Ghosting...

[woodz]

Hi, I've been struggling with someone ghosting us for the last 6 months. To be short, we met someone last january. Went, to theater, skating, the woods, and we had the best sex we had in years with a third one. Feelings bloomed and he became, more and more heratic. More or less responding to our textos, and then in june 2023 he just disapeared. He went to his home town (thanks Grindr) which he never mention to us that he wanted to leave the city or us. One week before he left, I was taking a walk and ran into him, holding a puppy in his arms. I was a lot surprise since he never told us that he wanted a dog, plus he had money issues that I helped him with. Lots of questions asked but no real answers. I know this sounds stupid, but I need answers. But the worse is that I still feel for him. Has someone ever been in that type of situation?

 

[armando986]

Sometimes we think we need an explanation, but usually it's better to just move on. He clearly lost interest for you and acted like a prick. The healthier thing to do is to let go

 

[marriedasian]

Ghosting in itself is a way to communicate someone's intentions. You have to look at it as a clear message that the interest is gone. Whatever reason why they chose to tell you this way is not your fault and should not be taken negatively. It's simply their way of telling you they're no longer interested in the relationship.

The reason it bothers us is that we project our own expectations onto them. Just because "ghosting" is wrong or a bad thing to you doesn't mean it's the same to them. I personally think it's a rude thing to do and people should just be clear about their lost-of-interest however I don't get upset over it. I've been ghosted many times and when it happens, I just move on.

You struggling with someone ghosting you is a "you-problem" that you have to work out. The only one suffering from the ghosting is you therefore you need to work through your own emotional responses and sort it out otherwise it will continue to affect you to no end.

The fact that you've been struggling for the past 6 months means you really need to sort this out for your own mental well-being.

 

[Graham123]

Was it just sex or a little more?

It’s sad if you still like the guy and enjoyed the threesome sex but you still have your partner and the one that is true to you. You have such a good fit body and a lovely cock to go with it and I am sure myself I would enjoy playing with both you and your partner but it is only sex and not a three way relationship. Maybe you need to address the thought that maybe you were also falling for him and it wasn’t only just a sexual fling type of situation but something a little deeper to maybe explain the reason why you feel this emotional pain inside of you. You mentioned in your post “feelings bloomed” is that his or yours for him. May be he sensed this and decided to take a back seat? If it is only sex then that is what is was, you enjoyed it at the time and now it’s over. I think guys will be queuing up to play with you both as I would for sure.

Take care stay safe and wish you all the best to you and your partner and consider there is a line between sex and developing relationships and if crossed can be painful for all involved!

Graham

 

[bravesoldier]

I learned about ghosting over the last year, but I was the one who began the ghosting. I didn't just disappear though, I backed off gradually. I was with a guy I really loved for over four years. He was hyper, OCD and talked incessantly. He wore me out talking too much on our first date, (and many others) yet I ended up falling for him. I withstood his personality four years then he dealt the final blow, no pun.. The final blow had to do with fact that he loved cock more than the air he breathed, and in a love relationship that don't work. In love there are boundaries, to me. We had an open relationship, but it definitely was a love relationship. So, he got to where he wouldn't come to visit me for around eight months, yet decided to drive over when a certain hot, young stud near me became available. That was the end of the road for me. I knew in my heart it was over at that point and backing off for a possible departure was a comfortable thought in my mind. Even though I backed off first, when he realized something was wrong on my end he said or asked nothing about it, he just backed off in return and that stung, bad. I didn't think I was more special than him, I just thought if he knew something was wrong and he loved me he'd ask what was wrong and try to save the relationship.

Keep in mind I was ready to give up and still have that mindset, but it bothers me bad that he never questioned me at all. It seems that giving me the old "one up" was more important that asking what was going on with me. I guess it shouldn't bother me since I was the one ready to give up, however when the guy I had loved never even asked any questions, it stung. We had even talked about getting married one day.

Anyway, it's over and I'm not going back, not to answer questions or anything.

 

[Graham123]

Good for you my man, better opportunities for you out there also.

 

[JD_002]

Got ghosted recently by one of the few guys I kinda liked recently, was mad the first two days but I think I'm moving on, probably wasn't meant to be.