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HOTTEST MAN IN AMERICA
EPISODE 6 : THE SWAP (Part 2)
During the break, I check my social media to gather some clues on who could join back the show amongst the first six evictees. My money is on Hunter or Darrell but I could also see Jared coming back.
Most of the times, my predictions are completely off anyway.
Mainly, I check which former contestant is active on Onlyfans tonight. That does not mean much since they can schedule posts in advance but I am always curious to see what they are up to.
How many of the twelve contestants will open an Onlyfans page in the near future? I reckon most of them, if not all.
Even Jared has signed up last week and he is already posting videos where he fucks himself with the most random stuff. Yesterday, I saw a video of him with a full cucumber shoved up his ass. That escalated quickly!
He seemed so shy in the show. I guess TV, money and fame do change people. He was on a yacht with some rich guy working in tech last week-end...
Obviously, Oliver opened his Onlyfans page the day right after his eviction. Apparently, his content would be good, like bisexual gangbangs and stuff like that.
Hunter and Darrell who were evicted last week are the only ones who have not opened their x-rated page so far. Hunter is saying that he would like to host shows in the future and that he wants to preserve his image...
Even the vegan / feminist / annoying Paul did it and stroked his small cock for money! Boring content so far though.
I was enjoying a video of TikTok star Marc sucking his new boyfriend's dick (another z-list celebrity coming from an obscure reality tv show) when David Harrison appeared on my screen again.
I have to unmute my TV quickly, I do not want to miss the rest of the show.
"You are on Channel 22, and you are definitely at the right place! Juicy scandals, sexy hunks, and a tons of drama: tonight we are giving you everything that you have been waiting for! And it is finally time to reveal which contestant will walk runaway in his latex outfit last, and therefore, which contestant has left us earlier this week."
The host is clearly thrilled to have us on hold.
"Ladies and gentlemen...
Please welcome to the stage...
...
Andrew!"
Fuck, that means that Mitchell is gone. I guess this is the least surprising outcome given his religious background but I still have a lot of questions regarding his departure.
That being said, my brain has not much space left to think about that as a FULL-ON NAKED (!!) Andy (with a new more stylish haircut!) is walking the runway.
The dumb jock is doubling down on his trend of wearing less and less clothing each week... And tonight, he is stark naked except for two red latex gloves matching his hair.
This look is fire but I have to say something.
It might sound mean but, by the way Andy is looking aimlessly at the camera, you can tell that the boy is dumb as a rock. Of course, it is even worse when he starts opening his mouth, but even just by his eyes, you can tell.
As the show progresses, Andy appears to be nothing more than a tempting piece of fresh meat, being shown off for the producers, the audience, and his fellow contestants to enjoy.
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Not that I am complaining, my dick definitely loves him. I am just saying that I understand Louise's last message on social media saying that she has decided to break up with his longtime boyfriend.
It was sort of rough:
"Andrew has broken every one of our boundaries when participating in this deviant television program. I have therefore decided to put an end to our relationship." She first posted on Instagram.
Simple, straight to the point, not overly dramatic. But just wait!
Someone (well most people) replied: "dude is just idiot and naïve, he loves you." (the audience is for the most part found of Andy) and then, Louise replied back:
"Maybe he is naïve but his older brother fucks me just as good, if not better, so I don't need him anyway. He can go suck that asian guy's dick!"
Poor Andy, this is gonna hurt when he will return home. I hope he will win the Grand Prize, just to soften the blow.
But eh, one million dollars or not, i'm sure he will get rich after the show. Nobody with a cock that appetizing can remain poor for too long!
"Andy, this was another tense week in the villa with Mitchell leaving the house. How did that make you feel?" The host enquires as Andy sits down with the others.
"I guess that I was sad at first. I mean, it was not very nice of Mitch to call all of us degenerated perverts who will end up in Hell."
I could not help but laugh. You should see Jin's looks as Andy says stuff like that. Priceless.
"But then, Jin helped me feeling much better about it. First, he taught me a great technique to calm anxiety. You simply need to stroke you willie long enough and then, you feel just fine. Secondly, he told me that Mitchell leaving meant that we now have one shot out of five to win one million dollars and I was very happy about that."
Sweet, dumb, and naïve Andy...
"About that, boys... I guess I should share some news with you." David Harrison says in a dramatic tone.
Oooh, time for the revelation! I am excited. In all senses of the word.
"You're worrying us, David. What is it this time?" Kyle asks.
He has his usual smile on his face but he does seem concerned.
"You all know that this show would not be this fun without the twists and turns. Well, let me get you in on a little secret. Even before Mitchell had left the game, we had offered an incredible opportunity to our viewers: they could either choose to swap one of you with one of the previous evictees..." (audible gasp from Jin) "... or let all six of you remain in the house."
"Swap?" Andy is confused. (When is he not?)
"One of you would be leaving the game and one of the previous evictees would return in your place."
They all start talking back, or rather screaming back "that's not fair!". David has to yell to obtain silence again.
"BUT! GUYS! There is a but. Since Mitchell has decided to self-evict, the production has considered this was only fair to register the votes regarding the contestant that the audience wanted to have back in the house, not the votes regarding the eviction. You five are remaining in the competition tonight."
"Fuck, but someone is still coming back then?" Carlos asks.
"I can confirm that someone is coming back... And he happens to be standing right next to me."
Live from the house, the contestants, just like us, see the camera turning to... Darth Vader!
Wait... What?!
Are they kidding me? A tall guy wearing a full-on latex suit and a Darth Vader mask is shaking David Harrison's hands.
"Who is he?" Someone from inside the house exclaims.
I am wondering the same thing!
The guy in the latex suit talks in a crazy terrifying auto-tuned voice:
"I am back, boys, and I am ready to take my revenge!"
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OK. I am officially done with that show.
Well, maybe not... Who will stop watching a TV show featuring only male contestants who are naked 90% of the time? But dude! A guy hidden in a Darth Vader mask while wearing a freaking latex body suit! They are really trying me this time.
Seriously, at this point, the producers must be mocking us on purpose to see how much crap we can handle in the hope to enjoy some dicks' slips on national television.
"Gentlemen, please calm down!" The host urges the contestants. "You will find out very soon who is hiding under this suit and who will be returning straight into the house, tonight."
Straight might be poor choice of word here. Ahah
"But for now, it is time for our audience to uncover the series of events which led to Mitchell's shocking decision to leave the show. And if you can believe it America, it all started with a harmless pool party!"
Following these words, a segment starts immediately with the six contestants saved last week gathering around the pool.
When David said "pool party", he forgot to mention "skinny dipping" pool party, everyone is stark naked except for Mitchell who is wearing his (boring) black speedos.
A comment appears on the screen:
"Mitchell felt uncomfortable being nude in the pool with the other houseguests."
If he was to become such a buzz killer, I am glad that Mitchell has left the competition and let his place to a more down-to-have-fun (or down-to-fuck) contestant.
Mitch should have been taking example on Andy. Look at him, moving his big juicy ass around without a single care in the world! That's what we want to see.
The following clips are pure jerk-off materials.
We get to see a montage of several minutes of the guys diving inside the pool, messing with each other in the water, (the way Bastian slapped Andy's ass! Glorious), swimming from one side to another or simply, chilling on their back, their junks fully exposed.
I lick some of my precum while making sure not to miss any of the action. Those are some of the most exciting shots we had since the show started.
It is like all these guys are fighting to be the more exposed and shameless possible. And at the exception of Mitchell, they have all become very good at this exercise.
In the end, I am glad that none of these hunks (except for Mitchell) will leave this week, and I am glad that none of them consider that wearing any type of clothing inside the villa is an option.
Finally, they all got the memo of what the audience wanted to see! America needs to assess the goods to elect the Hottest Man in America. Right?
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Another comment appears on the bottom of the screen:
"During the party, two contestants get closer."
While most of the guys are still enjoying the pool, Carlos and Kyle are sitting on the edge, their feet in the water.
"Duo week is over, we could try to get more involved with the rest of the group." Kyle suggests.
"I have no wish to get more involved with some of the guys there." Carlos replies, looking at Jin harshly. "Besides, the public saved us in first place last week, it would be a shame to try to stop something which is currently working."
Kyle nods yes.
A part of me knows that their "relationship" is purely strategic to get me to vote for them, but for the most part, I do not even care. In the end, they are still super hot together (especially when then get even closer to each other), and it is not like any genuine relationship would come out of a show like this anyway.
"I did not say anything about stopping what we are doing, Carlos." Kyle says, putting his arm around his fellow houseguest.
"We are aligned for not stopping anything then... But what about moving a few steps forward?" Carlos puts his hand on Kyle's muscular thigh. I almost came in my hands when he did that.
Are they about to kiss? It certainly looks like it!
Their conversation is cut off by Bastian screaming things like "get a room, you two!" from inside the pool.
But Carlos and Kyle do not care. They love the attention they are getting by being so public about it. They want the drama. They want the air-time.
It is like they are playing the most intense game of "gay chicken" I have ever seen. You know, that stupid game which was popular a few years back where College guys would dare their straight bros to do gay shit and the first who would stop or refuse to do anything, would lose and be called a "gay chicken".
After some hesitation and being a bit more playful, Carlos was litteraly carressing Kyle's nipples at some point, the two end up kissing right there, in front of the others contestants, and millions of Americans watching.
Yeah. They were both supposed to be straight coming in! And now, they are french kissing and... getting blatantly hard while doing so!
Jesus, I thought the cameras would at least avoid showing us hard cocks. It looks like that the producers are ready to cross that boundary as well.
As the make-out session becomes more intense, several guys leave the pool. Andy seems oblivious to what is happening around him but Mitchell does seem very uncomfortable.
I guess that "Homosexuality" is a sin that stands against his values... How can Mitchell stand seeing two guys practically licking each other's faces with huge hard-ons, when he has been taught all his life this was the worst sin any man could commit?
The Christian boy hurries to get out of the pool so he would not be associate with such perversion...
But man, you are already on this sick tv-show, you are going to Hell anyway! My advice to Mitchell would be to enjoy his time on Earth now that it is too late for a spot in Heaven. Don't you agree?
A new comment appears on the bottom of the screen:
"Mitchell has asked to meet with production but production has denied his request not to temper with the authenticity of the game."
"Authenticity": again, I have to laugh... Athough, my main focus is not on the subtitles on the screen but on the long close-up of Bastian hairy's ass climbing the ladder as he is coming out of the pool.
I am a sucker for hairy ass cracks and Daddy Bastian is clearly providing in that department.
Please remind me to check screenshots of that moment later on, on social media!
At this point, Michell appears to be still in the game. He wonders around the house nervously but he has not reached his breaking point... David Harrison did mention a "series of events" so I assume this is far from over.
Bastian teases Mitchell for being a pussy, but he stays around the pool to observe while Andy is being his usual self, not minding the tensions building around him, mindlessly scratching his balls above the surface of the water.
"Dudes, maybe, that will be more respectful if you were not doing this here." Jin finally says. "Mitchell is clearly uncomfortable."
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Jin does not look too happy to see the make-out session either, lying down on a lounger, but I guess it was easier to put this one on Mitchell instead of admitting he was jealous.
"No problem, mate." Kyle replies with a smirk, grabbing Carlos' dick.
Kyle and Carlos are too excited to make a fuss about this and they are happy to leave for the bedroom.
That's when I realize what is about to happen...
I suddenly remember the host talking about two houseguest having sex at the beginning of this episode, here we fucking are! Of course, that would be Kyle and Carlos! Who else?
The next scene is undoubfully the raunchiest one we had yet! And that is saying something given the tone of this show since the very first episode.
At this point, I can tell that Carlos and Kyle are no longer playing, or they deserve a freaking oscar. After being locked down for weeks and weeks, they do need to release the tension!
They jump on each other as soon as they enter the room. They are grabbing each other asses while licking their necks, their chests, or french-kissing. At some point, I can swear that Kyle even spits in Carlos' mouth.
Those two are horny and dirty as fuck.
I am not to sure who would be the bottom or the top between the two, they seem to be fighting, in the most erotic way possible, to gain control. Their hard dicks are now rubbing against each other.
Carlos is the first one to offer a handjob but Kyle quickly reciprocates.
"You like that, eh?"
"Fuck, you know that I do... mmmm... keep on rubbing the cockhead... yeah, just like that!"
At this point, this is a full-on gay porn.
One split second later, they are sixty-nining each other on the bed. Kyle swallowing Carlos's big caramel cock without a hence of hezitation, and Carlos struggling to fit Kyle's huge white cock in his mouth.
Wait...
Are we still on national tv ? Live, on prime time? What the heck? What am I watching?
I mean, we do not have much close ups of everything going on, but nothing is blurred out and we see clear hard-ons and everything.
"Fuck yeah, Carlos... You know... fuck... hmmm... You know it's my first time with a dude."
"Same, bro, same!" Carlos replies, with a mouthfull.
I am flabbergasted. God bless America. God bless this show!
Talking about God, as the two "bros" move from the bed to discuss who will be fucking who first, the door opens and Mitchell catches them.
There is little doubt about what is going on.
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Thank God, they were not actually sucking each other off or the poor Mitchell would probably have suffered a stroke but even this, seeing that the two guys were clearly about to have sex, was too much for the farmer.
"Stay tuned and find out what happened next and why Mitchell ultimately decided to leave the show!" David Harrison teases as he announces the second commercial break.
That's the problem with TV: always cutting off during the best moments!
[Second commercial break]