No, I'm not offended at all. I was being a little bit sarcastic and a little bit truthful. I am genuinely lucky that my list of turnoffs is not as long as yours seems to be.
Personally, I don't think beards have anything to do with gay conformism, it's rather a fashion trend. In the 1800s all men (straight and -closeted- gays alike) used to grow ridiculously long and curly beards and mustaches, then beards went out of fashion for a long time. I remember how in the 90s and 2000s most guys were clean shaved and the few beards you saw here and there were mostly grandpas. Recently (the last decade or so) beards have made a comeback and I personally like them. I know just as many straight as gay guys who grow beards now, so idk where this "conformist in gay society" comes from, it's just fashion that comes and goes.
You could say something similar about tattoos and how they've become more fashionable lately. I don't like them particularly, but as long as they don't cover half the dude's body or more, I can simply ignore them and focus on the action. Would you call that conformism too?