Hey guys. I’m having a situation that I need your help with. There’s someone who lives near me, who I used to hook up with years ago, but it’s over and I moved on. I don’t dislike him, but I just don’t want to hook up ever again. He comes and goes on Grindr and other apps, and always taps me or sends one word messages like “sup”. I’ve regularly explained to him that I’m not interested, but he keeps this up. So, I just try to ignore it or only respond to every 20th or so “sup” or tap. If I don’t respond for a long time he messages and calls me rude. I was off line for a week or so and received a string of “sups”. In an ideal world he’s mature enough to handle me being on Grindr without feeling the need to constantly reach out. This doesn’t seem to be really happening though. I’ve blocked him many times in the past but he’ll just make a new profile and resume this behavior. I’ve tried to be mature and explain that we’re not sexually compatible (he’s a strict side and won’t bottom, while I’m a top). He seems to understand for a while but then goes back to the old behavior. I don’t think he’s dangerous or anything, but I’m exhausted with being in this pattern for years! Any thoughts???
Grindr Ettiquette
- Thread starter Nubadu22
- Start date
Delete your account or rename it.. see if detours his messaging you..
Other than that tell him if he doesn’t quit you have him turned in for sexual harassment
Other than that tell him if he doesn’t quit you have him turned in for sexual harassment
Been there. Been on both sides actually. You just gotta keep blocking him. Block him immediately. He'll eventually get the hint. I was down bad for a dude I hooked up with for almost 10 years until it magically clicked....that man is not into me lol on the other side, I saw how annoying it was and yeah, just blocked immediately. As soon as I saw him. Even before he had a chance to say anything to me.
I recently saw a coworker on Grindr and we had a mutually mature conversation about it being inappropriate to see each other on the app. We agreed to block each other and there were no hard feelings. I wish it could be the same in all cases!
I usually use the 3 unresponded messages rule, to tell if someone isn’t interested in me. If there’s no response to 3 messages over a 2-3 week period, I block them. I don’t want to come off as a stalker or a person who can’t take rejection.
I actually talked to a co worker on Grindr .. he was kind of still in the closet .. but I informed him that the guys at work thought he was gay and that he didn’t need to hide it from us ..
We’d sit around at lunch breaks and he’d brag about fucking girls with his big dick and would even “ air hump” and I’d see his bulge moving in his pants( guess that’s why a lot of guys wear either boxer shorts or go commando so it be hanging freely )
He was like— he didn’t know I was watching so closely .. but he knew I was gay as everyone did.. .. so he was like “ I won’t air hump “ anymore .. I told him don’t stop on my account t— as it’s funny watching the guys seeing it moving in his pants..
I told him for a bunch of straight guys they talk about cocks a lot and when they see his bulging out like that they seem to enjoy it more than they should ..
…. .. did we meet and do it..? That’s another story ..
But there’s no etiquette in Grindr.. I get on there time to time and I see same guys been on there for 4 to 5 years .. they act like they are perfect and want you to be but more than likely the pics they have posted isn’t really them
I dealt with the same from a couple of guys for like 5 years. I have a few suggestions but honestly none of them really solutions as this is an unsolvable problem.
Unfortunately the “we’re not sexually compatible” talk is completely ineffective, he’s literally hoping you get so bored you fuck him, he doesn’t have the maturity to take this in.
You seem like a nice guy but my first suggestion is you tried nice, be mean if you can. One of the guys kept making blank accounts and sending me messages and then if I bit he’d be like “oh it’s me” and I was drunk and lost it on him. Told him he was creepy and terrible in bed and I regretted ever sleeping with him and would certainly never do it again. And he stopped bothering me for almost two years. If this is tough for you to do just remember he is being very creepy and it is disrespectful.
Otherwise there’s no good way to deal with someone who’s crazy enough to make new profiles constantly. I actually preferred to not block him and just ignore. Just helped me keep track of him cause he would try to trick me with new profiles constantly.
But seriously no matter how bored drunk and horny you get do not throw any pity fucks his way.
Good luck
Unfortunately the “we’re not sexually compatible” talk is completely ineffective, he’s literally hoping you get so bored you fuck him, he doesn’t have the maturity to take this in.
You seem like a nice guy but my first suggestion is you tried nice, be mean if you can. One of the guys kept making blank accounts and sending me messages and then if I bit he’d be like “oh it’s me” and I was drunk and lost it on him. Told him he was creepy and terrible in bed and I regretted ever sleeping with him and would certainly never do it again. And he stopped bothering me for almost two years. If this is tough for you to do just remember he is being very creepy and it is disrespectful.
Otherwise there’s no good way to deal with someone who’s crazy enough to make new profiles constantly. I actually preferred to not block him and just ignore. Just helped me keep track of him cause he would try to trick me with new profiles constantly.
But seriously no matter how bored drunk and horny you get do not throw any pity fucks his way.
Good luck
That part! Absolutely under no circumstances throw a pity fuck. Jerk off before you get to that point.
I've also tried the mean method but I'm always scared I'll be mean to the wrong one and if we hooked up at my place and they know where I live, what they might do. I now rarely host for that reason.
It tickles me when chatting with guys just looking for a suck n fuck.. nsa sex then they’ll say that not sexually compatible.. I tell them to get over themselves that if they thought they were better then me they wouldn’t be on here ( the app) Looking for quick sex.. with a person that’s basicly slutty / whore type ( like myself — I have no preference - I am just in it for the cock ) —-
That’s why I enjoyed sex years ago before this technology .. you meet someone go to their how or go to yours .. or in back of truck / back seat of a car .. both get what want then part ways
That’s why I enjoyed sex years ago before this technology .. you meet someone go to their how or go to yours .. or in back of truck / back seat of a car .. both get what want then part ways
It's very funny that you think not being sexually compatible with someone is some kind of value judgement.
I seriously doubt I can fall in love with someone on an app .. they can lie to you about some things and not be who they are until they meet.. this has happened to me couple times
One guy told me about his looks and all.. but he went from 170lbs to 230 within few weeks ..
So when we met first thing he says is he was wrong about his weight .. I was like a few lbs is ok but 60 is a huge lie..
So I figure if he starts out with lies what will he be like as time goes on
So if I am going to be serious about someone it’s not going to be from an app
As for me not thinking anything has to be sexually compatible .. as I said if it’s just sex and that’s all he is after then it’s easy and if you can’t understand that then that’s up to your way of thinking but a lot of men and women don’t care about compatibility and there’s nothing wrong with that
One guy told me about his looks and all.. but he went from 170lbs to 230 within few weeks ..
So when we met first thing he says is he was wrong about his weight .. I was like a few lbs is ok but 60 is a huge lie..
So I figure if he starts out with lies what will he be like as time goes on
So if I am going to be serious about someone it’s not going to be from an app
As for me not thinking anything has to be sexually compatible .. as I said if it’s just sex and that’s all he is after then it’s easy and if you can’t understand that then that’s up to your way of thinking but a lot of men and women don’t care about compatibility and there’s nothing wrong with that
I guess I just don’t understand. Just because someone is looking for casual sex doesn’t mean they have to sleep with anyone who offers? If you want to sleep with anyone and everyone that’s perfectly fine, but if someone communicates with you that they’re not interested then that should be the end of it.
Like OP said he wants to top and the other guy doesn’t enjoy anal sex at all. They both may be looking to hookup but they clearly aren’t looking for the same thing. Sexual chemistry isn’t only for committed relationships
Ignoring and immediately blocking any newly created profiles from him seems to work. I just have to keep an eye on both Grindr and Scruff, for any new profiles from him.
I never said in any way that bug him until he gives in.. if he is only a tip and doesn’t like to bottom then so be it..
I’ve met guys that like to give blowjobs and do t want sucked back.. I think it’s kind of weird but it’s their body so if they don’t want sucked back then that’s just how it is
Delete your Grindr account and create a new one see how that goes
I’ve met guys that like to give blowjobs and do t want sucked back.. I think it’s kind of weird but it’s their body so if they don’t want sucked back then that’s just how it is
Delete your Grindr account and create a new one see how that goes
If you don’t care about being sexually compatible with someone who you are going to have sex with, then that’s wild AF. Are you only having sex with someone for their pleasures or desires at the complete lack of acknowledgement of your own needs and wants? If your potential partner wants you to lick his dirty feet, but you aren’t into feet, are you going to do it anyway??? In my situation in the OP, a person who is a strict side doesn’t want to bottom for me (I’m a top). I explained that we aren’t looking for the same thing sexually. No harm and let’s go our separate ways. He seems to not accept this, and keeps trying to get me to have “sex” with him on his terms, even though I don’t want this. It’s not me being picky or feeling that I’m better than anyone. I just don’t enjoy having my dick sucked as the only event in a sexual encounter.
Why would you have to keep an eye out? If he's contacting you, you don't need to keep an eye out for him as he's made himself known. If he doesn't contact you, there is no problem.
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