This thread attracts guys who seek severity, fine, no issues. I would like to explore with you a concept that as a dom myself bears a moment of consideration.
I distinctly remember the gut punch I felt the first time I saw someone "shot" on television in 1960. It was brutal and hurt my sense of balance. There was no blood, a blank was fired, the guy grabbed his stomach and fell dead to the floor.
Now on mainstream broadcast television it's a race to see how much more extreme one can be than the next, bits of brains and skulls blasting into the faces of onlookers, graphic depictions of organs and bones being ripped out. I have no use for it, as the producers rely on shock value instead of mental imagery. The mind is far more able to create suspense, horror and excitement than the act itself.
Alcohol was a buzz then, and marijuana a bit better. In the 70s not enough, though, as MDMA, acid, quaaludes, cocaine, and hash were mandatory. Now meth and worse have made zombies of many of our central cities. What's next? The fun of the buzz disappeared, resulting in only meaningless checkout.
Alfred Hitchcock movies are still terrifying and timeless, as they lead the viewer's mind into the dark room of terror, with more than a gratuitous scene of violence. It's the thrill of the unknown that made him the acknowledged master of terror.
Sex can be the same. Toys, whips, chains, electro devices, slings, fuck machines, cages, dungeons and the like are no match for what can happen when you enter the mind, and move it to its destination of ultimate stimulation, which is obviously different for every individual.
When more and more severe situations are sought, there is no end to the search, nothing ever brutal enough to satisfy, and at the peril of being arrested when it becomes non-consensual. Kinkmen always has long permissions, descriptions and clear voluntary documentation to avoid jail. When we get to the point that it is no longer stimulating unless there is true abuse and suffering, we end up with Jeffrey Dahmer, John Gacy and Andrew Cunanan, to name a few.
I dined one evening at California Cafe in Mission Hills, San Diego, where an incredibly magnetic and attractive man was hosting and seated us. I had a conversation with him, and he was absolutely enchanting, zero doubt that I could have gone home with him, and considered it. I then worked in Florida when the murder of Versace occurred... I had been in South Beach the night before. If suffering and death is so attractive, which of you would like to have been one of their victims?
I'm not condemning any fetish here. I think it's time to reassess our criteria for what is "normal" and self evaluate to avoid crossing the point of no return.