Do You Think You Might Regret Your Embrace Of Your Asexuality When You Are Older?

Asexuality is not a choice, as it is not a choice to be gay or straight. Therefore, you can’t “regret” that.

 

If it was a choice, then by definition it wouldn’t be asexuality. Asexual means you have no attraction or no desire for sexual activity. It’s not that you’re choosing to be celibate

 

Everybody on the spectrum can have sex, even aromantic people.

 

Which spectrum do you mean?

 

As a demisexual, I don’t “regret” being wired this way, at all.
I actually have an active sex life at 52.

 

@mallak
Still waiting on “what spectrum do you mean?”

the arc of asexuality?
Autism spectrum disorders?
Other?

 

All respondents must be on the ace spectrum.
You do know other things have spectrums, yes?

 

Some research suggests ASD patients are more likely to be asexual.

 

You’re confusing “celibate” with “asexual”.

I’m quite asexual and have had quite a lot of sex. The two things aren’t related. Though I am fine with not having sex very often, personally… I end up having it far more than I care to at this point because apparently I’m quite sexy.

 

I'm already "older" at 60 by many people's standards. I don't at all regret not having plowed every willing female. Instead I embrace being demisexual and only being sexually attracted to whomever I'm in a romantic relationship with.

 

“No” is a complete sentence, my friend.

 

Agreeing at almost 53.
I listen to my guy talk about the relationships where his emotional/mental attraction wasn’t that involved and he seems to almost regret wasting the time. And he’s not ace at all.

 

It’s the sunglasses. It’s always the sunglasses.

 

Of course, but I am not sex repulsed and it’s important to my partner so I do it despite not needing it myself.

 

I get that.
I file that under Good, Giving, Game.
I do crave connection, and his preferred way is physical.
I want him happy, so off we go.

 

...ouch! I'm in my late 30s and I felt that.

I don't experience sexual attraction but I do experience romantic and aesthetic attraction. I can safely say, from experience, that being middle-aged/senior is not a death sentence for your attractiveness.

 

I resonate with the term. people as art, I say.

also, a side question, when is someone “older?” Does it change with gender or sexuality?

 

Not exactly. The model I tend to use has four main types of attraction (but it's just a model so ofc there's room for exceptions, nuance, etc).

Sexual - when you want to have sex with a perso.
Romantic - when you want to be in a loving relationship with a person.
Platonic - when you want to spend time with the person as a friend.
Aesthetic - when you just think the person is really nice to look at.

That list is from least common to most common in terms of my own experience. And not everyone has to be just one category, the form(s) of attraction can change.

Tbh, it's learning about this more granular approach to attraction that helped me to unpack my own feelings and realise I'm basically ace. Maybe a little bit grey.

 

Fair.

I would want to add that not feeling attractive in yourself doesn't mean you aren't attractive to other people

That said I appreciate self confidence can be a big factor in forming relationships.

Romantically and aesthetically I skew towards older people, and that's still the case in my late 30s.

 

Again, very fair and I'd agree

I guess if I were to tell someone I'd be less... clinical about it and tell them I think they're pretty?

Edit: fyi your comment almost made me snort coffee out my nose