aunt hahaa. Think I’ll just see how it plays out over the next few weeks.
I think you have amazing instincts and strong emotional intelligence from the posts I've read. Not everyone has that on this site and so it's important to take various pieces of advice with a grain of salt.Yeah I think your probably right, can’t see him actually dumping her. But also can’t see when he’s gonna actually make a decision - Although if he doesn’t dump her then it’s basically decision made right. I feel like I should tell the guy I’m seeing the whole story, I feel really bad almost hiding this from him - do you think that’s a really bad idea?
I posted my last comment before reading this.Thanks man. I went and had a chat with him last night and told him the latest saga (I’d told him before that in the past I’d hooked up with my friend). He was totally fine with it and I’m glad I told him and was honest. But then he asked whether I wanted to make what we had an open relationship and said he’d had them in the past and was cool with it. I’ve never done that before but not totally against it. Buuuut that would give my friend exactly what he wants and goes back to the same crap situation. Also not sure entirely how I feel about my bf fucking other guys. I just said I’d think about it. Ffs why is my life such a mess
I agree and, to build on this, one thing reading The Ethical Slut did for me was it help me understand that certain uncomfortable emotions – like even jealousy – are not abnormal... I don't think open relationships are 100% comfortable for anyone at first, so it's good to have help sorting through what the healthy emotions are and what the unhealthy ones are. There's a lot of unlearning we need to each do about what's okay and what's not... monogamy isn't inherently right, it's just been beaten into us by society. And so sometimes it feels bad (guilt!) to go against that, even when open relationships can be great.Hahah yeah open relationships r cool too. U guys just need to be on the same page.
As for ur friend, if ur relationship opens up doesn’t mean u should hook up with him.
The point is, his relationship isn’t open.
Only open the relationship if u feel 100% comfortable, otherwise it won’t be enjoyable at all
Cheers man. We talked about it some more and agreed that we’ll try an open relationship and see how it’s goes, we can always change later if it doesn’t work. He’s done it before but I haven’t so we’ll see. In a way it may be good as he’s a total top and I’m vers so gives me the chance to top sometimes too. And the thought of him fucking other guys is also a bit of a turn on.I agree and, to build on this, one thing reading The Ethical Slut did for me was it help me understand that certain uncomfortable emotions – like even jealousy – are not abnormal... I don't think open relationships are 100% comfortable for anyone at first, so it's good to have help sorting through what the healthy emotions are and what the unhealthy ones are. There's a lot of unlearning we need to each do about what's okay and what's not... monogamy isn't inherently right, it's just been beaten into us by society. And so sometimes it feels bad (guilt!) to go against that, even when open relationships can be great.
Thank you and thanks for the update! Happy for you, and for the new experience. How was last night?Cheers man. We talked about it some more and agreed that we’ll try an open relationship and see how it’s goes, we can always change later if it doesn’t work. He’s done it before but I haven’t so we’ll see. In a way it may be good as he’s a total top and I’m vers so gives me the chance to top sometimes too. And the thought of him fucking other guys is also a bit of a turn on.
Not sure what to do about my friend yet though. He’s meant to be coming round tonight for us to talk so be interesting to see what he says…
Yeah it was good. We chatted for a long time and he said he was still really unsure what to do and needed longer to figure it out. I told him that with the guy I’m seeing we’d agreed to have an open relationship. We then ended up having a few drinks and well that resulted in us fucking and him staying over. I’m just gonna go with the flow now. Him cheating on his gf is his issue to deal with if it comes out. I’m seeing a guy I’m into and as we’re open and agreed to tell each other everything I’m not cheating. And it’s good sex haha.Thank you and thanks for the update! Happy for you, and for the new experience. How was last night?
I'm late to party, but it has been a few months now since your last post.Yeah it was good. We chatted for a long time and he said he was still really unsure what to do and needed longer to figure it out. I told him that with the guy I’m seeing we’d agreed to have an open relationship. We then ended up having a few drinks and well that resulted in us fucking and him staying over. I’m just gonna go with the flow now. Him cheating on his gf is his issue to deal with if it comes out. I’m seeing a guy I’m into and as we’re open and agreed to tell each other everything I’m not cheating. And it’s good sex haha.
Is working out so far, still with the guy I was seeing and the open relationship is working well for us at the moment. He’s fine with me playing with my friendI'm late to party, but it has been a few months now since your last post.
What has happened?
Did it work out for you?
Sorry, but you make it sound like everything is about you and your needs - but there are other people involved too, namely his GF. You say "if she finds out it's on him" but actually it's also on you. It's great that you're in an open relationship but the thing to remember is that she is not. I believe she deserves to know what's happening so she can make her own decision as to whether it suits her or not. You were given the choice of an open relationship - but she hasn't been given a choice about whether she wants to be in this position (her BF fucking other people) because nobody has been man enough to be honest with her.Is working out so far, still with the guy I was seeing and the open relationship is working well for us at the moment. He’s fine with me playing with my friend
Been fucking with my mate roughly once a week, which is a bit more regular than we were before. I do feel bad for his gf but I’ve been clear if she finds out it’s on him.
So at the moment I’m just getting plenty of dick lol
Yes, it has only been a few months. Let the dust settle and try to focus on the things that you liked about him since the beginning. Have you asked him how he is feeling?Guys just to give a bit of an update on this as has changed A LOT over last few months and now I’m back in a tricky position!
So about October time I broke up with my bf, it just didn’t work out. My friend then suggested we go on holiday to ‘cheer me up’ to which his gf agreed so we went away together. For the whole week we basically acted as a couple. After that week he said he can’t go back to his gf, I’m what he wants and the week away just made him finally sure of that.
So…he broke up with his gf and told everyone he was bi and that he wanted to be with me. This as you can imagine was super messy and created a lot of drama.
We’ve therefore been together and monogamous since early November. At the start I was literally delighted as this is what I’ve wanted for years. But….now I’m starting to feel like I’m not sure this is what I want and that maybe the reality of being together doesn’t live up to the fantasy/dream of being with him I had.
He has given up so much to be with me and alienated a lot of his friends/family so I don’t feel like it’s an easy one to even bring up with him.
Should I just try to make it work for a bit longer and see how it goes?