Definition of Top and Bottom?

[Countryguy63]

{snip}
(Why was there not a top shortage when I lived in LA?)

Because back then, Novice hadn't worn them all out yet :tongue:

 

[novice_btm]

...(Why was there not a top shortage when I lived in LA?)

I don't know, but I have a friend who's top-only, and he always naively says, "I don't understand why guys say it's tough to hook up in L.A. When I was single, all you had to do was say 'hi' to snag someone."
(So annoying!)

Because back then, Novice hadn't worn them all out yet :tongue:

I wish that were the case, but notice I haven't had any reason to request "novice_" be changed to "pro_"
:wink:

 

[GotItAll]

Thanks for all the interesting answers.

Before I would have thought that being in a homosexual relationship meant that it's probably a case of taking turns, or something like that. In other words, that both parties do everything.

I could be wrong but I think that most heterosexual people probably think that, so learning more about it is great. It does seem quite complicated though!

Is it safe to say that a high percentage, if not all, gay males have these top/bottom preferences?

It seems like it's quite different to a guy meeting a girl and her not giving head. This seems more like it's commonly accepted, and for the most part, respected to have your own preference.

Is there ever some disappointment in a new partners choice, and can it affect a relationship going forward? eg: you meet a guy, over dinner he says 'I'm a Top', you say 'hell no..', and then that's the end of that?

Another observation/question:
Based on the post from Fenris11 about being a bit effeminate (and being a Bottom only), is it fair to look from the outside at 'camp' gay guys as more commonly the bottoms, and the non-'gay' looking guys as usually the alpha male type Tops?
- No offense intended by that question, its just curiosity. Thanks -

 

[Yankee82]

right.... but there's 2 points to this that aren't being addressed:

1. @countryguy: have you ever bottomed for your partner?
2. @Yankee82: is your 1% gay strictly about plowing an orifice or are you genuinely attracted to other men?

I am attactive to a sex ass, if I see a guy on front of me and is ass is round, plump, wig nice curve from his lower back, he'll yeah I want to fuck him just like I fuck a nice chicks ass!

 

[Yankee82]

Top

 

[Fenris11]

Another observation/question:
Based on the post from Fenris11 about being a bit effeminate (and being a Bottom only), is it fair to look from the outside at 'camp' gay guys as more commonly the bottoms, and the non-'gay' looking guys as usually the alpha male type Tops?
- No offense intended by that question, its just curiosity. Thanks -

HEY I am not camp!
I merely take a more traditional female role.

And no not all 'camp' men are bottoms and not all 'butch' men are tops.

I did not mean to to insinuate that because I am bottom I am camp, effeminate or the like. Don't read into what I did not say mate

 

[TrueShot]

is it fair to look from the outside at 'camp' gay guys as more commonly the bottoms, and the non-'gay' looking guys as usually the alpha male type Tops?

No.

 

[K.Dst]

is it fair to look from the outside at 'camp' gay guys as more commonly the bottoms

Yeah... From my experience when a guy really is camp he's indeed more likely to be a bottom. But when a guy is just effeminate or has some manners it doesn't mean a lot.

and the non-'gay' looking guys as usually the alpha male type Tops?
- No offense intended by that question, its just curiosity. Thanks -

That part, clearly no. :tongue:

Do not forget that though a lot of people think that a gay couple means a "male" man + a man "acting like the female", that's a huge misconception. "Homo" means "Same" while "Hetero" means "Other"
That kind of "heterotyped" relationship exists of course, but when you really look at gay couples you'll see that both guys actually really look the same. I don't know a single gay bodybuilder who's into smaller guys, usually they date other very buff guys (to complete the cliché both have short hair, tatoos and wear tank top even in the middle of winter) while thin short guys with the same hair as Justin Bieber and large baggy clothes only date other biebers :biggrin1:
And usually there's a top and a bottom in all theses couples, though you can tell one appart because they are so much alike.

I've also noticed that with lesbians. Couples where the two girls are both so feminine you wouldn't imagine they're toghether even if they kissed in front of you, and couples where both girls are real dykes with short hairs who could fix your car better than any straight dudes without using any tools :biggrin1:


I know it's not a good thing to respond to a cliché with more clichés, but that's my experience of the stuff :tongue:

 

[losercock]

While I am a bi-sexual with a girlfriend when I am engaged in Gay sex I prefer to strictly be a bottom. I just find gay sex more appealing when there is a power dyanmic that mimics the sexual relationship between a man a women. With my girlfriend I am masculine and dominant and she is feminine and submissive and cute. When I am with guys I like to take that submissive and cute role because its not something I get to experience normally. I think its fun and exciting to be the bitch every once in awhile to a guy, just listening to his wishes, posing in a cute way, being cuddled, taking his direction, etc.

 

[kayman]

I've posted on here before about this. I have a strong preference for topping and really don't attribute my preference to dominance/submission and find relationships with disproportionate power very unappealing.
What it just boils down to is finding penile stimulation much more pleasurable than prostate/anal stim. I've bottomed plenty of times before and don't have any shame about it with some great orgasms resulting, but most of the sensations with bottoming just aren't pleasurable for me.
I've only been in relationships with guys that prefer anal/prostate stimulation but if they want to have a turn switching it up I'll do it for him. The previous posters talking about "total tops/bottoms" that aren't willing to compromise even in a serious relationship about sex position...it just sounds like immaturity plain and simple and they're using "sex role" as a scapegoat.

EDIT: It's getting really annoying how many gay men I meet that are absolutely obsessed with how "masculine" they appear. It just comes off as insecure.

This right here rings so true, and I prefer bottoming. I also agree there are some very insecure individuals that love to harp about how masculine they need appear as if it is the end of the be all when...

 

[NicholasSommerby]

I consider myself strictly a top because I feel like I don't enjoy bottoming. I've said that with the right guy, I wouldn't mind switching it up as long as he did the same for me. I'm finding it common on those hook-up/dating websites where it asks for people to put Vers/Top or Vers/Bottom, now. I don't see a great amount of strictly Versatiles, though.

 

[g_whiz]

Personally I'm not a fan of the whole idea of strictly top/bottom. It's something that has annoyed me ever since I started talking to one dude who was strictly a top and hated that I wanted to top him. I considered bottoming for him and thought to compromise but I got annoyed when he refused to even think of compromising himself. We never got to that point sexually, but the fact that he dropped the idea of us dating simply due to that annoyed me. I prefer the idea of being verse and it's the only thing that makes sense to me, really. In the end, it is all about one's preference, but I notice when I meet someone who has a strict definition of what they are and are not willing to compromise, I get turned off and wanna walk away. It seems to also be the only reason why I only really do oral and have only done that for years (until sorta recently) because I'd like to mess with someone willing to be on equal footing and do verse rather than all the guys I'm interested in only ever being top and never wanting to try it out or flat out saying no. So boring.

This I really agree with. When I was a kid, I was pretty mortified by the mere concept of bottoming. I later had a few positive experiences that convinced me that under the right circumstances lots of different sexual positions can be satisfying.

I can't really get over way the "top/bottom" dynamic models itself after heterosexuality. Versatility might not be for everyone, but in a way there's a lot of potential for exploration beyond the binary of the top/bottom. It doesn't necessarily have to be just pitch/catch for gay men (or heterosexual couples). I'd rather be in a relationship with someone that's versatile because it leaves more room for exploration later on if need be.