Bottoming post sphincterotomy

[bttmdaddy4]

Hi everyone, I’m new here! Hope this is the right place for a question like this.
Ive been in a ltr for 6 years now with my partner and everything has been amazing. But I have always had trouble with fissures which made sex difficult. I went down the surgery route to try and solve the problem. I got a sphincterotomy to try and make it so my fissures were less of an issue. Im now 4 months post surgery now but bottoming is still not super easy. Ive tried butt plugs and toys and about a 5th of the the time they me there, but more often than not when we try to have sex, it ends up with us both being disappointed. My partner and I both have huge dicks so none of us really want to bottom since it doesnt really come easy even after prep.
Is there something i’m missing? Have other people had the same surgery? Any advice or help would be appreciated. I just want to GET FUCKED!

 

[winesthel945]

I have not had that procedure, but I know from talking to those that have... Scar tissue is going to be less flexible, so you're going to have to rely all the rest of the tissue around to be even more flexible. Scar tissue will also stretch, but it'll be a year or more before it's really toughened up enough.

This means you're just going to have to take it a lot slower with your practice stretching... perhaps find a wider variety of butt plugs, or maybe one of those toys that's more cone-shaped so that you can just keep easing down a little further every few days or every week.

You can get there, you just have to have a lot more patience. Everything down there takes longer to heal. Even if you think it's ok, it's just barely keeping it together (but aren't we all at some level...).

Good luck!

 

[dimru]

When phimosis, use coconut oil Might be good for stretching the ass too. Use dildos, different sizes, it takes time to get used to

 

[Mickey Finn]

I've heard some guys use poppers to relax the anal sphincter and make dilation/penetration easier, but that's introducing chemicals and you might not want to go there.

 

[mars515]

Hi everyone, I’m new here! Hope this is the right place for a question like this.
Ive been in a ltr for 6 years now with my partner and everything has been amazing. But I have always had trouble with fissures which made sex difficult. I went down the surgery route to try and solve the problem. I got a sphincterotomy to try and make it so my fissures were less of an issue. Im now 4 months post surgery now but bottoming is still not super easy. Ive tried butt plugs and toys and about a 5th of the the time they me there, but more often than not when we try to have sex, it ends up with us both being disappointed. My partner and I both have huge dicks so none of us really want to bottom since it doesnt really come easy even after prep.
Is there something i’m missing? Have other people had the same surgery? Any advice or help would be appreciated. I just want to GET FUCKED!

This might be counterintuitive but trust me on this: when the head is about to enter your hole BEAR DOWN ON IT. Like push back against the dick using your hole. That movement actually dilates the sphincter. Inhaling deeply for some people makes the anus tighten more

 

[DaavidseeksGoliath]

Hi everyone, I’m new here! Hope this is the right place for a question like this.
Ive been in a ltr for 6 years now with my partner and everything has been amazing. But I have always had trouble with fissures which made sex difficult. I went down the surgery route to try and solve the problem. I got a sphincterotomy to try and make it so my fissures were less of an issue. Im now 4 months post surgery now but bottoming is still not super easy. Ive tried butt plugs and toys and about a 5th of the the time they me there, but more often than not when we try to have sex, it ends up with us both being disappointed. My partner and I both have huge dicks so none of us really want to bottom since it doesnt really come easy even after prep.
Is there something i’m missing? Have other people had the same surgery? Any advice or help would be appreciated. I just want to GET FUCKED!

Both huge? You could invite a third who isn't quite so huge who likes to service huge cocks to play in various positions....I volunteer.

 

[MancmanMatt]

The question here is are you having difficulty because both of you are too tight and don't know how to relax. Or are you having difficulty because you know how to relax but the skin is too tight and hurts being stretched?

So many guys do not know how to relax properly. The crazy thing is that most guys can actually take an average sized fist if they knew what they were doing. This is only if they haven't suffered from extended periods of having issues like anal fissures or something though that causes scar tissue.

You still sound like you're pretty tight post surgery and the skin of the anus takes a long time to heal from fissures. If you aren't properly healed then bottoming has to wait until then.

I suffered from chronic fissures until I managed to solve the issue, non surgically, by breaking the cycle that I was in. So I know what it can be like.

You might not like the idea of poppers, I certainly don't , but with guys who do not know how to relax properly they do seem to work extremely well. Now I know how to relax and I wish this was something you could teach people easily but it's not as you're teaching someone how to use muscles they cannot see. You might not be interested in using poppers, long term, but you could use them as an experiment. If you find his dick is easy to take when you're using them then you know the problem is with you being able to relax properly. If you find that, even with poppers, the skin of the anus is hurting from being stretched too far, then relaxing isn't the issue.

Remember your anus needs a lot of time for the fissures to fully heal and stretching the delicate anal skin before this will hurt.

Another thing to remember is lube. Some people are sensitive to the chemicals in most water based lubes. Parabens and glycerol are what you need to look out for. It's worth trying a lube, such as Sassy from Sliquid, that's free from these as you might find it far more comfortable.

Coconut oil is not suitable as lube as its way too thin to provide proper lubrication down there.

 

[MancmanMatt]

Additionally here are a couple of posts I've written on this in the past you may find useful...

Bottoming: Hurting Too Much

Tears Around Hole?

 

[Jsv937]

I'm having the same problem as the original post. I'm considering the surgery so it's disappointing to hear that it didn't help much. How big is your partner if its not too personal. I've been in pain since age 10. I tore the opening and being a dumb kid I just kept the bleeding to myself for years. Now I'm sick of a lifetime of suffering and I haven't been fucked by my husband since May 2021. Is the surgery worth it or would it just add to the pain?