Fwb Relationships: Experiences And Questions

[Clean Cut and Hung]

I’m curious about experiences with FWB relationships.

Sometimes when I hear someone talk about a friend with benefits, to me they are talking about a fuck buddy — ie, a familiar person with whom they only get together to have sex.

To me a FWB is a friend with whom you do a lot of stuff and occasionally have sex.

Years ago, I had a friend for a couple of years. We hung out a lot, talked about everything, went hiking, played tennis, worked out together, ate dinner and watched movies at each other’s place, went to bars and parties. Because we worked out together at the same gym we saw each other naked many times in the locker room (this was pre towel dance days).

We dated and hooked up with other guys.

On six occasions he and I had sex. We jacked off, stroked each other, sucked each other’s cock and balls, 69’d and kissed (lightly, I wouldn’t say we made out). Twice we swallowed each other’s load. We never rimmed each other or fucked. Never had a sleepover. This kind of friendship was a first for both of us. I relocated to another city and we lost touch. I have never had a friend like that since.

How would others categorize this friendship — FWB or friends who had sex a few times?

Have others had similar FWB relationships? Or were they mostly FB’s? If FWB, did you have sex frequently or just a few times? How was the sex? Other than the sex, did you feel a different kind of friendship with the person compared to your other friends? (I have several close friends now who are good looking but I have no desire to have sex with them.)

Have you had a FWB? Was/were your experiences similar or different than mine? If so, how?

 

[curtdude]

I did have this friend I knew from high school we met up one day and she invited me over to her place. we grabbed a pizza had some small talk. she said out of the blue that in high school there was only 2 guys she wanted to have sex with one was Peter the other was me. we talked some more and she again asked about having sex with me. I really did not want a girlfriend . relationship with her so I told her it would cost her $100 if we had sex. she looked at me and agreed. put the money on the table and took me to her room. the sex was awsome. she called me a few more times and we had sex from time to time without pay it went on for a few years until she found a boyfriend. I have to admit it was one of the best blow jobs I ever received

I did not want a relationship with her we talked it was just businesx

 

[deleted848353]

Fwb and fuck buddies are 2 different things. A fuck buddy is someone who you just meet for sex whereas fwb is someone who you fuck and hang out with. I've had both types of relationships preferred the fuck buddy one thou

 

[Clean Cut and Hung]

Fwb and fuck buddies are 2 different things. A fuck buddy is someone who you just meet for sex whereas fwb is someone who you fuck and hang out with. I've had both types of relationships preferred the fuck buddy one thou

Why?

 

[deleted2780451]

I agree with you, there's a big difference between a FB and a FWB.

I have a FWB by your definition now. We have a mutual friend circle and he and I were just hanging out platonically for about a week and then we got drunk at a bar and ended up hooking up in his car in the parking lot and now we still hang out, but if we're both horny on any given day, he loves getting his cock sucked and I love sucking cock, so why not?

 

[SamMann75]

In high school and in college, all over 18, there were 2 separate girls.

We were friends, hung out with the same people went to the same parties. Would watch movies together. In groups and just the two of us.

From time to time when neither of us had a boyfriend/girlfriend, they'd give me a blow job, then have me give them oral. They both said my dick was too small to satisfy them, but some times after giving them several orgasms with oral, they'd let me fuck them. I would give them a little orgasm from fucking them which would trigger my orgasm.

 

[lapdog2001]

I had a true FWB relationship, which I've referenced numerous times here in LPSG over the years. Short version: We were friends and hung out together doing all the things friends do. I told her from day one that I was attracted to her and interested in a relationship with her, but she saw me only as a friend. That was okay, and we spent the next year as good, close, friends. It changed one day when she was cold and I got a blanket, sat right next to her, and covered us both up. She leaned into me, and appreciated me warming her up.

She was going to crash on my couch that night, as she had done many times before, but this time, I gave her a hug, then kissed her. The moans told me to continue to kiss her and very quickly our hands were all over each other. Groping turned to me fingering her to orgasm, and her stroking me. The next morning we picked up where we left off, and finally had intercourse.

Once we crossed that sexual line, we continued to be friends, continued to hang out, only to add lots of sex to the things we did together. There were times we stopped when we were seeing other people, but anytime we were both single, or at least not exclusive with other people, we always made time to include sex in our hangout time together.

 

[Ms.M]

For me fuck buddy = just get in touch to have sex. FWB, we socialized some on top of sex. Partook in some shared hobbies, ordered pizza and watched some tv shows. That kind of shit. Both were folk I got together with multiple times. Still no strings, though. If someone wanted to go date a person I just deleted their number. Both can be nice. Some dudes get clingy as fuck, which was a massive nope.

Have had sex with folk who were friend and then no sex at a later date. Friendships have been fine. Except for the time an asshole used me to cheat on a girlfriend. That whole social circle burned to the fuckin' ground.

 

[marriedasian]

friends-with-benefits (FWB) is nothing more than a nice way of labeling a fuck buddy. there's not a lot of people who are willing to do one night stands and instant hookups so they first want to get to know the person enough to qualify them as a "friend" before the sex happens, hence calling it "friends"-with-benefits. this is the core of where the term came from.

now what the OP is talking about is more friendship than benefit because when you hang out more than you fuck, it's no longer a FWB or fuck buddy situation. it's really a friendship that you have with the other person. you just occasionally fuck each other inside the friendship. it's no different than calling up your buddy and asking him to go to the shooting range. it's just that in this case, you call him up and asking him to get in bed with you.

the misunderstanding is when we put more or less value on sex than we do other things that we do within a friendship. some people believe that true friendship should never involve sex while others believe that it should or can. it's your life so you can set your own boundaries. it doesn't change the fact that if friend-time exceeds fuck-time then it's no longer a FWB or fuck buddy situation.

lastly, there's a huge danger when it comes to what the OP is referring to and that danger comes from the dependency of your relationship status. if you're single then you just have a good friendship with another person that you have sex with. if you're in a relationship then you now have a good friendship and cheating on your partner. if you're married then you now have a good friendship and an affair partner. the dynamics change a whole lot here.

either way, define your boundaries. i will say one last thing though, if you're sharing personal life stuff with this person you're having sex with (i.e. your workplace drama, your family dramas, how shitty your day was, etc.) then it's no longer a FWB and sooner or later, either one of you or both of you will catch feelings.

 

[Ms.M]

friends-with-benefits (FWB) is nothing more than a nice way of labeling a fuck buddy.

Maybe for you, but there was a clear difference between the people I talked with and confirmed they would be respectful and had similar taste in sex and we would get together and fuck... and the person I occasionally ordered take out and then fucked, but still didn't care if they found a girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever. I absolutely have had friends that I had sex with and the friendship originated around interest in fucking. There is also a clear difference between people that I was friends with for years, we chose to have sex, and then remained friends afterwards too. There's more than just black or white.

 

[marriedasian]

Maybe for you, but there was a clear difference between the people I talked with and confirmed they would be respectful and had similar taste in sex and we would get together and fuck... and the person I occasionally ordered take out and then fucked, but still didn't care if they found a girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever. I absolutely have had friends that I had sex with and the friendship originated around interest in fucking. There is also a clear difference between people that I was friends with for years, we chose to have sex, and then remained friends afterwards too. There's more than just black or white.

thank you for supporting everything i just said with your examples. i never said it was black and white. it's very grey hence my long-winded explanation.

 

[lapdog2001]

friends-with-benefits (FWB) is nothing more than a nice way of labeling a fuck buddy. there's not a lot of people who are willing to do one night stands and instant hookups so they first want to get to know the person enough to qualify them as a "friend" before the sex happens, hence calling it "friends"-with-benefits. this is the core of where the term came from.

now what the OP is talking about is more friendship than benefit because when you hang out more than you fuck, it's no longer a FWB or fuck buddy situation. it's really a friendship that you have with the other person. you just occasionally fuck each other inside the friendship. it's no different than calling up your buddy and asking him to go to the shooting range. it's just that in this case, you call him up and asking him to get in bed with you.

We can agree to disagree, then. To me a FB (Fuck Buddy) is someone with whom you get together with for the sole purpose of having sex. I.e. a Booty Call, etc. You don't hang out, or have any kind of friendship relationship, you just get together to fuck.

Yes, a FWB (Friends With Benefits) relationship can be more that just being friends, and yes it can be messy. Mine was for a while. I did have feelings and she didn't reciprocate (at first) even though we continued to include sex almost every time we saw each other. Our relationship included sex, it wasn't about having sex. It also wasn't romantic in that we never really kissed, held hands, or did any of the usual "couple in a relationship" things.

We hung out just as we did before, when we were platonic friends, enjoyed each other company, together and among friends. But in the privacy behind closed doors (or the backseat of my car, or the woods, or my office) we had lots of sex. We did discuss our relationship multiple times, and eventually both agreed that we were not destined for marriage or any kind of monogamous and exclusive relationship. We joked to each other that the sexual chemistry between us was just too good to not enjoy it, so that's what we settled on, hanging out as friends, who also enjoyed spending quality time in the bedroom for some mutually satisfying sex.

 

[shady ace]

I have a straight friend from high school who got drunk and asked if I wanted to jerk off with him. He is envious of my dick and sometimes mails me underwear he has worn that he wants me to wear. We've graduated to sucking each other off when I see him. It's an odd relationship, but I care about him so I let him explore his sexuality.

 

[marriedasian]

We can agree to disagree, then.

Agreed.

 

[halcyondays]

There are friends and there are lovers... and never the twain shall meet.

Terms like FB/FWB didn't exist for most of my life. Back in the day we called them lovers.

Friends are platonic. No sex. No romance. No desire for it. If there is desire it's not strong enough to make me want to end our platonic relationship or mess up our friendship group.

Having sex with a friend ALWAYS changes the relationship. It changes intensity. A history of intimacy is introduced. It changes expectations. It changes how I think/feel about a friend. It changes how they think/feel about me. It changes what we want and need from each other. It may change what we ask of each other.

Expectations of exclusiveness may happen even when we've agreed not to be exclusive. When we're at odds it has turned many a lover into an ex-lover. As exes we may or may not maintain contact.

I consider platonic friends family. They're out.

Friends who aren't as close I classify as acquaintances. They aren't connected to the world of family or platonic friends. Most lovers I have/had come from the acquaintance world.

I keep those worlds separate. Perhaps more than anything it keeps their gossip separate.

 

[deleted1074483]

i agree with most others on here that a fb and fwb are two different things. before my current bf i had a fb who became a fwb but never had a fwb who just became a fb.

i've a couple of exs with whom i'm still on friendly terms and when single if we met up and enjoyed a day together it would usually end up with us in bed together, it doesn't define the friendship but the sex is comfortable and enjoyable with none of those usual one night stand issues (nightmare guy, performance anxiety, etc) They've met my bf and he knows we were fwb.

the fb who became a fwb was probably due to the length of time we were seeing each other - he was bi and was clear he'd never fall in 'love' with me, but we enjoyed our company together, although he's had more issues with me finding a partner than i have had with him with a new partner (as in he still regularly messages me for sex).

So i agree/disagree with some of what @halcyondays said - yes it changes the dynamics of a friendship to have sex with one, but they're still my friends to this day, it has made us more 'intimate' as in we trust each other and share more stuff together but (so far) has never been a wider issue of envy or anything.

 

[elklindoxxx]

My partner and I hook up with other couples and I consider them as fuck buddies. I don't consider them as friends. We don't go out and socialize with those people. Our meetings are exclusively for sexual activities. When we get together there is some small talk then the dicks come out and the girls start blowing away to get the session started. And when we are done everybody cleans up we say good bye until the next time then we get out of there. I'm not really too interested doing anything else...

 

[IndianRiverBull]

Fwb and fuck buddies are 2 different things. A fuck buddy is someone who you just meet for sex whereas fwb is someone who you fuck and hang out with. I've had both types of relationships preferred the fuck buddy one thou

Agreed. I would call a fuck buddy a “play partner”. Where as a FWB is someone who you hang out with outside of the bedroom.

 

[theplayerking]

I’ve had fuck buddies that became friends, but the sex usually dried up after a while. It was nice because we could talk about sex and hookups without judgement, which is not always possible with Platonic friends.