dating when you are a chubby guy

[Queerh]

hi


i am a black chubby lad and I have been single for a few years to be honest i have given up dating because i felt not desired for the right reason but more of a fetich for some blocks because of my weight or my skin. I just want someone to want me for me, just quirky self and shyness.
I am not a 10 and would never be one and I am honest with myself and I wonder if I will ever meet someone right or I will just finish my life alone and no one cares about me.

I know that I have to deal with a lot past trauma and therapy is here for that and it is a long road ahead but sometime I am just tired of doing that road alone and just want someone but no anyone.



What should I do ?

I love guys of all shapes and sizes. Perhaps try and meet an older man who will look past superficial stuff and see you for who you are xx

 

[ricklk]

I love guys of all shapes and sizes. Perhaps try and meet an older man who will look past superficial stuff and see you for who you are xx

thanks for the advice

i am actually i am mostly into older guys but i am not close to younger guys maximum at least a year older than me but not under because i feel wrong kind of a turn off because of past issues. i am a bit complicated and i kind of feel older than i am really but yeah

 

[AllDixNeedLuv69]

i am a chubby guy and other chubby guys like me and skinny guys do even more --try to keep things positive in your mind--trust me--if they see youre unhappy with yourself they how you going to make someone else happy--

i dated a guy few years ago-he was hooked up on size of his dick--it was small--3 inches maybe 3 1\2 hard and he always wanted to top someone but they never would let him--i said big or small all dicks need attention--we did it he screwed me and he actually felt pretty good --- but as time as we dated he kept saying i wasnt happy with his dick and i told him the only thing i wasnt happy with was the way he felt about himself and his dick--- finally i just got tired of it and broke up with him--told him hope he feels more secure with next guy he is with --i often wonder if my size bothered him as i am 7 to 7 1\2 inches long and little thick--- but i tried to let him know i was satisfied with what he had to offer--he just didnt believe me

 

[ricklk]

i am a chubby guy and other chubby guys like me and skinny guys do even more --try to keep things positive in your mind--trust me--if they see youre unhappy with yourself they how you going to make someone else happy--

i dated a guy few years ago-he was hooked up on size of his dick--it was small--3 inches maybe 3 1\2 hard and he always wanted to top someone but they never would let him--i said big or small all dicks need attention--we did it he screwed me and he actually felt pretty good --- but as time as we dated he kept saying i wasnt happy with his dick and i told him the only thing i wasnt happy with was the way he felt about himself and his dick--- finally i just got tired of it and broke up with him--told him hope he feels more secure with next guy he is with --i often wonder if my size bothered him as i am 7 to 7 1\2 inches long and little thick--- but i tried to let him know i was satisfied with what he had to offer--he just didnt believe me

Yeah i totally get it because the issue with your ex was just the lack of confidence and trusting you fully because he felt inadequate and you could have reassured him constantly that he was good and he will never fell enough until he understand that he is good enough for himself. It’s the best thing you did because you would becoming too much to bear on the relationship and create a weight that weight constantly on the relationship that makes a tear that create a distant between the both of you after a while.

I am not a size kind of guys because I want my walls to remain a certain way because I want someone who knows what he is doing and I am not into long sex session because I want to sleep and I have things to do and I have to work in the morning. I am kind of vanilla in the bedroom, if you get it , some may say boring. I am more submissive but I do give Top energy and quite intimating I have been told but I am quite reserved and just take my time to open to people .

 

[ricklk]

the only thing that i learned about rejection on dating website, it is never personnal because it is just a rejection based on a image and the limits put on us by ourselves

 

[deleted1074483]

remember as well that lots of us have lots of rejections too - irrespective of race, age, colour, weight - it happens to every one a lot of the time and especially on dating apps - thats because you can just keep swiping right to see if there is 'someone better' thats what they rely on you doing and encouraging. It happens in real life lots too - and the only way to find the 'right one' is by putting yourself out there and accepting that some won't be attracted to you and you won't be attracted to everyone either - so no doubt you've also done your fair share of rejecting others on these sites?

remember it isn't anything personal - they don't know you, you don't know them and us gays can be incredibly fickle on line.

If you are using apps then you need to find the most flattering, REAL/CURRENT, picture of yourself - i think Kim Kardashian once said something along the lines of she took 2-300 pictures of herself before she found ONE that she was happy to post, so do take time to take/find a decent picture of yourself to use.

And as you've said yourself, continue to work on yourself and your self esteem - we're all a work in progress some are just further down the production line that others ;-)

Good luck

 

[ricklk]

remember as well that lots of us have lots of rejections too - irrespective of race, age, colour, weight - it happens to every one a lot of the time and especially on dating apps - thats because you can just keep swiping right to see if there is 'someone better' thats what they rely on you doing and encouraging. It happens in real life lots too - and the only way to find the 'right one' is by putting yourself out there and accepting that some won't be attracted to you and you won't be attracted to everyone either - so no doubt you've also done your fair share of rejecting others on these sites?

remember it isn't anything personal - they don't know you, you don't know them and us gays can be incredibly fickle on line.

If you are using apps then you need to find the most flattering, REAL/CURRENT, picture of yourself - i think Kim Kardashian once said something along the lines of she took 2-300 pictures of herself before she found ONE that she was happy to post, so do take time to take/find a decent picture of yourself to use.

And as you've said yourself, continue to work on yourself and your self esteem - we're all a work in progress some are just further down the production line that others ;-)

Good luck

thanks

i am actually not the type to reject people but rather talking and usualy get ghosted or stop talking too.
i don't judge based on physical aspect but more on the emotionnal connection, because beauty fades so i keep it going and evcen send a short meessage and see where it goes, i do keep it short for those who are married, open relationship because it is not what i am looking for.

 

[ricklk]

Hi

i have decided to let it go and just accept the fact that i am the one who is bad at online dating , because i am being ghosted and either getting dick pics without even a hi
so yes , i am wonder if i should just delete all the apps from grindr , bearww , biggercity , hornet and growlr because it is bad for me
or just stay and see if i can meet someone who likes for me

 

[ricklk]

hi

i was one my first date or just cofe for the 1st time in 5 years, i'm bad at dating and i see that i can be just bad at it but there is nothing wrong at being seen as good looking by someone

 

[chrisrobin]

Yeah I'm chubby and I've stopped looking now I'm in my 30s. Spent my teens and 20s desperate to find someone, never did. Probably never will and I've come to accept that now and I kind of feel ok about it.

Hey mate, good you accept some things and accept them for what they are. To many guys "hunt" for a partner, maybe now you're more relaxed one will come for you.
The main thing is to be true to yourself and don't sell yourself short, life is there to be enjoyed even solo, and heck, been doing that for a while now and yep, its ok, I survive and am content.

 

[ricklk]

Hey mate, good you accept some things and accept them for what they are. To many guys "hunt" for a partner, maybe now you're more relaxed one will come for you.
The main thing is to be true to yourself and don't sell yourself short, life is there to be enjoyed even solo, and heck, been doing that for a while now and yep, its ok, I survive and am content.

thanks that is super sweet