Hey guys, I'll try not to type too much.
I'm 24(M) in a relationship with another 24(M) for about a month, however, we'd been dating for the last 9 or so months. I'm his first boyfriend, he's my first boyfriend.
I've only been experimenting with guys for about a year and some change. Up until January 2023, I had only dated and done things with girls. So it's safe to say that on this side of things, I'm inexperienced as hell. Whereas he has at least 8 years of experience on me when it comes to doing with things with guys.
I've only had sex with five guys ever, including him. I've only topped two of them, including him too. But I don't think topping is for me. He's told me my stroke game is weak a couple of times, although when he's really turned on he'll ask me to put it in. He's right, it is weak cuz I don't know what I'm doing. Even with the girls I dated, I could never bust one while having sex. I'm guessing it's just performance anxiety combined with not knowing what I'm doing. With the other guy I topped before him, I actually started sweating from being so nervous (it was my first time), but he was cool about it, and let me flip over, and bottom for him.
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It goes without saying that I bottom whenever my boyfriend and I have sex although it's not TOO often. But I find myself having to lie my way out of bottoming or just saying no because it hurts when he puts it in. I've done it the last 3 or so times and he says it's ok and lets me get my nut, but I feel bad for denying him sex and being the only one to bust one sometimes. I clean out, watch what I eat, we use plenty of lube and foreplay, but even then, it still hurts. Although it does help when I'm on top then switch to a different position, when he goes deeper that's when the pain comes back. Don't get me wrong though, we've had a handful of great sessions here and there but it's not consistent and I want to change that.
He lets me jerk him off after we decide on no sex but 9 times outta 10, between him being long-winded as hell and me being inexperienced/my hand cramping up he often has to finish himself. It's just not fair in my eyes and I know he'll feel the same eventually. He tells me "It's ok" "We don't f-ck that often, that's why it hurts sometimes" "I rather pleasure you then be pleasured" etc. etc. but I know it's only a matter of time before he gets tired of it. I've seen his mood change when I deny him sex. How can I be a better bottom for him? A better sexual partner for him? I'm looking into plugs and dildos to practice with in my free time. Another thing that also helps is edibles and getting drunk since it helps me relax my mind but even then, there's no guarantee. I don't even know how to give him head right. I always finish when he gives me oral but never the other way around.
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The second thing is that the other day we were drunk and laying in bed when he told me that he was in the mood to be slutted out. Ever since we met he's told me that he likes being dominated since he often has to play the dominant/masculine role in public. After he said he was in the mood for that, we started doing some stuff but somehow someway it ended up with me bottoming for him and him doing some freaky stuff to me. It made me feel bad. I don't know how to slut him out, maybe it's a confidence thing. I've asked him before how I can be a better sexual partner for him and he says I just have to try new things and see what he responds to. I've tried that but I don't think I'm getting anywhere.
So the two issues are: Bottoming more consistently and letting him finish. And learning to "slut him out" which I think is an inexperience/confidence thing.
I don't know. I don't think I'm overthinking but I don't want him to lose interest since I'm denying him sex sometimes and struggling to be the sexual partner he wants. I like him and want to be better for him. Can someone please help me? Any advice is very appreciated. Thank you.
And I'm sorry for the long post!
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TL;DR: I'm inexperienced/not the most confident when it comes to doing things with guys. My boyfriend, who's experienced as hell, is often the top but a lot of times I don't let him finish/get far in because of the pain. Not only that, but he looks to be dominated and be submissive sometimes too but I have a hard time doing that because of the inexperience/low confidence. How can I be a better bottom and let him finish and also learn to dominate when I need to? Thank you
I'm 24(M) in a relationship with another 24(M) for about a month, however, we'd been dating for the last 9 or so months. I'm his first boyfriend, he's my first boyfriend.
I've only been experimenting with guys for about a year and some change. Up until January 2023, I had only dated and done things with girls. So it's safe to say that on this side of things, I'm inexperienced as hell. Whereas he has at least 8 years of experience on me when it comes to doing with things with guys.
I've only had sex with five guys ever, including him. I've only topped two of them, including him too. But I don't think topping is for me. He's told me my stroke game is weak a couple of times, although when he's really turned on he'll ask me to put it in. He's right, it is weak cuz I don't know what I'm doing. Even with the girls I dated, I could never bust one while having sex. I'm guessing it's just performance anxiety combined with not knowing what I'm doing. With the other guy I topped before him, I actually started sweating from being so nervous (it was my first time), but he was cool about it, and let me flip over, and bottom for him.
-----
It goes without saying that I bottom whenever my boyfriend and I have sex although it's not TOO often. But I find myself having to lie my way out of bottoming or just saying no because it hurts when he puts it in. I've done it the last 3 or so times and he says it's ok and lets me get my nut, but I feel bad for denying him sex and being the only one to bust one sometimes. I clean out, watch what I eat, we use plenty of lube and foreplay, but even then, it still hurts. Although it does help when I'm on top then switch to a different position, when he goes deeper that's when the pain comes back. Don't get me wrong though, we've had a handful of great sessions here and there but it's not consistent and I want to change that.
He lets me jerk him off after we decide on no sex but 9 times outta 10, between him being long-winded as hell and me being inexperienced/my hand cramping up he often has to finish himself. It's just not fair in my eyes and I know he'll feel the same eventually. He tells me "It's ok" "We don't f-ck that often, that's why it hurts sometimes" "I rather pleasure you then be pleasured" etc. etc. but I know it's only a matter of time before he gets tired of it. I've seen his mood change when I deny him sex. How can I be a better bottom for him? A better sexual partner for him? I'm looking into plugs and dildos to practice with in my free time. Another thing that also helps is edibles and getting drunk since it helps me relax my mind but even then, there's no guarantee. I don't even know how to give him head right. I always finish when he gives me oral but never the other way around.
---------
The second thing is that the other day we were drunk and laying in bed when he told me that he was in the mood to be slutted out. Ever since we met he's told me that he likes being dominated since he often has to play the dominant/masculine role in public. After he said he was in the mood for that, we started doing some stuff but somehow someway it ended up with me bottoming for him and him doing some freaky stuff to me. It made me feel bad. I don't know how to slut him out, maybe it's a confidence thing. I've asked him before how I can be a better sexual partner for him and he says I just have to try new things and see what he responds to. I've tried that but I don't think I'm getting anywhere.
So the two issues are: Bottoming more consistently and letting him finish. And learning to "slut him out" which I think is an inexperience/confidence thing.
I don't know. I don't think I'm overthinking but I don't want him to lose interest since I'm denying him sex sometimes and struggling to be the sexual partner he wants. I like him and want to be better for him. Can someone please help me? Any advice is very appreciated. Thank you.
And I'm sorry for the long post!
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TL;DR: I'm inexperienced/not the most confident when it comes to doing things with guys. My boyfriend, who's experienced as hell, is often the top but a lot of times I don't let him finish/get far in because of the pain. Not only that, but he looks to be dominated and be submissive sometimes too but I have a hard time doing that because of the inexperience/low confidence. How can I be a better bottom and let him finish and also learn to dominate when I need to? Thank you
