Guilt After First Gay Sexual Encounter

[NorthBear306]

Sorry if this has been covered already.

Have people (men and women) had to deal with a lot of guilt (or maybe just mixed feelings) after their first sexual encounter with the same sex?
I really aiming this question at those who were first in hetero relationships and then sometime later had their first gay experience.
How did you before, during, and afterwards? Did you ever feel ashamed (especially men 'cause we have that 'post nut clarity' thing that removes most horny thoughts after orgasm)?
Anyone ever stop mid encounter 'cause the guilt/shame was too much?

Of course I'm not saying anyone should feel guilty...perfectly normal (and very enjoyable) to have experiences with the same sex. It's just pretty typical I think that people will feel an element of shame afterwards.

 

[Tommypa94303]

Yea get the guilt post cum. Sometimes I feel equally bad if I’ve cum first and he hasn’t because sometimes I’m done and ready to go. Also find once I have jerked off with a bud, it really satisfies my urge for dick for a couple of weeks, slowly building it back up.

 

[NorthBear306]

Yea get the guilt post cum. Sometimes I feel equally bad if I’ve cum first and he hasn’t because sometimes I’m done and ready to go. Also find once I have jerked off with a bud, it really satisfies my urge for dick for a couple of weeks, slowly building it back up.

I know what you mean. Although my desire for cock doesn't really disappear, I'm just not horny and feel a little weird about guys...at least for a few hours.
I guess 'cause I feel more 'romantic' towards women, you can cuddle and stuff after sex. With guys you just want some great sex and fun with each other's cocks....then pretty much just leave.

 

[Triplexintx]

Sorry if this has been covered already.

Have people (men and women) had to deal with a lot of guilt (or maybe just mixed feelings) after their first sexual encounter with the same sex?
I really aiming this question at those who were first in hetero relationships and then sometime later had their first gay experience.
How did you before, during, and afterwards? Did you ever feel ashamed (especially men 'cause we have that 'post nut clarity' thing that removes most horny thoughts after orgasm)?
Anyone ever stop mid encounter 'cause the guilt/shame was too much?

Of course I'm not saying anyone should feel guilty...perfectly normal (and very enjoyable) to have experiences with the same sex. It's just pretty typical I think that people will feel an element of shame afterwards.

I've only had a couple of oral experiences but I remember thinking, what did I just do. My brief experience was facilitated by alcohol and we never spoke of it.

 

[NorthBear306]

I've only had a couple of oral experiences but I remember thinking, what did I just do. My brief experience was facilitated by alcohol and we never spoke of it.

Alcohol definitely helps early on.
I think most of us guys just can't help but feel somewhat shameful about being with another man. It's just an old way of thinking. It's too bad 'cause I wish I had discovered the joy of gay sex earlier on. I'm more comfortable with my bi-sexuality now and the guilt is pretty much gone for good.

 

[WilliamG]

Alcohol definitely helps early on.
I think most of us guys just can't help but feel somewhat shameful about being with another man. It's just an old way of thinking. It's too bad 'cause I wish I had discovered the joy of gay sex earlier on. I'm more comfortable with my bi-sexuality now and the guilt is pretty much gone for good.

I've had one encounter. Parking lot... In a car. But I felt like a guy on his first date. I came in a couple minutes. But we both laughed and talked afterwards about other things. I thought I might feel uncomfortable, but was not at all.

I think many guys have some conflicting issues. Online with guys (lots of married), many turn their cam off within seconds of coming. This is after all the nasty things we told each other as we were stroking. Then *poof" done and out.

 

[NorthBear306]

I've had one encounter. Parking lot... In a car. But I felt like a guy on his first date. I came in a couple minutes. But we both laughed and talked afterwards about other things. I thought I might feel uncomfortable, but was not at all.

I think many guys have some conflicting issues. Online with guys (lots of married), many turn their cam off within seconds of coming. This is after all the nasty things we told each other as we were stroking. Then *poof" done and out.

Absolutely. That's partly why I never have random hookups with complete strangers. I'm sure there's this weird feeling afterwards...but if you're comfortable with the guy, and can chat both before and afterwards, then it makes the whole experience a lot better and less awkward.
I think a big step forward for me was sticking around after camming with a guy and talking about our jack session and not being weird about it.

 

[halcyondays]

Guilt or shame? No. Not even the first time I banged a guy at 22.

Those come from particular religious taboos I had already rejected by then. Death penalty & eternal damnation for any sexual activity outside a lifetime heterosexual pair bond anyone?

While I have never bailed in the middle over guilt I have been with men who have. A few haven't even make it to the middle before quitting. They did not use the word guilt but I suspect it's a major cause when a guy says I just can't do this or This doesn't feel right.

My concern begins when a guy expresses after-guilt. Not much I can do except talk about it if he's open to that.

What's interesting is that some guys who bail want to try again. It's like they have to push through the guilt more than once to let it happen.

 

[chrisrobin]

From my first very early experience to now the only guilt I've ever had is that maybe I was to choosy with my bed fellows, guilty because I maybe turned down an amazing sexual experience or even meeting the love of my life.

 

[NorthBear306]

Guilt or shame? No. Not even the first time I banged a guy at 22.

Those come from particular religious taboos I had already rejected by then. Death penalty & eternal damnation for any sexual activity outside a lifetime heterosexual pair bond anyone?

While I have never bailed in the middle over guilt I have been with men who have. A few haven't even make it to the middle before quitting. They did not use the word guilt but I suspect it's a major cause when a guy says I just can't do this or This doesn't feel right.

My concern begins when a guy expresses after-guilt. Not much I can do except talk about it if he's open to that.

What's interesting is that some guys who bail want to try again. It's like they have to push through the guilt more than once to let it happen.

I don't totally agree with that. Although I grew up Catholic I had walked away from the faith many years before my first gay encounter. I never worried about sinning or anything like that.
I think for a lot of guys it just seems emasculating...that somehow they're less of a man. I know that's how I felt after my first few times.

 

[halcyondays]

I don't totally agree with that. Although I grew up Catholic I had walked away from the faith many years before my first gay encounter. I never worried about sinning or anything like that.
I think for a lot of guys it just seems emasculating...that somehow they're less of a man. I know that's how I felt after my first few times.

So the shame (guilt?) comes from the perception of being emasculated? Interesting. Never occurred to me that I was less of a man for being with another man. Maybe that's because I started topping at 22 but didn't bottom until 40. Even then I didn't think or feel emasculated by the experience.

Still, I take your point.

 

[elklindoxxx]

I never felt guilty at all. Perhaps it was because I've always had an attraction to males ever since I could remember. So it really was not out of the ordinary.

After my first sexual experience it felt great and I couldn't wait to do it again.....perhaps it just more natural for certain people.

 

[NorthBear306]

I never felt guilty at all. Perhaps it was because I've always had an attraction to males ever since I could remember. So it really was not out of the ordinary.

After my first sexual experience it felt great and I couldn't wait to do it again.....perhaps it just more natural for certain people.

Yea I think if it happens later in life like it did for me, that old stereotype of gay men made me feel effeminate and therefore guilty.

 

[nixco]

No guilt whatsoever. Why feel guilt for something that's fun and hurts nobody? I don't get it.

 

[Theo0152]

Zero guilt...I felt it was a normal thing for me to do ...as a bi guy

 

[Luvcutdick]

No guilt what so ever. My partner and I enjoyed ourselves, regardless how others may feel about gay sex. And we continued for many years afterwards. To be clear, it was purely physical; there never were any deep emotional commitments by either of us.

 

[GS_PL]

The guilt would only stem from what you're concerned with what OTHER people think, not with what you're doing that you enjoy. It's difficult to take the confident attitude of not giving a fuck what people make of your sexual life - it's a pathetic obsession of the nosy busy-bodies. I'm happy for you, and am hopeful that you have many, many more to come.

 

[MNpervert]

After my first time there was some doubt/guilt however after that I was fine I realized who I was and it was ok. Thankfully I had a couple close friends I could discuss with.
There have been a few hookups I have had that after they cum in my mouth they cant leave fast enough.

 

[yorkshirepudding]

I totally get this.

My first experience - well, two experiences-in-one really, because it was a gay sauna - I felt a little bit weird afterwards, but also felt great. No guilt, no regret, just "why did I never think to do that before now?"

But after that, I did feel...not guilt, because there's nothing to feel guilty about, just felt uncomfortable.

Visited a couple of saunas again over a period of a few years, but did a runner before anything happened. Chickened out, I guess. Again, not guilt - just didn't feel right, for whatever reason - I think I was just in denial. Got massively put off another time when a guy just stuck his dick in my mouth - I'd never done it, and maybe I wanted more boundaries than people generally expect in those places. Didn't blame the guy, just felt like a fraud.

I'm still not 100% over it, but it's much easier since I just accepted that I like guys, even if I'll probably always be more straight. Now - it's like the best of both worlds, I guess. But it's also the reason I'm struggling a bit just now - because I want a "friend with benefits", really - whereas what you get on, say, Grindr feels more like Dick Guy in that sauna.

It is great, though, discovering cock for the first time!

 

[ilovetowatchcs]

With me I have always liked to look at other guys cocks - from a distance. I jerked off thinking about sucking different guys in different places.
But what helped me the most was when I swallowed cum for the first time. Then swallowed for the second time. Because once i committed to that, the cock sucking became like a passion.
And now, yes, I still like pussy, but if there's a cock in the room, I really need to have it in my mouth.