Do guys ever hookup and still consider themselves straight?

[johndeereboy]

Have any of you straight men ever hooked up with another man, yet still consider yourself straight?

 

[Gecko4lif]

No.

 

[someperson]

No.

funny the question is phased in such a way that a yes or no answer would not work.

 

[D_Fuzzy_Nutter]

Huh? Are you serious? If a straight guy hooks up with another guy, he's not straight.

 

[Gecko4lif]

funny the question is phased in such a way that a yes or no answer would not work.

Actually it does.

"Have any of you straight men ever hooked up with another man"
That is a yes or no question

"yet still consider yourself straight? "
That is also a yes or not question, and beyond that is is a yes or no question posing as a qualifier for the previous question.


So yeah. No works.

 

[someperson]

Actually it does.

"Have any of you straight men ever hooked up with another man"
That is a yes or no question

"yet still consider yourself straight? "
That is also a yes or not question, and beyond that is is a yes or no question posing as a qualifier for the previous question.


So yeah. No works.

It should have been to separate questions though..

 

[Smaccoms]

It should have been to separate questions though..

Actually, I see a valid point to the question. There are a lot more people to have engaged in sexual relations with the same gender as they identify as, yet continue to identify as heterosexual. This question deals with that gray area exactly; the reality for the person mentioned above may or may not be valid. If no one is truly 100% one way or the other, than what does it mean to identify as "heterosexual"?

The topic that I see this question boiling down to is what motivations do heterosexual men have for engaging with other men sexually, if they have done so before.

Trust me, there is much more to sexual activity than sexual attraction or excitement. It is that fact which makes this conversation so interesting in the first place.

 

[2_fister]

Have any of you straight men ever hooked up with another man, yet still consider yourself straight?

Nope.

 

[NC_BBC]

Huh? Are you serious? If a straight guy hooks up with another guy, he's not straight.

It baffles me....
The number of ways this same question keeps being asked. As if changing a few words will make it different....

 

[NC_BBC]

Short answer....

Straight (not bi, or bi-curious) guys....do not....hook up with guys. That's a contradiction to the term HETEROSEXUAL...

 

[johndeereboy]

I think that if a guy hooked up with another guy simply because he was open to it, then found out he didn't like it and never did it again, he would still be considered straight. I guess I'm seeing if others think this is possible.

 

[johndeereboy]

Thanks Playerking, thats what I am talking about.

 

[socalfreak]

No. I haven't. ...... and wouldn't.
But,I have had several offers from guys on this site who list themselves as "100% straight" ....

 

[185248]

I did once, a long time ago, it was most enjoyable. Am I straight, mostly. Even the earth has curves.

 

[NIMBUS]

As has been said many times, it all depends upon your personal perception of where the boundaries lie. There's no hard and fast, despite what some of the dictators on this site assert.

Personally, I have never had penetrative sex with another guy, nor have I ever wanted to. So, straight then. Except that I don't have any hang ups about masturbating with another guy, on the odd occasion when the situation has arisen. So, probably not in some people's eyes.

That said, I've seen videos and cam4 sessions of army lads fooling around, which have included them playing with each others dicks, even sticking a soft one in their mouths, pissing on each other, jacking off together and loads of very homoerotic things. Call these guys anything other than straight and they'd probably give you a damned good kicking. They'd say it's just drunken fooling around.

 

[554279]

I think there are a lot of factors involved however in general terms "No". A guy that is regularly looking to become involved with other men is probably not straight.

On the other hand if you had a blowjob once at some point or jerked off in a mutual with another guy at one time, you may have engaged in a gay or bi act. I think it is possible for that same individual to be 100% straight after they decide that they do not want to regularly pursue the activities as a life style.

I think the 100% Straight and 100% Gay crowds need to get off the mantra that some one is one way or the other when a young man experiments as he matures and develops.

I use the term young man because generally I believe that as a man you reach a point in life where you know exactly what you like, don't like, the pitfalls and the benefits of all situations.

Going through life with wife number two, I frequently ask myself why put up with this shit. Then I think about the alternatives; I love pussy but another woman would be more of the same shit from a different crazy person, a guy besides the obvious of lacking a pussy would be a reflection of all the shit I don't like about myself times two with the added baggage that comes with being gay and finally like most people I don't like being by myself and one can only jerk off so many times before the hand falls asleep.



I don't believe in absolutes with anything.

 

[Smaccoms]

I'm surprised after going through the same questions SO many times, members continue trying to approach the problem from the same perspective. Isn't it fairly obvious by now that the gender and/or sex identity of a person is not necessarily a determining factor when considering the strength of attraction between two individuals?

Sure, there are plenty of people who think in such simple and unrealistic terms such as females are for sex and males are for everything else (i.e. the gender binary and everything that means in full).

Moving past that, we can realize that there are CLEARLY people who don't think in such a simplistic manner. Trying to force them into one doesn't answer any questions. There is this ridiculous perception that if you are "straight" or "gay", you must be attracted to ALL females or ALL males (respectively). In all honesty, this is part of what the sexual binary means. Even if you think of it more as a "spectrum", there will always be those who simplify it to a binary.

If you truly want to eradicate this simplistic and unrealistic approach, you MUST consider other approaches. Personally, I grew up as gay. Sure, that means I often find pleasure in observing other males.
But that doesn't necessarily mean I am attracted to every single one of those males. I believe attraction cannot be separated into sexual and platonic categories, among whatever else. If you are attracted to someone, there is something in that person you consider important for whatever reason. I say explore that attraction; what does it mean and where does it come from? That is the start of most relationships (any kind of relationship, not just the romantic ones) if you ask me. If, upon answering those questions, you find there is a mutual attraction, then you should be open-minded enough to explore the possibilities present. Consider what both parties involved want and/or need and move forward from there.

From that point, most people again reference the gender and sexual binary. However, if you ignore that and consider the possibilities you may be pleasantly surprised. You should ask yourself the question, "Am I attracted to a specific sex identity, or a person?" If you reject someone's more intimate attraction toward for no other reason than that they are the "wrong sex", than you might want to re-examine your priorities. If you reject those intimate attractions for reasons you consider legitimate and valid, then you might not regret anything of it when you grow older. Good for you. Personally, I like to explain to myself (and/or maybe a close friend who cares) why those reasons are legitimate.

I did this when I still considered referencing the gender and sexual binary as a legitimate reason for rejecting someone, and I found myself coming to radical conclusions that changed my life. After going through this process for years, I found myself entering into a pansexual identity. This post describes much of the process for me, but not all of it. I find that it has helped me understand my relationships with other people in far greater detail; I'm not left alone at the end of the day with unsatisfactory answers for why I am alone in the first place.

I come back after going through all of that to threads like this and I laugh to myself. All of you seem to successfully beat around the bush endless. None of the right questions are asked; any critically thinking that does occur doesn't push the discussion forward whatsoever. To quote a favorite movie of mine, "It is useless to push your cards sideways." I feel this quote applies to what I am talking about here quite well.

 

[twoton]

I have never, not once, had a sexual experience of any kind with a male. This includes: masturbation, circle jerks, blow jobs, frottage, touching, comparing, anal sex...

 

[554279]

I'm surprised after going through the same questions SO many times, members continue trying to approach the problem from the same perspective. Isn't it fairly obvious by now that the gender and/or sex identity of a person is not necessarily a determining factor when considering the strength of attraction between two individuals?

Sure, there are plenty of people who think in such simple and unrealistic terms such as females are for sex and males are for everything else (i.e. the gender binary and everything that means in full).

Moving past that, we can realize that there are CLEARLY people who don't think in such a simplistic manner. Trying to force them into one doesn't answer any questions. There is this ridiculous perception that if you are "straight" or "gay", you must be attracted to ALL females or ALL males (respectively). In all honesty, this is part of what the sexual binary means. Even if you think of it more as a "spectrum", there will always be those who simplify it to a binary.

If you truly want to eradicate this simplistic and unrealistic approach, you MUST consider other approaches. Personally, I grew up as gay. Sure, that means I often find pleasure in observing other males.
But that doesn't necessarily mean I am attracted to every single one of those males. I believe attraction cannot be separated into sexual and platonic categories, among whatever else. If you are attracted to someone, there is something in that person you consider important for whatever reason. I say explore that attraction; what does it mean and where does it come from? That is the start of most relationships (any kind of relationship, not just the romantic ones) if you ask me. If, upon answering those questions, you find there is a mutual attraction, then you should be open-minded enough to explore the possibilities present. Consider what both parties involved want and/or need and move forward from there.

From that point, most people again reference the gender and sexual binary. However, if you ignore that and consider the possibilities you may be pleasantly surprised. You should ask yourself the question, "Am I attracted to a specific sex identity, or a person?" If you reject someone's more intimate attraction toward for no other reason than that they are the "wrong sex", than you might want to re-examine your priorities. If you reject those intimate attractions for reasons you consider legitimate and valid, then you might not regret anything of it when you grow older. Good for you. Personally, I like to explain to myself (and/or maybe a close friend who cares) why those reasons are legitimate.

I did this when I still considered referencing the gender and sexual binary as a legitimate reason for rejecting someone, and I found myself coming to radical conclusions that changed my life. After going through this process for years, I found myself entering into a pansexual identity. This post describes much of the process for me, but not all of it. I find that it has helped me understand my relationships with other people in far greater detail; I'm not left alone at the end of the day with unsatisfactory answers for why I am alone in the first place.

I come back after going through all of that to threads like this and I laugh to myself. All of you seem to successfully beat around the bush endless. None of the right questions are asked; any critically thinking that does occur doesn't push the discussion forward whatsoever. To quote a favorite movie of mine, "It is useless to push your cards sideways." I feel this quote applies to what I am talking about here quite well.

I agree with you on some points, however

1) You are a young man
2) Life is not a "process" or a "model"
3) Peoples feelings are not science projects

Life is short live it to the best of your ability and have a good time doing it

 

[Smaccoms]

I agree with you on some points, however

1) You are a young man
2) Life is not a "process" or a "model"
3) Peoples feelings are not science projects

Life is short live it to the best of your ability and have a good time doing it

I think of age as a simple number. Age does not automatically equate experience. Some younger folk have more valuable experience than other older folk. I dated a guy for 2 weeks who is 8 years my senior. However, when we met he had just come out of the closet. I on the other hand, had been out of the closet for about 9 years. I definitely had a more sophisticated understanding of myself than he.

Life is a journey; the term "process" I would say is quite similar in meaning here. The destination is not the focus of life because almost nothing about life is concrete. By the time you actually REACH that destination you had in mind, it most likely would have changed meaning. Such an understanding can therefore be quite chaotic, typically meaning an unsatisfactory experience for those involved.
Take for example the man who focuses on nothing else but becoming king (i.e. the destination). By the time he reaches it, the position becomes meaningless and he jaded; he realizes the steps he took to get there (i.e. the journey) were not steps he enjoyed partaking. Now he understands how he wasted most of his life as a result.

While peoples' feelings are not science projects, they do require some level of analysis. The end game of the analysis I put myself through is to understand human sexuality and how it functions to bind us all together. Also, I thoroughly enjoy the process of analysis, which is why you see coordinating what analysis I HAVE done here, and else where.

Personally, I entirely reject the idea of gay versus straight on any and all levels (including the "spectrum" idea). We are not maturing into becoming "mostly straight" or "mostly gay". These concepts apply to the sex and relationships we experience NOT the human identity each individual has. The values we as individuals hold most dear may express themselves most strongly in a person we would not initially consider attractive whatsoever. It is through our connection with these specific people that our attraction to them becomes clear. This applies to ALL humans; not just the males and females. Thus I believe it's perfectly possible for someone who grew up feeling sexually aroused only by females may end up romantically partnered with a male. It is too easy to confuse the simplicity of a sexual experience (homosexual or heterosexual) with the complexity of human connection and identity (bisexual, pansexual, asexual, multisexual, aromantic, etc).

I enjoy this topic so much I have highly considered turning it into something more professional. I'm not ready to step in the professional side of my life yet though; I am too young. I will admit I am still building onto the understanding I already posses. It's fascinating! Also, to emphasize my point about age as just a number, there is nothing wrong with continuing to build one's understanding of sexuality even into old age. Life is a journey damn it! It doesn't stop until we are dead, and even that is questionable; no one knows for sure what happens afterward. At least, no one I've had the pleasure to talk about it!