I guess I need to update that posting. For the past 1 to 1.5 years, #4 and I have been struggling. For the past 6 months, I have walked away a few times, but I finally called it off for good 2 months ago. Some things done can never be forgiven.
2 weeks ago, I signed into a gay website that I don't use anymore. I check the messages ever few weeks or so. This guy have sent messages to each other before, but nothing ever came from it. This website isn't known for chatting. But he had sent me a message, saying he hadn't see me online in a while and wanted to know if he had miss the chance to meet me. The first time I read the message, I decided I wasn't at that point where I was ready for anything. But the more I thought about it, the more I decided it was time to bite the bullet and take a chance.
I sent a message and told him I don't use that website much anymore. I then gave him my phone number and told him to text me or call me. A little bit later, I received a text from him. Since then, we've been busy texting each other most days, when we have time. We have made plans to meet a few times, but it always got canceled. I think both of us were a bit scared. I know I came on strong in the text messages. But we've both agreed to just meet, see how it goes. If we started having sex, we could be friends with benefits. I know I am not exactly ready to date somebody, but at the same time, I like this guy. I am not going to let him slip by me. And I told him I want to be completely honest and never hide anything. I have told him about the gloryhole/sling I have at my place. He has no problem with that.
And I will add, last night, we met face to face for the first time. We went to a bar and had a few cocktails. We chatted for 4 hours. We split a flatbread pizza. And then I walked him to his car. We made out in the parking lot. As he got into his car, I walked back to my car and I went home. I really like this guy and hope there is a lot more of him in my future.
