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Does Sex Make A Relationship (for You)?
- Thread starter TrueB2
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I suppose it depends on your partner. At some point in our lives, sex will become less important and love and companionship will need to take a bigger role.
Sex is an important part of a long term adult romantic relationship. Especially early, good sex can get a couple through the bumpy parts. Once your lives and souls are intertwined, sex can taper off without jeopardizing the relationship.
Over our 30+ year marriage, sex would wax and wane, ebb and flow. Illness and debility eventually took sex off the table in the years before she passed.
I wouldn't begin a new romance if I knew sex was permanently off limits.
Over our 30+ year marriage, sex would wax and wane, ebb and flow. Illness and debility eventually took sex off the table in the years before she passed.
I wouldn't begin a new romance if I knew sex was permanently off limits.
It dosent "make" the relationship, but bad/no sex can definitely break the relationship.
sex is another form of communication in an adult relationship with a lot of added intimacy in the mix; if you get to know your partner's body and he/she yours in that way and you share that level of deep intimacy with another it can add a lot of layers to a relationship. and whilst sex won't 'make' a relationship, for me, if not for others, it is a vital component.
cofrader
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Very important for me.
What do you want from a long therm relationship for? If you don’t want sex perhaps a good friend would be enough.
I can be in a bad relationship, but be having good sex, but I can't be in a good relationship with bad sex.
As others have said, sex is a form of communication. To me, my partner should listen to me in bed, and respond to me, as I should for him. The occasional mis-step is to be expected, but if the sex is significantly lacking, then the relationship is missing a key component.
As others have said, sex is a form of communication. To me, my partner should listen to me in bed, and respond to me, as I should for him. The occasional mis-step is to be expected, but if the sex is significantly lacking, then the relationship is missing a key component.
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I'm not saying I hate sex or anything, but i don't want to feel like a relationship is 80% sex and 20% everything else for example. For some people sex seems too important, in my opinion. As long as someone helps me grow mentally and makes me wanna be a better person i'd be happy. Sex or no sex.
cofrader
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If to be answered you want, that question must you ask.
The particle a on the beginning of words usually means none nothing absence of.
For the new question when you find the right woman you will get much more. But still sustaining that sex is a great cement for all the other bricks.
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Sex makes a relationship sexual. Which changes everything.
spaj8987
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I definitely consider sex a prerequisite to a long term relationship, it is ome of the main pillars necessary to make a relationship go further than platonic.
I wish I could say other aspects of a relationship could outweigh sex but they dont; if a partner for whatever reason feels the need to remove sex from the table, then they should expect a proportional restriction of romantic intimacy and emotional vulnerability from me until the sex issue is resolved.. I feel it a bit unfair for someone to expect to get romantic and emotional capital out of someone else, when they have no onus, really no ingrained or unconsitional desire to be sexually intimate...if you want to be asexual then go find somebody that wants to be asexual right along with you, and leave the heterosexual alone or be prepared to open up the relationship for someone willing to do what you cannot or dont want to do.
I wish I could say other aspects of a relationship could outweigh sex but they dont; if a partner for whatever reason feels the need to remove sex from the table, then they should expect a proportional restriction of romantic intimacy and emotional vulnerability from me until the sex issue is resolved.. I feel it a bit unfair for someone to expect to get romantic and emotional capital out of someone else, when they have no onus, really no ingrained or unconsitional desire to be sexually intimate...if you want to be asexual then go find somebody that wants to be asexual right along with you, and leave the heterosexual alone or be prepared to open up the relationship for someone willing to do what you cannot or dont want to do.
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So what you're saying is sex IS the relstionship? My problem with this whole "sex is required for long term relationships" is that you make it sound like it is the only thing that benefits you in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I get it. But there's more than just sex to experience love and intimacy in my opinion. But to each their own
Also, your statement is ignorant. "If you want to be Asexual then go find someone that wants to be asexual right along with you" Yeah. I "choose" to never be in a relationship because I don't want to deprive anyone of their sexual needs. Such a fun choice... I mean if you want to have sex and be heterosexual then go find someone who want to be heterosexual right along with you.
(No hate intended btw.)
It's not the only thing but it is an essential thing, that's the point I was trying to make. You dont drive a car because of its doors, and in all honesty doors are not intrinsically required to transport you from place to place... But most people have doors, require them as a part of their vehicle purchase, and so on and so forth..be pretty weird to say to them, " what, lateral protection from other vehicles and the elements is all transportation is for you?"
As far as the second sentiment, I sense a bit of bitterness at your "fun choice" as if you dont have a multitude of choices at your disposal from the asexual or even sexual variety. I get that your asexuality may not be a choice but how And whom you choose to practice it with in a fulfilling relationship definitely is.
Something tells me sex in relationship is very important to you for long term success; not sex with you, rather them not having sex with anyone else either, would that be accurate?
I'd rather be alone than be in a relationship with no sex.
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Lol it's not bitterness, don't worry. And I'm just saying if sex is the only way you can be in a long term, commited relationship then what's the point? I'd rather be out travelling, hiking, exercising, etc. With a significant other. Yes, you can do that with a friend, obviously. You can also have sex with a friend, but somethings are better experienced with someone you deeply love. Sex or no sex.
Different situation, but i'll still add it. On one of the recent episodes of The Good Doctor, a woman had the choice of either A.) Get surgery, but wouldn't be able to have sex again (Something along those lines) or B.) Every time she had sex she had the possibility of having a seizure (along those lines) and her and her boyfriend wanted to take their chances without the surgery because they felt that sex was their only bond. The boyfriend was scared that their would be no relationship without sex. Eventually she did get the surgery though. Not all that relevant, I know. But i only brought it up because saying sex is the glue that keeps a relationship isn't saying much about the relationship. Sure it's a bonding experience and can be a beautiful thing, but if you found the perfect person the elusive "the one and only" and they didn't want to have sex would you really throw away that happiness without at least trying to find other ways to bond?
With all that said, I am not opposed to having sex. I'm quite indifferent towards it. A sexless relationship would be ideal, but im not sex-repulsed, so I would have sex (or at least try it) for the sake of a relationship.
Thats interesting.
For me wanting to have sex with someone is part of the first attraction. That sensual vibe, the thrill... It's not just about sex but about eroticism. About coming together, in more ways than one. And about fun.
I think @Sagittarius does have a point. It would be nice when you and your partner are on the same page, on the same level. I wouldn't like it if we were getting into a relationship and you had sex for any other reason than that you wanted me sexually.
