I think the major contributor to stereotype reinforcement are tv shows and movies. Gay characters are commonly portrayed as feminine, conflicted, struggling with HIV and coming out or some girl's bff. It's just lazy writing.
Flamboyant gays
- Thread starter Dustin Berry
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alcor972
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...
you're brave, dustin... I admire you...
... since your coming out is recent... their reaction is rather common and expected...
... this almost means nothing for what will follow thereafter...
... my father reacted similarily to what stephen has described... but now... we have understood that our relationhip is more important than the fact I'm gay... and I don't feel his anger anymore toward me...
you're brave, dustin... I admire you...
... since your coming out is recent... their reaction is rather common and expected...
... this almost means nothing for what will follow thereafter...
... my father reacted similarily to what stephen has described... but now... we have understood that our relationhip is more important than the fact I'm gay... and I don't feel his anger anymore toward me...
And hopefully in time you'll grow more and more into less judgement of yourself and others because you can be who you want to be, whatever that might be. The take home? Gay men (and all the rest of the LGBTQI community) should be able to express themselves in whatever way they please -- exactly the same as straight people. If that means acting fem, why not? Who are you to denounce it? If that means coming across as macho man, why not? If that means being exactly who they feel they are, why not? Gurlfriend.
I'm probably called "fem" in many circles. But I don't describe myself to any certain label. I am a young, attractive gay man. And I carry a bag on a daily basis. I get more compliments on my Michael kors than I get shitty looks. Ppl hate on the unknown. If they don't understand something they cry out about it! Just because I walk in to the store looking better that your wife and rocking a bag that's worth more than your car doesn't mean anything. I don't want your husband. I don't want your life. I'm just doing me and I'm just fine with that. Fem or masc or not I'm good. I'm golden actually! All I have to say to haters of any thing is "bye Felecia "
It's a great day to day bag. I'm not terribly impressed with the quality to be honest but I am not taking my Louie or Gucci out in the rainBut, Michael Kors, seriously?!
Walktheplank
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it's a real shame that people think that they have the right to judge you because their straight...people really think that's it, that's all that God wants...no not at all, God wants people to be good people that's it, and by casting you out and calling you an abomination they have failed to be good people and accept you for who you are.
Keep the door open for them to come around. They may or may not in time but let it be there choice if they want to be part of your true life. Family is important but remember you will be happiest when you can be yourself and don't accept anything less.
Remember you can choose your friends. Not your family. Surround yourself with people full of love and light. Eventually the others may come around. Even if they don't then remember you are beautiful in every single way. (Cliche I know but still true) just focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be! Thats all that any of us can hope to be.
alcor972
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... and it is possible that their anger may significantly decrease thereafter... this is what happened to me... ... their reaction is not well established yet...
... it's just the beginning of a longer process, dustin...
don't be rude with you... but don't be rude with them too...
we have the right to be happy being homosexual...
... but they have the right to be surprised and primarily disappointed because of this...
they shouldn't judge us... but we shouldn't judge them as well...
I wish you the best, dustin...
and thank you again for your question...
... it's just the beginning of a longer process, dustin...
don't be rude with you... but don't be rude with them too...
we have the right to be happy being homosexual...
... but they have the right to be surprised and primarily disappointed because of this...
they shouldn't judge us... but we shouldn't judge them as well...
I wish you the best, dustin...
and thank you again for your question...
Every person is allowed an opinion. That is basic human rights. I'm not saying you aren't allowed to be disappointed by something but there is a difference in disappointment and oppression. I can be sad that the mcrib isn't back but if I take a stance against McDonalds over said mcrib that's a whole different story. So we all should probably just sit down. Have a white wine spritzer and chill....
Auggiecakes
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First and foremost, I'm glad your safe after coming out. its not easy fore everyone and sometimes it's best to hold off on it until you know you can be safe. I know it contradicts what everyone says but now we need to think about safety. You never really know how people are going to react so anyways I'm glad you're safe.
Second of all thank you for standing up and honoring the folks from Orlando.
And lastly, yes move out. Get away from anyone who isn't going to love and support you unconditionally. My good ol grama said once "when you go out into the world, keep everyone at an arms length and cover yourself in Vaseline; that way the the hate and evil that still reaches you will slide right off."
Be as masculine or as feminine as you want to be, do what makes you happy and follow your heart, but the only demand, rule that we have is to always get back up, become as successful as we can be; that's our revenge; happiness and success.
Auggiecakes
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I could totally go for mimosa right now. I'm hung over and hungry.
Ya, I got several good friends like this, thouroughly enjoy them. And we've gone cruising together, had some good times...I like the feminine flamboyant ones, they usually submit their ass to me quite nicely
Dustin - I'm sorry for what you are going through. It is difficult. It takes a while but it does get better. Right now you're adjusting to the weight of that closet being off of you. The light of day is a strange sensation. Given time your family may start to come around. The shock of the "secret" takes a little time to get used to.
Family is important, but there is more to family than the people you were born to, more to family than the people who raised you. Your real family is the one that you make yourself, that loves you for who you are and the love you have to give.
Sometimes people cannot love us the way we need to be loved. That's hard too, but people are victims of the limitations they were raised into and you cannot let that limit who you are.
Good luck, be strong.
Family is important, but there is more to family than the people you were born to, more to family than the people who raised you. Your real family is the one that you make yourself, that loves you for who you are and the love you have to give.
Sometimes people cannot love us the way we need to be loved. That's hard too, but people are victims of the limitations they were raised into and you cannot let that limit who you are.
Good luck, be strong.
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