Big Dick But Single Af

[User201921]

Don’t know where else to go but, I was in a 3 year LTR with a POS up until a year ago. I had to finish up school so I didn’t seek out a relationship very hard. Now that I am seeking something more than just a hookup, I just am feeling like a walking 9” dildo. Everyone loves my cock and I get told Im really good at sex by hookups, but I really want an emotional connection with someone. My only two ex boyfriends used to say they loved my cock way more often than they’d say “I love you”

What do I do to start a connection with someone that isn’t purely based off their attraction to my dick? I’ve tried not sending pics at first but then when they do see it, it gets all the attention. I love it, but hard to start something new with someone that isn’t based purely on sex / how hung I am. I don’t mean to sound conceited, this is just my life experience

 

[brwayne1]

Just send pics of everything else. If you're looking for something more, a guy who keeps pressuring you to see your dick is not going to be the right one. Keep at it. Go on actual dates instead of meet cutes. Force a coffee, it will weed out the dick collectors

 

[cedarizzo]

Don't show your cock. Get to know the guy, let them get to know you. Wait until the guy really likes you for you, not for your cock, then show him. There are guys out there that will love everything about you and not just your cock. Those are the keepers!

 

[Brodie888]

Find pictures of average sized flaccid cocks that could conceivably be yours. If asked, present those. Or take pictures from really bad angles or poking through layers of clothing that make you look smaller.

If you actually meet up and something happens, just say you've always been "a grower".

But to be honest, the problem isn't other people. The problem is your ability to reject the wrong people and pick the right people out of all the people who are sexuality attracted to you. It's no different than being ridiculously good looking. Wanting to fuck you isn't a high enough bar to start a relationship let alone stay in one.

 

[deleted718765]

Don't show your nudes if you don't want guys to get too focused by it. I know it's a lot easier to get attention when you show nudes but I would really try and hold off on that. Make it very clear when you talk to guys you're looking for something serious not a hookup. You also may need to change where you're meeting them. Find some place not so hookup focused.

 

[malakos]

I’ve tried not sending pics at first but then when they do see it, it gets all the attention.

You mean, like, when you wait a couple days before sending, instead of right away?

 

[deleted1074483]

Don't show your nudes if you don't want guys to get too focused by it. I know it's a lot easier to get attention when you show nudes but I would really try and hold off on that. Make it very clear when you talk to guys you're looking for something serious not a hookup. You also may need to change where you're meeting them. Find some place not so hookup focused.

not just don't show nudes, but in underwear or anything that suggests a bulge and keep your profile completely non sexual - sure add in that your top or vers but ignore the dick descriptors (that some sites have) and make sure that you focus on what you are looking for.

you must also resist the urge to 'show off' as thats also a learned behaviour on your part and just block those that ask for dick pix immediately.

as others have said first/second meets keep friendly and in non hook up environments and really get to know the other person - is this someone you'd like to have a relationship with - sex is great and can be the icing on the cake or cherry on top but its not the only important aspect to a long term relationship.

good luck mate

 

[User201921]

You mean, like, when you wait a couple days before sending, instead of right away?

Yes

 

[User201921]

Thanks y’all. I guess I’ve been approaching finding someone with too much of a focus on sex. I appreciate y’all’s input

 

[tito21]

Why show your nudes or any bulge pics at all? Why not just post a few good pics of yourself (fully clothed)?

If a guy that’s genuine and likes your appearance + your profile descriptions, then he’ll hit you up or will meet up with you for a coffee. Don’t jump into the bedroom right away. Have a few dates first before showing them your cock.

I understand that you won’t get many likes or hits on from other gay men if you don’t show some skins on your profile pics. But it’s a good way to filter out the flakes/sex hounds/size queens from hitting you up.

 

[Sfmusic]

Don’t know where else to go but, I was in a 3 year LTR with a POS up until a year ago. I had to finish up school so I didn’t seek out a relationship very hard. Now that I am seeking something more than just a hookup, I just am feeling like a walking 9” dildo. Everyone loves my cock and I get told Im really good at sex by hookups, but I really want an emotional connection with someone. My only two ex boyfriends used to say they loved my cock way more often than they’d say “I love you”

What do I do to start a connection with someone that isn’t purely based off their attraction to my dick? I’ve tried not sending pics at first but then when they do see it, it gets all the attention. I love it, but hard to start something new with someone that isn’t based purely on sex / how hung I am. I don’t mean to sound conceited, this is just my life experience

In addition to not sending nude photos, try not being intimate and just dating the guy (no sex) until you get a feel that he is someone special worth exploring a relationship with, and only then adding sex to the mix.

That’s what I did when I was single, and my husband and I are going on 20 years together. I can’t guarantee it will work for you, but what can it hurt?