The guy sounds like an asshole honestly. Are you sure you have quality time outside of sex? Do you have conversations that aren't superficial? Is he contributing to them as in initiating them or only just responding when you ask questions? Are you sure he's not just going through the motions with everything in your daily life?
The guy is obviously horny. He seems to be more fulfilled sexually via porn and jacking off than being intimate with you. He's either addicted or isn't sexually attracted to you, perhaps both. The fact he doesn't like kissing you speaks volumes in my opinion. Kissing is intimate. It's more personal and meaningful than sex. If he's only going through the motions with you with sex, then he's most likely visualizing that you are someone else. Do you guys have sex with the lights on or off? Do you guys have sex where you can see each other or does he always turn you around so you don't see each other? The way you have sex will tell you a lot. If he's going through the motion then that means he is neglecting you intimately and just getting his rocks off or just trying to stop you nagging him for the month for sex.
Sex isn't everything. If he wasn't watching porn daily and jerking off then this could be a different story. When you guys did have sex, if he was more passionate and loved being intimate with you then that's also a different story. But neither one of these are true and you can't blame his low sex drive, him being tired or whatever reason. Don't make excuses for him.
You state he's a good man but is he a compatible man? We can all be with a good person but it doesn't mean it's going to work out. You are looking for intimacy. You aren't getting it. You try to show your bf intimacy but it doesn't seem like he cares. If you are deprived something for so long, you may end up seeking it from someone else. That or you may not say no to someone who's making you feel wanted and desired that's putting the moves on you.
How I see it, he loves you but isn't in love with you anymore. I've been there. I was with my bf at the time who I fell out of love, i hated kissing him and just went through the motion. Anything intimate was out the door. I just wanted him sexually and thats all. I ended it because I just wasn't happy but we remain friends. But here's the question. Are you happy? Would you be happy if nothing changed? You already addressed it and how it makes you feel. He obviously hasn't changed and isn't making an effort to make you happy. Sex isn't everything but your happiness is. I personally would not pursue anything with him if he doesn't make an effort for me. It can't be one sided. You both need to work on the relationship together to make it work. Just think about your future with him. I've been in an on and off relationship for 6 years. It should have ended at year 3 but we just didn't want to hurt each other. That's 3 years wasted in a relationship that just wasn't working. You learn from them and you should learn from this one
I would decline an open relationship. Not because they don't work but because you need honesty and communication for it to work and he doesn't display any of those things so you would end up getting hurt.
The guy is obviously horny. He seems to be more fulfilled sexually via porn and jacking off than being intimate with you. He's either addicted or isn't sexually attracted to you, perhaps both. The fact he doesn't like kissing you speaks volumes in my opinion. Kissing is intimate. It's more personal and meaningful than sex. If he's only going through the motions with you with sex, then he's most likely visualizing that you are someone else. Do you guys have sex with the lights on or off? Do you guys have sex where you can see each other or does he always turn you around so you don't see each other? The way you have sex will tell you a lot. If he's going through the motion then that means he is neglecting you intimately and just getting his rocks off or just trying to stop you nagging him for the month for sex.
Sex isn't everything. If he wasn't watching porn daily and jerking off then this could be a different story. When you guys did have sex, if he was more passionate and loved being intimate with you then that's also a different story. But neither one of these are true and you can't blame his low sex drive, him being tired or whatever reason. Don't make excuses for him.
You state he's a good man but is he a compatible man? We can all be with a good person but it doesn't mean it's going to work out. You are looking for intimacy. You aren't getting it. You try to show your bf intimacy but it doesn't seem like he cares. If you are deprived something for so long, you may end up seeking it from someone else. That or you may not say no to someone who's making you feel wanted and desired that's putting the moves on you.
How I see it, he loves you but isn't in love with you anymore. I've been there. I was with my bf at the time who I fell out of love, i hated kissing him and just went through the motion. Anything intimate was out the door. I just wanted him sexually and thats all. I ended it because I just wasn't happy but we remain friends. But here's the question. Are you happy? Would you be happy if nothing changed? You already addressed it and how it makes you feel. He obviously hasn't changed and isn't making an effort to make you happy. Sex isn't everything but your happiness is. I personally would not pursue anything with him if he doesn't make an effort for me. It can't be one sided. You both need to work on the relationship together to make it work. Just think about your future with him. I've been in an on and off relationship for 6 years. It should have ended at year 3 but we just didn't want to hurt each other. That's 3 years wasted in a relationship that just wasn't working. You learn from them and you should learn from this one
I would decline an open relationship. Not because they don't work but because you need honesty and communication for it to work and he doesn't display any of those things so you would end up getting hurt.
