Gay Asians -- what has it been like for you?

[bigboaster]

Yeah I'm also Black, but I wouldn't publicly discuss this topic. It's just too personal and too emotional.

There's always someone ready to accuse you of self-hatred or some other shit. It's just exhausting.

I don't know what attracts me to other races. I love my own skin, but I always found interracial couples to be visually interesting. Or even just the mix of different cultures.

With that said, I'd never support writing "no X" on a profile. That's just rude. I understand not wanting to waste time, but it does feel like devaluing people.

I don't disagree with anything you said here. I don't think anyone deserves "hate" for simply expressing their sexual/romantic preferences (as long as it's not done in a rude or bigoted way like you mentioned)

 

[Lee_asian_091]

Worst part is that in the west, I’ve seen a lot of asians do that to other asians. Which is their right to do so, but always found that strange

Yeah that's true! I think it's fine to have preference, but you don't have to show it onour profile. Idk. I might be wrong

 

[plow]

2nd gen. Asian in Europe. Romance has been... difficult, to say the least. Part of it because of internalised self-rejection, in terms of sexual orientation and in terms of race but not only. Part of it because of actual or felt wide-reaching rejection from others, especially if not enjoying the porn-ascribed role of the feminine submissive bottom. Part of it because of the narrow range of remaining people who seem to be available and interested, with in my experience pervasive race fetishism to some extent.

 

[M415m]

Yeah that's true! I think it's fine to have preference, but you don't have to show it onour profile. Idk. I might be wrong

I think it’s not even that. I think if someone mentions in profile, it saves everyone time. But there was a period, and perhaps circumstantial, that every individual’s profile I would come across would almost lean towards anyone but east asian, by even east asians themselves. And that was not just my experience it seems. But as time has gone by, it’s thankfully been a bit different.

On the account of it being almost incestual to be going for a same race, it begs the question why every other race seems to feel that way in this forum, yet I don’t think that would apply as much, if at all, if one was caucasian. And that is not a hit on the caucasians, but rather the opposite.

 

[JiaFei_Dai]

Not gay.
I don't like it, but my face looks more feminine.
I have some selfies on social media, idk, but there are often white men who are not very good at identifying Asians, mistaking me for a tomboy-style woman and then approaching me.
I feel like they have serious yellow fever and treat me like an Asian doll, which scares me.

 

[SFMTtam]

Yeah I'm also Black, but I wouldn't publicly discuss this topic. It's just too personal and too emotional.

There's always someone ready to accuse you of self-hatred or some other shit. It's just exhausting.

I don't know what attracts me to other races. I love my own skin, but I always found interracial couples to be visually interesting. Or even just the mix of different cultures.

With that said, I'd never support writing "no X" on a profile. That's just rude. I understand not wanting to waste time, but it does feel like devaluing people.

And besides the common courtesy of not stating "no X", you never would know who you excluded who might have been your "missing piece". A successful relationship is so much more than an exterior appraisal.
To me, the way a person speaks, their inclinations and talents, a shared history or background, appreciation of difference or similarity all count in finding a partner, though a certain visual appeal may be the first clue..

 

[icefan]

I myself have experienced racism growing up, and I see other Asians tell similar stories. That being said, I do very well for myself now (Asian or not), but I’ve had to work hard with improving myself and in turn, improving my confidence. Self improvement whether it be self love, working on your body, looks, etc really goes a long way.