SmallTeaPlant, you and I have talked about this numerous times already.
While my "opposing side" is chastising and accusing homoflexibles and gay experimenters (in porn, of all places) of being the "ruin of gay men", what it ("opposing" side) has completely disregarded time and again is the fact that many of us homoflexibles, bisexuals, transexuals, pansexuals, etc. have also lived through the same painful historic struggle as you did; to gain rights and to spread awareness. (Some of us even went through the tried-and-failed ex-gay conversion processes ourselves! Just as much as 100% gays did.)
We share every bit in your stress and negative impact when something hurts our LGBT rights or sets us back.
What makes it completely difficult for us is when you focus so much on political image, you become single-mindedly obsessed with trivial things that shouldn't matter (specifically, gay guys who proudly announce that they are self-acceptingly gay, couldn't be happier than to be gay, but also are confident in themselves enough to experiment with women... in porn... of all places...); and use those as some excuse to cast us aside. All you've done is created disunity and aggravated our divide. By pointing fingers at us, you've ultimately exacerbated the very issue you were meaning to alleviate.