Ever bumped into a "straight" acquaintance/friend on the DL?

[Growing123]

I spotted someone that I know-ish (friend of a friend) at a urinal looking very suspect. I walked in and am fairly sure that he was on the DL. The other guy zipped up fairly quick when I walked into toilet. When the acquaintance saw me he was really mortified and started talking urgently. It was clear that they were up to something. He is married with children. I acted as if I suspected nothing and made a few minutes of small talk. Except that I couldn't pee as i felt nervous with stage fright so just stood there feeling embarrassed with no flow sounds. It became uncomfortable. Then I zipped up without peeing and washed my hands.

Tonight I'm thinking about what happened. I never suspected that he liked guys. He is also very responsible and respectable so cruising was a shock. Has this ever happened to you before and how did you handle it? I will never discuss this with him again and will play dumb.

 

[jdphnx]

I was cruising A4A back in my undergrad days and came across the profile of a graduate student in our department. He was the last type I’d ever expect to see on a gay cruising site: very scholarly, introverted, nerdy. His only picture was his bare upper torso and face. We exchanged a few messages, anonymously, before I said something about “you’d probably recognize me”. I never saw him on A4A again, or any other site. I felt bad about it.

 

[Stumpjumper310]

I was cruising A4A back in my undergrad days and came across the profile of a graduate student in our department. He was the last type I’d ever expect to see on a gay cruising site: very scholarly, introverted, nerdy. His only picture was his bare upper torso and face. We exchanged a few messages, anonymously, before I said something about “you’d probably recognize me”. I never saw him on A4A again, or any other site. I felt bad about it.

Yeah not a great idea with a power imbalance. I have to be very careful and ask a lot of questions before meeting.

 

[theplayerking]

I was cruising A4A back in my undergrad days and came across the profile of a graduate student in our department. He was the last type I’d ever expect to see on a gay cruising site: very scholarly, introverted, nerdy. His only picture was his bare upper torso and face. We exchanged a few messages, anonymously, before I said something about “you’d probably recognize me”. I never saw him on A4A again, or any other site. I felt bad about it.

If you find someone you know on an app I find it’s best to start flirting in real life. Guys on the down low usually freak out if they’re recognized on an app.

 

[Inputpower1]

I spotted someone that I know-ish (friend of a friend) at a urinal looking very suspect. I walked in and am fairly sure that he was on the DL. The other guy zipped up fairly quick when I walked into toilet. When the acquaintance saw me he was really mortified and started talking urgently. It was clear that they were up to something. He is married with children. I acted as if I suspected nothing and made a few minutes of small talk. Except that I couldn't pee as i felt nervous with stage fright so just stood there feeling embarrassed with no flow sounds. It became uncomfortable. Then I zipped up without peeing and washed my hands.

Tonight I'm thinking about what happened. I never suspected that he liked guys. He is also very responsible and respectable so cruising was a shock. Has this ever happened to you before and how did you handle it? I will never discuss this with him again and will play dumb.

How I handle it depends on how I feel about him. I would never “out” him or tell your mutual friend. If he is someone I want to be friends with, I would befriend him. I wouldn’t bring up your suspicions, but you obviously have some things in common. If you are attracted to him or want to fool around, now you know that is a possibility with this guy.

 

[Marriedinkansas]

I spotted someone that I know-ish (friend of a friend) at a urinal looking very suspect. I walked in and am fairly sure that he was on the DL. The other guy zipped up fairly quick when I walked into toilet. When the acquaintance saw me he was really mortified and started talking urgently. It was clear that they were up to something. He is married with children. I acted as if I suspected nothing and made a few minutes of small talk. Except that I couldn't pee as i felt nervous with stage fright so just stood there feeling embarrassed with no flow sounds. It became uncomfortable. Then I zipped up without peeing and washed my hands.

Tonight I'm thinking about what happened. I never suspected that he liked guys. He is also very responsible and respectable so cruising was a shock. Has this ever happened to you before and how did you handle it? I will never discuss this with him again and will play dumb.

I wish it would