Do Bisexual men actually settle down with men?
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My hot take is that everybody stop being a victim and playing the oppression Olympics. Gays do not owe bisexuals anything. And bisexuals do not owe gays anything. Where is your sense of agency?
Gays have the right not to risk their emotions and time on bisexuals. Bisexuals have the right to date the opposite sex.
Gays have the right not to risk their emotions and time on bisexuals. Bisexuals have the right to date the opposite sex.
In your post last Saturday you wrote, "Bisexual men don't have the same privilege that gay men have." Another poster challenged your assertion and so did I. As such, you did indeed introduce the "concept," making the subsequent exchanges relevant and on-topic, contrary to your post above.
That said, and unlike you, I'll address your question directly: "Why do gay men who are clearly anti-bisexual men participate in the “ask a bisexual man” forums?" Your premise is flawed and posited as a tautology. I do not detect that gay men are "clearly" anti-bisexual and your belief is not universally shared as you believe it is.
Rather, you would do well to understand that disagreement on some aspect of bisexual behavior or some disapproval of bisexual identification is no more "anti-bisexual" or "biphobic" as similar disagreement or disapproval of gay men is "anti-gay" or "homophobic." You do not have to agree with the characterizations to which you object, but it does not make other people "anti" or "phobic."
You would do better to earn the respect of people you perceive to be in opposition, rather than accusing them of something they are not. Respect often leads to understanding which leads to acceptance.
This is off topic. The original question has been asked and answered. "Do Bisexual Men Actually "Settle" Dow With Men". The answer is yes, yes they do.
If you want to play a game of gotcha and bash bisexual men gather up the other anti bisexual men folks and start a topic thread to debate the merits and shortcoming of bisexual men.
For what it's worth "I" statements are much more persuasive than "you" statements.
In that case, I am very much on-topic. I also believe bisexual men settle down with other men. I am challenging your posts that gay men are "anti-bisexual." I think you have shortcomings unique to you -- petulance, hyper-sensitivity, defensiveness, pseudo-intellectualism, to name a few -- and not relevant to your sexual identity as bisexual.
Thank you. I'll always take a compliment.
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This thread really became MESSY at one point. And as a gay man, i just wanna express my opinion in regards of bisexual men settling down exclusively with woman (i haven't dated any bisexual or really any man on my life, so feel free to debunk my opinion/theories)
What im gonna say may sound redundant, but i genuinely believe that the reason of this happening is because our society favour heteronormativity. We all know it's easier to be in a straight relationship, you don't have to risk any insults from biggots by showing public affection, you won't have to fight to get married in any country at all and we all have been exposed to the normalcy of straight relationship (be from our parents, media or really any person) meanwhile, us gay people don't really have any reference of what a "traditional" gay couple/family should look like, and if we have, it's most likely tainted by traditional gender roles. Let's also take in fact that we can't have children (not counting trans men.)
So by this point, i have already accepted that us fellow gay/bi men are simply at a disadvantage compared to women if we wanna date a bisexual men, and more than blaming them for not wanting to be with us (i have seen many nasty comments from my fellow gays to bisexual men, shame on you) i think it's more fair to aknowledge that they're just playing by society rules.
My conclussion is that is easier to be in a straight relationship, therefore it's easier for bi men to end up with women. But regardless of what comments came out of my coconut head, don't let this message make you reject any possible partner just because he is bi. Im pretty sure there's plenty of bisexual men that are open to start a serious relationship or even a family with another man, i already heard a couple of stories in this thread
.
What im gonna say may sound redundant, but i genuinely believe that the reason of this happening is because our society favour heteronormativity. We all know it's easier to be in a straight relationship, you don't have to risk any insults from biggots by showing public affection, you won't have to fight to get married in any country at all and we all have been exposed to the normalcy of straight relationship (be from our parents, media or really any person) meanwhile, us gay people don't really have any reference of what a "traditional" gay couple/family should look like, and if we have, it's most likely tainted by traditional gender roles. Let's also take in fact that we can't have children (not counting trans men.)
So by this point, i have already accepted that us fellow gay/bi men are simply at a disadvantage compared to women if we wanna date a bisexual men, and more than blaming them for not wanting to be with us (i have seen many nasty comments from my fellow gays to bisexual men, shame on you) i think it's more fair to aknowledge that they're just playing by society rules.
My conclussion is that is easier to be in a straight relationship, therefore it's easier for bi men to end up with women. But regardless of what comments came out of my coconut head, don't let this message make you reject any possible partner just because he is bi. Im pretty sure there's plenty of bisexual men that are open to start a serious relationship or even a family with another man, i already heard a couple of stories in this thread
.
mounteindew
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I went here to do my own thread about my problem, but i think this is a good place to share it. So, I am in relationship with a woman, we are together for one and a half year now, we recently rented apartment together. I fell in love with her and she wanted to be with me even tho she knew I'm bi and I'm mostly attracted to men. Recently things got so hard for me, I'm afraid that I did the wrong thing getting into this relationship. I started desiring man touch so bad i started feeling like i want to puke. I don't mean only sex but I love fantasizing about deep romantic relationship with a man, i started watching so many gay romance movies. I'm scared that actually I'm just gay, or maybe I just fallen out of love? I just feel terrible with my sexuality that's all, and I think it's important to know that I never had any sexual interaction with a man before, I sent some dick picks to guys.
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mounteindew
Sexy Member
Also I am on this site for like 3 years now so I think that's pretty gay of me. Sorry if it's not the place to say all of this.
Be truthful and honest with her. Do not initiate anything without her knowledge and consent. You're in a relationship, so remember: this situation isn't just about you. There are too many stories of people who treated their partners like crap because they were afraid to face consequences of their actions. I'm talking about people of all genders and sexualities: men, women, gay, bisexual and straight, men leaving women for men, men leaving men for women, men leaving women for women, women leaving men for men, same things with women. Don't be like them.
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Urien
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Then be a man and end it.
Or alternatively, if you are actually bi, don't act on your feelings because you are in a relationship. You will always find people attractive regardless of gender, this doesn't mean it's okay to betray the people you allegedly love.
The fact that you are "mostly into men" doesn't give you a pass. The fact that you are fantasizing about men doesn't give you a pass. Either you are animal or man, desire or discipline, cowardice or courage.
Pick your poison but don't drag this poor girl down with you any further.
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mounteindew
Sexy Member
Don't have to think about me hurting her, our relationship is really strong and we are very true to ourselves, that's why I already talked about it with her 2 days ago, we were seeking for answers but we don't know what to do, we are both still very young and it's our first relationship. She was understanding of my feelings. But I can't help but battle with my thoughts and seek answers. Sorry if my post turned out weird, there's just mess in my head and it's showing... And I would NEVER cheat on her. I'm seeking answers and people who had similiar experience that is all. Also sorry I don't know how to quote someone's response.
By your logic, no statement could ever anti or phobic anything. They are all merely just "characterizations" right? Okay sir.
Mr. Dew, consider gay romance movies and porn as unreal harmless fantasies. Reality is what you must contend with - in which more options than closed relationships exist. If you want to explore sex with men, then find out if you both would agree to the idea of allowing sex with others in an open relationship. What choice will you make?
Honestly just end cuz from how you feel you most likely gonna be miserable.
I don't think the problem is dating a big guy as a gay man. Problem is should we risk it. Most bi men really lonely like men for dick now the wholeThis thread really became MESSY at one point. And as a gay man, i just wanna express my opinion in regards of bisexual men settling down exclusively with woman (i haven't dated any bisexual or really any man on my life, so feel free to debunk my opinion/theories)
What im gonna say may sound redundant, but i genuinely believe that the reason of this happening is because our society favour heteronormativity. We all know it's easier to be in a straight relationship, you don't have to risk any insults from biggots by showing public affection, you won't have to fight to get married in any country at all and we all have been exposed to the normalcy of straight relationship (be from our parents, media or really any person) meanwhile, us gay people don't really have any reference of what a "traditional" gay couple/family should look like, and if we have, it's most likely tainted by traditional gender roles. Let's also take in fact that we can't have children (not counting trans men.)
So by this point, i have already accepted that us fellow gay/bi men are simply at a disadvantage compared to women if we wanna date a bisexual men, and more than blaming them for not wanting to be with us (i have seen many nasty comments from my fellow gays to bisexual men, shame on you) i think it's more fair to aknowledge that they're just playing by society rules.
My conclussion is that is easier to be in a straight relationship, therefore it's easier for bi men to end up with women. But regardless of what comments came out of my coconut head, don't let this message make you reject any possible partner just because he is bi. Im pretty sure there's plenty of bisexual men that are open to start a serious relationship or even a family with another man, i already heard a couple of stories in this thread
The purpose of dating is for the two participants to spend time and communicate with one another in order to find out if they are compatible. According to you, most lonely gay men "who like men for dick now the whole" would make a fine match for their bi counterparts.
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