Did he like or was he fucking with me

[Dyspo Negero]

I (27M) have had a 10 year friendship with my LO(26M). Now I am DL bi, but the gay side was slowly dying down (sexuality is spectrum), around that time I had moved in with him and slowly became limèrent when I found out that my seemingly straight bff was into trans porn and dick, during that time he was also teasing me in sexual fashion, he would grab my hips, simulate felaciao, grab my pec and so on. All things that would drive me crazy and on the verge of risking it all.

By now, I do have a feeling that he might know I am secretly bi, due to sending him porn (BY ACCIDENT LIKE REAL ACCIDENT, like I ended up lying and saying I was hacked). He’s not naive so I don’t think he would believe my excuse which I am fine with it now, but remember that there is a chance that he might now my real sexuality.



There are other factors that would also confused on what his real intensions were, such as lingering eye contact, dirty talking more sexual teasing.

Months later, he continues to tease me but he then tells me he found a girlfriend, now that unexpectedly sent me into oblivion, I was more depressed, increased anxiety and later my very first panic attack, any time I would hear, see or anytime he would talk about her or how it’s getting serious, I would feel very dejected and disturb and not myself.



I know that he had noticed my shift and know what the triggers are(her), which is why he has stopped talking about her all this much.

So by now I am feeling very depressed and have reoccurring anxiety from the situation,

I also believe my abandonment issues are also flaring up on top of that as I now believe she has taken my place seemingly as one of his important pupils and that eventually he’ll leave me behind.

I fall even deeper into limerence(or love who knows) with stalking, recording and snooping in his phone.(VERY DARK)

The limerence strangely turns very sexual on that part (which adds to the sexual confusion).

I am borderline obsessed at this point until I decide that I cant live like this, I try to focus on myself and pulling back from the relationship for the sake of saving it but from his side it looks like avoiding, ignoring(stonewalling) and ect… (Now that I think about it was definitely my avoidant side coming out).



I can tell that he wasn’t happy with my different behavior, especially with me avoiding him and stonewalling, I couldn’t tell him what was going on as I am not out and my pride but mostly the first thing.

Telling him I have limerence for him(my bff) while posing as completely “straight” was not an option, so I kept it all buried and tried to move one and I only managed to crush my mental health.

Everyday was hard but I was surviving, it’s what I do, I pulled all the way back and I would go out by myself or with other friends, barely talking to him even tho we lived together, be more close with his siblings( not planned) and I guess it was bothering him but I wasn’t doing this in the internet if hurting him, i just wanted to get over it. I would try every now to get back to old vibes but it was beyond me, I sensed a little bit of resentment also from the rejection and humiliation because again in my head he might know about my limerence or that I could be in love with him. There might be resentment for the fact that he may or may not have played games and led me on.



Strides were made and I currently am doing better as I still try to detach and build a life for myself, trying to slowly detach from him, I found myself thinking about him less and less obsessively.

Until today, he has taken his girlfriend to a barbecue of a mutual friend and has left me home alone, I currently going crazy with high migraine and a broken heart and the feeling of heavy betrayal.

He has also constantly mentioned fucking his girlfriend, and side quests he sent her to do, for the preparation of this barbecue. And I’m starting to think now that he is fucking with me, that he’s trying to hurt me on purpose as a way to revenge for pushing him away, at the very least trying to trigger me.



PLEASE HELP ME I GUESS!

 

[ShyHornyAfreakcan]

Find somewhere else to live. Try to move out before Thanksgiving.

He's in a relationship. Distance yourself from his family members. It will only hurt you more to deal with them and not have him.

Jokes do not a sexuality make. His joking doesn't mean he wants you. He could just want attention. And talking about sex with his girlfriend...is what straight guys do.

You say you're bi and the gay side was dying down, so go focus on a woman and keep it cordial with him. When he's back at the place, make plans. When he's out, chill at home. Go find hobbies and plan your outings for when he'll be home.

He's not your soulmate. He's with a woman.

You being depressed over somebody who has never shown anything but sexual jokes says you feel you don't deserve more than that. You need therapy and other activities to pass the time/distract from him.

Let.

Him.

GO.

Once you've moved out, cut off all contact.

 

[playklax01]

I've never seen the word 'limerence' used so many times, I didn't even know what it meant lol. Had to look it up.

There's a bunch of possible explanations for this. The first that came to my mind if that he could be discretely feeling you out to see if you'd be interested. Months of teasing, he could have been giving you a real chance. You didn't bite. He moved on. Simple as that. Coulda-shoulda-woulda. I've had plenty of those moments in my life that I kick myself for now as they were totally obvious, hindsight is 20/20.

Making you feel jealous over the girlfriend could be another ploy to test your interest. If you really want it, you've got to fight for it now.

If you don't want to do any of those things to at least know for sure what the hell is going on, that's your choice, but you can't be mad at him for it. Your feelings are yours to deal with, they're not his fault. It actually sounds like he's behaving more sensitive to your feelings, by not mentioning the gf so much.

If it's too much torture for you to continue down this road, the only option would be to let him go. Nothing is going to chance unless you make it change, and it doesn't sounds like you will or want to. But those are your decisions to make, and deal with any consequences should they arise. Life is all about risks...it would be pretty boring without them.

 

[virgoaliensuperstar]

some straight men absolutely love playing with their gay/bi/queer friends like this. It’s a game to them, they don’t think about the seriousness of people’s feelings. At least you are self aware, and since your feelings are already hurt, it’s time to move on.

You have two options. Tell him what you just told us. The truth. If you can’t face that conversation in person, a letter may be a good idea. You cannot expect a response. You need to do this for you, for closure.

The second option is to cease contact, look for a new place to live, and let bygones be bygones. This will be tough, but you are not in a healthy position/relationship and you need to do what’s best for you. Remember, in a years time, this will just be a blip on the radar.

Good luck friend

 

[Dyspo Negero]

I've never seen the word 'limerence' used so many times, I didn't even know what it meant lol. Had to look it up.

There's a bunch of possible explanations for this. The first that came to my mind if that he could be discretely feeling you out to see if you'd be interested. Months of teasing, he could have been giving you a real chance. You didn't bite. He moved on. Simple as that. Coulda-shoulda-woulda. I've had plenty of those moments in my life that I kick myself for now as they were totally obvious, hindsight is 20/20.

Making you feel jealous over the girlfriend could be another ploy to test your interest. If you really want it, you've got to fight for it now.

If you don't want to do any of those things to at least know for sure what the hell is going on, that's your choice, but you can't be mad at him for it. Your feelings are yours to deal with, they're not his fault. It actually sounds like he's behaving more sensitive to your feelings, by not mentioning the gf so much.

If it's too much torture for you to continue down this road, the only option would be to let him go. Nothing is going to chance unless you make it change, and it doesn't sounds like you will or want to. But those are your decisions to make, and deal with any consequences should they arise. Life is all about risks...it would be pretty boring without them.

I thought that too and one day I decided to push it and I played along, talking dirty, the slight touching so I took it even further and even grabbed his whole butt cheek with my hand, when I did that he was shook in that moment; almost looked and sounded annoyed but I couldn’t tell.
The first time, he was suprised but didn’t say anything, one time he would say “what is your obsession with my ass”( I fucking love his ass, I would rim him for hours, hard not to look), another time he would turn around and say “don’t do that again or I’ll shove my dick in your mouth” (no smile but, dead serious and Piercing into my eyes) (he wouldn’t care as much if I just slapped his ass though). So from there I stopped but he has not, it isn’t as frquesnt but he would grab my pec and still touch me sensually here and there, I admit I am afraid so pretend like it’s it’s not happening, but it’s the way, he does it that makes me feel like it might not be a joke, he would only do it when it’s just the two of us in close proximity or in public still in close proximity but very discreetly so no one but me could notice (like in basket ball if I’m guarding him).
Take in we’re both African men (raised in western countries), white guys will play like that but black (straight) guys don’t often cross that line, not as much as our white counterparts at the very least.
Matter of fact he pulled a stunt like that last week while no one was watching and even grabbed my hips. Later that night, he was talking dirty to me, throwing innuendos, basically saying he would fuck me, I didn’t know what to say and I’ve been avoiding him since like real bad.
I don’t mind playing back but I don’t want any backlash I guess, also he gives mixed messages or maybe I’m just afraid Idk but could you help me decipher what he’s about because I’m confused.
And keep in mind, he’s been watching trans porn for as long as our high school days (he doesn’t know I know), like he might like dick which confuses me even more.
He also has girlfriend, (which kills me on the inside)

Sorry for the long reply but I felt u should know this.

 

[playklax01]

I thought that too and one day I decided to push it and I played along, talking dirty, the slight touching so I took it even further and even grabbed his whole butt cheek with my hand, when I did that he was shook in that moment; almost looked and sounded annoyed but I couldn’t tell.
The first time, he was suprised but didn’t say anything, one time he would say “what is your obsession with my ass”( I fucking love his ass, I would rim him for hours, hard not to look), another time he would turn around and say “don’t do that again or I’ll shove my dick in your mouth” (no smile but, dead serious and Piercing into my eyes) (he wouldn’t care as much if I just slapped his ass though). So from there I stopped but he has not, it isn’t as frquesnt but he would grab my pec and still touch me sensually here and there, I admit I am afraid so pretend like it’s it’s not happening, but it’s the way, he does it that makes me feel like it might not be a joke, he would only do it when it’s just the two of us in close proximity or in public still in close proximity but very discreetly so no one but me could notice (like in basket ball if I’m guarding him).
Take in we’re both African men (raised in western countries), white guys will play like that but black (straight) guys don’t often cross that line, not as much as our white counterparts at the very least.
Matter of fact he pulled a stunt like that last week while no one was watching and even grabbed my hips. Later that night, he was talking dirty to me, throwing innuendos, basically saying he would fuck me, I didn’t know what to say and I’ve been avoiding him since like real bad.
I don’t mind playing back but I don’t want any backlash I guess, also he gives mixed messages or maybe I’m just afraid Idk but could you help me decipher what he’s about because I’m confused.
And keep in mind, he’s been watching trans porn for as long as our high school days (he doesn’t know I know), like he might like dick which confuses me even more.
He also has girlfriend, (which kills me on the inside)

Sorry for the long reply but I felt u should know this.

That context definitely helps show more of the picture. I see multiple possibilities of what it could be now, but have no idea which or if any are correct.

If he's just leading you on and has no interest, at this point, he's just being an ass. If he can dish it out but can't take it, makes him more of an ass. He has no right to be annoyed at all, YOU have the right to be annoyed!

Another possibility is that he's scared to face his own truth about his sexuality, he tests the waters by flirting, but then gets scared again and defensive about it. Being one way in pubic, and another way in private says a lot.

A 'straight' guy who watches trans porn can be a sign that they're into guys but justify it to themselves because it looks like a woman. Another part of the conflict going on their head.

So there's numerous possibilities, these are just some. It's up to you how you want to handle it, but if it's becoming too much for you to take (which is totally understandable), you have options. Either walk away from this friendship, or confront him with the facts and flat out ask what is really going on. 2nd option could get argumentative, or possibly violent (I don't know him...), so be prepared for that if you go there.

But you do not deserve to be played with or teased with, that's downright mean. You need an answer, or need to end it. Or (and I'm not personally a fan of this) play his game against him. If he gets flirty, call him out on it in a negative way, don't welcome it. I don't like stooping low like this, but it could be the thing that makes him understand what he's doing.

 

[Dyspo Negero]

That context definitely helps show more of the picture. I see multiple possibilities of what it could be now, but have no idea which or if any are correct.

If he's just leading you on and has no interest, at this point, he's just being an ass. If he can dish it out but can't take it, makes him more of an ass. He has no right to be annoyed at all, YOU have the right to be annoyed!

Another possibility is that he's scared to face his own truth about his sexuality, he tests the waters by flirting, but then gets scared again and defensive about it. Being one way in pubic, and another way in private says a lot.

A 'straight' guy who watches trans porn can be a sign that they're into guys but justify it to themselves because it looks like a woman. Another part of the conflict going on their head.

So there's numerous possibilities, these are just some. It's up to you how you want to handle it, but if it's becoming too much for you to take (which is totally understandable), you have options. Either walk away from this friendship, or confront him with the facts and flat out ask what is really going on. 2nd option could get argumentative, or possibly violent (I don't know him...), so be prepared for that if you go there.

But you do not deserve to be played with or teased with, that's downright mean. You need an answer, or need to end it. Or (and I'm not personally a fan of this) play his game against him. If he gets flirty, call him out on it in a negative way, don't welcome it. I don't like stooping low like this, but it could be the thing that makes him understand what he's doing.

part of the reason it’s been driving me crazy is because I truly don’t know which one one it is, I tend to think that he is somewhat I yerested simy for the fact that I think he did see that I couldn’t physically stand hearing about his girlfriend and so he would try to avoid that topic at times ( mind u I feel a little bad cause I know he prob wants to share, but it’s litterally gut wrenching at times).
But then I overthink and maybe he thinks I’m just lonely and avoids that topic altother so I’m back at square one wondering if he is for real or just fake, he also tends to make remarkes ce there’s around my sexuality in discreet way, almost like he wants to talk about it;
I once told him I hat to tell him something and he replied; “ that ur gay, yeah I knew that”
Or recently we were talking about autism and my other friend said. Sum like; “you should come out if the closet (talking about autism) and my friend scoffed like “ahhhhhh”
Clearly he has some idea I’m bi so why would he try to confuse me like this unless he truly wanted to, i di t want to beleive that he’s doing this just for jokes or cause he wants confirmation especially since he is basically in the same boat as me with his sexuality.

So I decided that I would fight back in case he is trying tease me, if something comes of this well that’s fine too.
I’m going to confuse the hell out of him too, it’s only fair, if he deems okay to mess with his best friend like this then I’ll go on the offensive too.
I will tease him real bad, I’ll make it so uncomfortable he’ll think twice I’m about playing with me.
In the vent where he is genuinely exploring his sexuality l, hopefully it will make him more comfortable but if not I’ll teach him not to mess with me.

 

[Dyspo Negero]

Any tips

 

[ILoveGames48]

I have this motto about things when it comes to men.. straight and gay.. that I won’t do anything with them until they say ok.. let’s do it..


So I’ve had guys get naked shake their asses at me knowing what I’d like to do with it…. Couple even went as far as jerking off and cumming onto the floor or we’re close enough their cum landed on my legs ..


They were shocked that I never tried to touch them or suck them..

As the last thing I want is them to get pissed or even cry rape..

One time a guy had head of his dick right at my lips even letting the head touch them.. but saying no I can’t suck it..

Sure they tease and all but they do this to try and break me.. but never win.. I win when they get so horny they are the ones that cave in and tell me go for it

 

[ShyHornyAfreakcan]

Any tips

Make sure when they come back home, you're naked on the couch with your big, long, strong bbc and they both will want to take turns riding it and he'll see she can't give him cock and you'll live happily ever after.

Or, even better, stick your tip in him while he's sleeping!
He'll wake up and choose you!

 

[Dyspo Negero]

Find somewhere else to live. Try to move out before Thanksgiving.

He's in a relationship. Distance yourself from his family members. It will only hurt you more to deal with them and not have him.

Jokes do not a sexuality make. His joking doesn't mean he wants you. He could just want attention. And talking about sex with his girlfriend...is what straight guys do.

You say you're bi and the gay side was dying down, so go focus on a woman and keep it cordial with him. When he's back at the place, make plans. When he's out, chill at home. Go find hobbies and plan your outings for when he'll be home.

He's not your soulmate. He's with a woman.

You being depressed over somebody who has never shown anything but sexual jokes says you feel you don't deserve more than that. You need therapy and other activities to pass the time/distract from him.

Let.

Him.

GO.

Once you've moved out, cut off all contact.

You know I think about you said to me often and I wholeheartedly agree so much that at the time, I had screenshoted it and whenever I get flashbacks or intrusive thoughts, I read your commment and come back to reality.
But there are something you don’t know and things still happening till this day.

1. Even since before your comment, I’ve been avoiding him( going out and coming back late at night, having a life outside of him.)

2. The purpose of my post was to find closure and answers, did he like me or was it all in my head( in that case I might seek a professional in due time)
I have zero intentions on being with him, like I’m not expecting a marriage or a relationship( a secret fling maybe) but I never believed we woould be together.

3. Till this day, this man still tries to grope me and I ca t tell if it’s because I do not give him any attention rn, but why is he not focused on his girlfriend. ( I am his bff, I get that but it’s giving me mixed messages and I almost sure that he knows I like (unspoken).

4. I have tried to move on and still trying, I have tried to meet other girls but he has both obviously and not so obviously cockblocked me.
Once where he tried inserting himself into a convo I had with another girl, which I let slide. And the other when I was hanging out with this girl, he went out of his way to find me and “play gay” infront of them (going as far as trying to my pull my pants down.) and when that didn’t work he tried putting me down like those guys when a girl is around.
But why would he do that when the girl in question is his cousin, he had hung out with his own girl earlier that day, why cockblock me instead of helping me move one by making sure I get this girl.

So you see it’s not as simple as move on, I already know I need to amd honestly
I am drained so no matter what I am determined to move on amd detach myself even at the expense of his own feelings but again my real question is, why would you do this to you bff intentionally, he does not strike me as the type to be starved for attention so why play with me like that especially knowing that I might have feeling for him and while having a whole girlfriend amd female clients (personal trainer) that give you attention.

 

[Brodie888]

The way it reads, it sounds like you and you bff are in a standoff.

Neither of you are willing to be open about your sexualities out of fear of being rejected by the other.

If you can't at least admit to him that you are bisexual (which doesn't include your feelings for him), then the door will never open.

 

[Dyspo Negero]

The way it reads, it sounds like you and you bff are in a standoff.

Neither of you are willing to be open about your sexualities out of fear of being rejected by the other.

If you can't at least admit to him that you are bisexual (which doesn't include your feelings for him), then the door will never open.

But it’s weird because, he practically does know on my part, since (don’t judge me) I sent porn on accident one time on Twitter, it wasn’t gay porn but it wasn’t exactly the straight kind either. If he were that interested I think he would have done something but his past actions make him look sus too.
I know he might be bisexual cause he has an extensive history with Transexual porn which he doesn’t know that I know (I think).

 

[Brodie888]

But it’s weird because, he practically does know on my part, since (don’t judge me) I sent porn on accident one time on Twitter, it wasn’t gay porn but it wasn’t exactly the straight kind either. If he were that interested I think he would have done something but his past actions make him look sus too.
I know he might be bisexual cause he has an extensive history with Transexual porn which he doesn’t know that I know (I think).

Then he's too chicken to make the first move. So if you want to go further, next time he grabs your ass or rubs your chest say "If you wanna go there, I'll go there". If he does it again, grab him by cock and see how he reacts. If he doesn't pull away, proceed to blow him.

If he pulls away, laugh it off and every time he grabs your ass do the same thing again.

 

[Dyspo Negero]

Then he's too chicken to make the first move. So if you want to go further, next time he grabs your ass or rubs your chest say "If you wanna go there, I'll go there". If he does it again, grab him by cock and see how he reacts. If he doesn't pull away, proceed to blow him.

If he pulls away, laugh it off and every time he grabs your ass do the same thing again.

Amd let me guess, all those times he’s also walking in his underwear is also just to tease me I guess, a way of getting attention from me?
Can people have such low self esteem, I could get it he was single
But the guy as a girlfriend, what are those guy’s problem.

 

[Brodie888]

Amd let me guess, all those times he’s also walking in his underwear is also just to tease me I guess, a way of getting attention from me?
Can people have such low self esteem, I could get it he was single
But the guy as a girlfriend, what are those guy’s problem.

Walking around in underwear is not here or there really. Guys walk around with less in a locker room each day.

Have you considered that you could be his first preference and this girlfriend is just to fill a gap (pardon the pun)?

Maybe he wants a girl for a relationship but a guy to fool around with at the same time?

When I was in college, I had roommates that were straight and I blew them on the regular, girlfriend or no girlfriend. Most likely they were a shade of bi, but they are all married with kids now.

 

[ShyHornyAfreakcan]

You know I think about you said to me often and I wholeheartedly agree so much that at the time, I had screenshoted it and whenever I get flashbacks or intrusive thoughts, I read your commment and come back to reality.
But there are something you don’t know and things still happening till this day.

1. Even since before your comment, I’ve been avoiding him( going out and coming back late at night, having a life outside of him.)

2. The purpose of my post was to find closure and answers, did he like me or was it all in my head( in that case I might seek a professional in due time)
I have zero intentions on being with him, like I’m not expecting a marriage or a relationship( a secret fling maybe) but I never believed we woould be together.

3. Till this day, this man still tries to grope me and I ca t tell if it’s because I do not give him any attention rn, but why is he not focused on his girlfriend. ( I am his bff, I get that but it’s giving me mixed messages and I almost sure that he knows I like (unspoken).

4. I have tried to move on and still trying, I have tried to meet other girls but he has both obviously and not so obviously cockblocked me.
Once where he tried inserting himself into a convo I had with another girl, which I let slide. And the other when I was hanging out with this girl, he went out of his way to find me and “play gay” infront of them (going as far as trying to my pull my pants down.) and when that didn’t work he tried putting me down like those guys when a girl is around.
But why would he do that when the girl in question is his cousin, he had hung out with his own girl earlier that day, why cockblock me instead of helping me move one by making sure I get this girl.

So you see it’s not as simple as move on, I already know I need to amd honestly
I am drained so no matter what I am determined to move on amd detach myself even at the expense of his own feelings but again my real question is, why would you do this to you bff intentionally, he does not strike me as the type to be starved for attention so why play with me like that especially knowing that I might have feeling for him and while having a whole girlfriend amd female clients (personal trainer) that give you attention.

Think about what I've said often but replied to everyone but me huh?

Sure.

"has both obviously and not so obviously cockblocked me."

Unless he is your chauffeur, this is impossible. Go to another town. It's best to have hookups at least a half hour away so they don't know where you live or show up at your job when things go bad.

Stop making excuses and carve out your own life.

And he is doing it to you because he knows you want him. He's manipulating your feelings for him to stroke his ego.

He want his cake(girlfriend) and to eat it to (your undying admiration)

Look at his behavior now. He'd be a terrible boyfriend.
And probably isn't the best boyfriend to that girl, putting so much effort into confusing you.

Simply, don't react.

He does things to fluster you. You know this. So don't acknowledge them and move on.

If he burst into your room and grabbed you by the chin, does he want to kiss you? NO

He wants you to think he wants to kiss you then at last second move away and say he had you fooled.

It's cruel. It's manipulative.

Stop seeing it as hope and for what it is.

He's messing with you and it's not cool.

If you objectively looked at his actions(imagine it happening to a friend of yours) you'd be pissed and say they deserved better.

So act like it and stop reacting. He gets validation from you.

Stop validating him and distance yourself from him and his family. It will hurt, but it'll hurt the longer you torture yourself with what you can't have.

Pretend he has radiation poisoning and you're going to get cancer. Make moving out a top priority. Don't tell him. FInd somewhere closer to work/university/wherever. Save up rent for a few months so he isn't caught too off guard when you leave.

Also, maybe this will set a fire under your pants...when he inevitably DOES move out..do you think he'll consult you?

No. He'll just move out(likely with this girlfriend)

You'll feel caught offguard and distraught. He'll say no hard feelings but he has to follow his heart.

Follow your heart away from him and confusion.

WHEN SOMEBODY WANTS YOU, YOU WILL NOT BE CONFUSED. YOU'LL KNOW IT FOR CERTAIN JUST AS YOU KNOW YOUR OWN NAME.

 

[Dyspo Negero]

Hey, so I thought I did reply to you, that was a response for your direct comment but if I didn’t my bad.



Also it wasn’t a hookup but it was me chatting a girl up, and he felt the need to insert himself both times, one was passive and the other was aggressive, (by playing gay infront of her and then proceeding to roast me in front her) which he never does.



Since then I have taken the biggest step back when it comes to him, I try to not see him often, I donot really say hi when I do come home and he still awake, I just wait to see him in the morning, I’ve stopped aggressively avoiding him but I won’t go out of my way to see him. I don’t joke as much with him although I want to, I don’t trust him nor do I trust myself around him.

I went from telling him evrything to telling him absolutely nothing, I know it’s not really nice but I basically; humiliated, sad and mostly angry.



Humiliated because I’m pretty sure he knew I liked him (mostly sure) and he went on to keep baiting me like I didn’t matter like I was just a joke. he continue to lead me on with sexual actions, which I get some guys play around like that but if ur so called straight and the person u play with is either gay or bi and might have feelings for you, would you not establish boundaries by then.



Resentful and angry because had he shut it down the first time around, it wouldn’t have gotten to this point, especially since he would “jokingly” grab me sexually but as soon as I did it it was problem.

I’m starting to feel like he only wanted to know if I was on the spectrum witch if true, has strictly strip me of any small trust I had for him, not only that but I’ve

been extremely cold to him and gf.

Matter of fact we went out and he was trying to get me to talk to his gf discreetly (by having her stand next to me), I ignored her ( partly because it’s still painful and I’m still angry)

I do not feel like I ow him and his gf anything at this point especially after what I think he pulled on me, not until I get a conclusion. Call me bitter, call me petty but if it is true, I think that’s not much compared to what he did.



Sad because again, was I so insignificant for him that he would violate my boundaries just for the sake of getting info on me, was his respect for me so low that he had to play with my seemingly hidden sexuality, he had already known I was bi so again why open that box.



A couple disclaimers, I know that I may have cognitive distortions about the situations but after reviewing the situation over and over, I almost can’t come up with any other outcome.

I am definitely planning on leaving on January and I planning on letting him know at the end of the month, I think it’s important I do me at this point and put myself first

 

[ShyHornyAfreakcan]

Hey, so I thought I did reply to you, that was a response for your direct comment but if I didn’t my bad.



Also it wasn’t a hookup but it was me chatting a girl up, and he felt the need to insert himself both times, one was passive and the other was aggressive, (by playing gay infront of her and then proceeding to roast me in front her) which he never does.



Since then I have taken the biggest step back when it comes to him, I try to not see him often, I donot really say hi when I do come home and he still awake, I just wait to see him in the morning, I’ve stopped aggressively avoiding him but I won’t go out of my way to see him. I don’t joke as much with him although I want to, I don’t trust him nor do I trust myself around him.

I went from telling him evrything to telling him absolutely nothing, I know it’s not really nice but I basically; humiliated, sad and mostly angry.



Humiliated because I’m pretty sure he knew I liked him (mostly sure) and he went on to keep baiting me like I didn’t matter like I was just a joke. he continue to lead me on with sexual actions, which I get some guys play around like that but if ur so called straight and the person u play with is either gay or bi and might have feelings for you, would you not establish boundaries by then.



Resentful and angry because had he shut it down the first time around, it wouldn’t have gotten to this point, especially since he would “jokingly” grab me sexually but as soon as I did it it was problem.

I’m starting to feel like he only wanted to know if I was on the spectrum witch if true, has strictly strip me of any small trust I had for him, not only that but I’ve

been extremely cold to him and gf.

Matter of fact we went out and he was trying to get me to talk to his gf discreetly (by having her stand next to me), I ignored her ( partly because it’s still painful and I’m still angry)

I do not feel like I ow him and his gf anything at this point especially after what I think he pulled on me, not until I get a conclusion. Call me bitter, call me petty but if it is true, I think that’s not much compared to what he did.



Sad because again, was I so insignificant for him that he would violate my boundaries just for the sake of getting info on me, was his respect for me so low that he had to play with my seemingly hidden sexuality, he had already known I was bi so again why open that box.



A couple disclaimers, I know that I may have cognitive distortions about the situations but after reviewing the situation over and over, I almost can’t come up with any other outcome.

I am definitely planning on leaving on January and I planning on letting him know at the end of the month, I think it’s important I do me at this point and put myself first

You didn't even believe that first line when you typed it. I will deal with you in the future. I'm horny now and not in the mood to save you from yourself.