I'm so confused. On the one hand, I don't like it when gay guys make such a big deal about big cocks. I even had a guy that wanted to date me recently mention that he had a big cock and told me that as a versatile guy that anyone with a cock smaller than 6 inches won't work for him. Well even though I knew he was interested in dating me, he kind of basically stated that I wouldn't be sexually acceptable (since I'm 5.5 inches).
Then on the other hand, I had sex with a sweet guy that I had sex with about a year ago. Sweet, sweet guy. But his cock is even smaller than mine. I tried to do enjoy it with him but after having sex with my three most recent that were 8.5 inches, 7.5 inches, and 7 inches respectively, I have to admit that I also like a larger than average penis in me - otherwise it just doesn't turn me on.
I want to stick up for average or even less than average guys and not contribute to the dehumanizing aspect of stating that someone is not sexually appealing just because they were born with a penis not larger than average.
Yet I have to admit myself that as primarily a bottom, I also like a bigger cock. And I like the look of cock that is bigger than mine.
I would appreciate respectful thoughts on the matter. Can anyone relate? Any words of advice? How can I come to terms with this so it doesn't distract me?
First thing is to separate this out into the three or four separate issues. If you want to come to terms with it, it might be best to learn that you have to accept some things as a given. One of them is that you're cock is your cock and it isn't going to really change in size or shape.
One issue you bring up is your feeling when the guy you were going to date said you were too small for his interest. I think classifying this as a "date" is a bit of a stretch. He wasn't interested in you. He was interested in your cock, ass, and mouth. You could have been blond, or bald, or left handed, or have a tattoo, or piercing... whatever... It is a physical attribute and you have no control over their physical reactions.
Another issue you bring up is your physical reaction to a larger cock. Just like the other guy, it is about your body and your physical reaction. You may be attracted to an uncut cock, or a curved cock, or a darker flesh tone, or a specific scent, or someone with larger feet... whatever... That is about a physical reaction. You could experience heightened pleasure from someone tweaking your nipples, or fingering you, or deep throating you... it is all extremely personal and individualized.
The next issue is that you should not judge yourself harshly. I read into your comments that you are judging yourself the same way you judged the guy who didn't want you. That is an interesting projection, but totally unnecessary.
The most important issue, from my perspective, is that you're mixing up the qualities of having a relationship (dating), with the physical attributes you desire from having a sexual encounter (hookup).
I can tell you from personal experience, that being in a relationship strictly for sexual purposes is hollow. It is great to have an active and mutually enjoyable sex life with your boyfriend/girlfriend. But it isn't required. Decades from now, you and your husband/wife/partner may or may not even have sex. The intimacy should always be there, regardless of the sex.