I had knocked three times, and still nothing, “Kal?” my voice echoed down the hallway, “I’m coming in.” Despite moving out three years ago, I still had the keys. But, the apartment was a far cry from when I lived there or came to visit. The couch, the coffee table, even the lamps were gone, and in their place were piles of spent beercans and stained takeout boxes. Had Lisa upended the garbage cans when she left?
“Kal?” still no answer, and the rocks in my stomach grew heavier. We weren’t as close as we used to be. Hell, I’d heard about the break up from someone else. But it had been a week since anyone had heard from him, and I wasn’t about to leave him like… this.
“Kal?” his bedroom door was open, but the room was empty. A pile of dusty clothes and plastic bins where the bed used to be. I turned down the hall back to my old room, the smaller of the pair, the door was closed. His car was parked out front. I took a nervous breath. Shit, was I going to have to call the police?
I sighed with relief to find Kal laying on the rickety twin bed I’d left behind, curled into a fetal position. Bloodshot eyes very much open, and still very much breathing.
“Kal?” I repeated, touching his shoulder when he didn’t answer. He flinched, and turned to look up at me.
“Emre?”
I nodded, “Hey man, people were worried about you so I decided to check in.”
“How did…” his voice was rough and he seemed to lack the will to even finish the sentence.
I gave my keys a jingle before crouching down to meet him eye to eye, “When was the last time you left the apartment?”
“Not since,” he squeezed his eyes shut, and took a slow uneven breath, he opened his mouth again to keep going, but nothing came out.
“OK, well I’m here,” shit. Now what? “Let me go get some water for you.”
I fled the room and returned with the faded superman mug I’d given him one Christmas. Despite the occasional joke about his parents’ nerdy name choice, it never bothered him. Maybe he even enjoyed it a little. Being 6’5’’ and having shoulders wider than a Kansas cornfield probably didn’t hurt either.
I pushed the mug toward him, and after no movement I grumbled, “OK, either you take the mug or I am pouring it down your throat like I did on John’s twenty second birthday.
He coughed softly before pulling himself up to take the mug. The poor faded tshirt he wore had torn on the seams trying to accommodate his biceps. The ratty looking boxers he was wearing were even worse. I let him sip it in silence.
“Fuck,” I coughed, at the sudden wave of smell. It was like I had jumped into his gym bag, “When was the last time you changed… or showered? You are ripe!”
His lips quirked, a few steps shy of a smile, but it was something, he shrugged.
“Uh uh,” I said, shaking my finger like an elderly aunt, “stand up.”
He did, and I was suddenly reminded of how tight that shirt was, and that those boxers had a hole in them that show patches of skin I was NOT going to look at, “Go take a rinse. Soap if you can manage.”
He seemed to ponder it, before nodding and walking away. I sighed. This was worse than ‘hung over Kal.’ I needed to get him talking. As soon as I heard the shower run, I changed the sheets on the bed. It was a twin, so Lisa hadn’t taken that along with everything else, and I refilled the water.
I was just restuffing pillows into mismatched cases when Kal returned, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer-briefs (in better condition this time), and collapsed back on the bed. He looked at me for a moment, before turning on his side and facing away from me.
I sighed, and squeezed into the bed behind him, “Kal,” I said to a mass of wet blond hair, “You need to get up.”
“I got up.”
“You showered.”
“Yup.”
“May we can do something more, like put on clothes?”
“No,” he grumbled.
“What about eating?”
“Not hungry.”
I rolled my eyes, “Ok, well what about–oh Goddamnit!” I yelped, yanking my hand back from his shoulder, “Did you dry off at all?”
There was a snort, “Only found an hand towel.”
“Well there goes having clean dry sheets.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“Change the sheets? They smelled like summer ass.”
Another snort, his voice was quieter this time, “You didn’t have to come.”
“Yes,” I said, ignoring the wet hand as I gave his shoulder a squeeze, “I did.”
The effect was immediate, the curled hunch of his shoulders relaxed, and the muscles on his neck unclenched. I pulled my arm further around him, and gave him a squeeze, soaking my tshirt in the process. Kal sighed and let some his weight rest against me as he rolled into my arms.
“Thanks.”
“Any time man.”
I held him like that for a while, and I felt his breathing slow. For a moment I thought he was nodding off, but he spoke up again, “I don’t know what to do.”
“Well you could start by getting out of my old bed. How long have you been here?”
“I’ve been sleeping in here for the last two months.”
“That… must have been hard.”
“It should have been. But–-”
“No I mean, you barely fit on this damn bed. Scoot over.”
Another amused snort, and he shifted his back to give me more space. I struggled to get my arm under his head but he kept nearly crushing it as he shifted his shoulders. “Sorry,” he said turning around to face me, and I was rewarded with a sheepish smile, “I’m not really good at being the little spoon.”
“Well take that up with your parents and their genes, you damn ox,” I said giving him a little shove before lifting my arms to accommodate him.
Another smile, and barely noticing the shift, my head was resting on his bicep, and I was looking at him face to face. Kal had his other arm around me. One of my arms was hovering over his side and the other was wedged against his chest. After a quizzical look from Kal, I let my arm drop onto his side.
“Better?” he asked.
“I mean, I’m definitely soaked now. But, at least its a little less awkward. You weren’t much of a cuddler when I lived here.”
He seemed to deflate a little, “Yeah… I didn’t realize how much I loved it until I had it. But then…” his eyes drifted again. Shit.
“Well, if you don’t mind the stubble,” I said, nodding my chin for effect, “I won’t turn it down.”
His arms pressed into my back, and I let him pull me forward into his chest. The stubble on his pecs pricked my nose, and I was reminded that Lisa used to make him shave. Fucking shame, I always enjoy the blonde curly fuzz. Even though he was he was wet, he was so warm, and I shut my eyes, just taking in the feeling of him. I couldn’t smell any soap on him, just the clean smell of him. And it was good. Oh this felt really good.
Oh no.
We held each other for a few minutes, and his breathing slowed. Growing erection aside, I was halfway to falling asleep when Kal gave a nearly silent shudder. I began to feel hot tears on my neck.
“Kal?”
He sniffled, and gave me a squeeze. I squeezed back. I let his tears turn to sobs, and held on as he wept. Trying hard not to do the same.
Eventually I felt him take the deep breaths trying to regain control, and I pulled away to look at his tear stained face. He looked away, unable to meet my gaze, until I reached up and put a thumb on his cheek. God, I wanted to kiss that cheek.
“Hey,” I kept my voice soft.
Another long sniff, “I’m sorry man, I just haven’t held someone in so damn long. Jesus. I needed this. I just…” he took a long shuddering breath, “am I unlovable?”
The question was a mule kick to the chest, “Oh honey, that is fucking bullshit. I don’t know where that came from, but no, you are plenty fucking lovable.”
“Then, am I just unattractive?”
“The fuck? Oh come on, now you’re just fishing for complements. Of course you’re fucking attractive.”
He chuckled through his tears, before looking distant, “Lisa stopped… Lisa wouldn’t… it had been weeks since we even kissed. When I found out she was seeing other guys… I just… I wasn’t worth…” he took steadying breaths.
Oh that conniving miserable bitch. Someday I was going to make her life very very unpleasant. But right now, “Kal whatever the fuck is wrong with her is her own deal. But you are worthy of love, and you definitely attractive.”
His eyes brightened, “Really?”
I rolled my eyes, before giving his chest a little smack, “holy shit dude, you are sweet. You are kind, and you are BUILT.”
He chuckled, “Do you… think I’m attractive?”
Uh oh, “Uh… yes… but I don’t think I’m your type.”
“You aren’t just saying that?”
“I’m literally trying to figure out things to think of to keep from getting completely hard while cuddling with you.”
Kal’s blue eyes narrowed, his expression was unreadable. I yelped as he cupped the crotch of my jeans before giving it a long slow squeeze. His fingers wandered over the length of my cock which was rapidly coming to full attention.
“Kal WHATTHEFUCK?”
His expression remained unreadable, “I… wasn’t sure if you actually meant it.”
“I–” my response died as he gave my cock another squeeze, and my hips instinctively pushed into his hand, “Is that enough proof for you?” I was breathing hard.
He nodded, but didn’t remove his hand, “Do you want me to stop?”
“No. But…” I let my hand rest on his. Oh god, I did not want him to stop.
“But?” he said, his voice going a little rough.
“You’re straight.”
“Right now I don’t really fucking care about that,” and he kissed me like a man drowning. I moaned into his lips and pulled closer to him. It was practically bruising at first, but as he moved his lips, it softened. But the hunger was still there. Oh holy shit.
We laid there like that for long moments clinging to each other making out like desperate teenagers. The heat of his cock pressed onto my stomach. Eventually all of the voices in my head started screaming, and I pulled away gasping.
“We have to, we can’t… you’re not in the right state of mind.”
“Emre for the first time in days, in weeks, I don’t feel like I’m going crazy.”
“I don’t know, randomly kissing guys seems kind of crazy.”
“I’m not kissing guys. I’m kissing you.”
Smooth motherfucker. I should roll my eyes, but instead I drew him into another round of kissing. His hands began to roam over my chest and down my sides, he tugged on my shirt, and with a nod from me he pulled it off. Lingering shower water stuck our chests together, and I smiled as I felt him working the button on my jeans.
“You sure?” I said.
He nodded, before pulling my jeans off. Not exactly expecting sexy times, I wore a bit of a stretched out set of boxer briefs, and the tip of my cock peaked over the waistband. Kal couldn’t seem to help himself, and pulled them down. Our kissing stopped as he just sort of stared at my cock.
“Something wrong?” I asked, feeling more than a little exposed.
He shook his head, and began to stroke me, I rolled onto my back, shut my eyes and just let it wash over me. When I cracked them open, he was staring at me, a crooked smile on his face.
“Do you like it?”
I nodded.
He grins, and rolls my balls in his fingers. Fuck. As he works, I feel a fingertip slide over my hole. I jumped as the chill ran through me, but he continued, grinning all the while.
“Enjoying the show?”
He nodded, “I’ve always wondered what you looked like naked.”
I blinked. Well, that’s… uh new information. Rather than let my heart skip too many beats, I turned and start kissing him again. With minimal direction, I pushed him onto his back and got on top of him. I let my lips wander over his cheek and his neck, rewarding me with a groan, and a pulse from his crotch on my bare ass. I couldn’t help but knead those wide shoulders, and slid further down, running my lips over his chest, feeling that delightful stubble. His nipples weren’t too sensitive, but when I gave him a gentle bite, his body shook beneath mine.
His hands weren’t idle. Kal continued to use his reach to jerk me when he could, and ran his fingers through my hair. When my mouth trailed over his stomach, I felt the sticky wet on my chest and neck. Holy fuck, his boxerbriefs were absolutely drenched in precum.
Curiosity and horniness won over taking my time, and I yanked his underwear off. His fat uncut cock slapped against his belly, leaving a line of shiny precum. Goddamn he was thick! I took him in my hand and he moaned softly in response.
Sliding down, I ran a tongue over the barely exposed head, and Kal pulsed with another line of precum. The warm salt taste utterly overtook me, and I began licking up and down the length of him, my other hand cupping his balls.
After returning to his head, I slowly eased him into my mouth. God, I wanted to just inhale him. His foreskin wasn’t loose, but I was still able to slide my tongue in and swirl it around on each each stroke. It took me a while to loosen my jaw up, but soon I was sucking cock with wild abandon.
Kal could barely keep it together, his hips jostled, and his legs shift. I caught a glimpse of toes curling, and I knew I’m starting to get close. Just a little longer and…
“Emre,” Kal gasped, a hand on my chin, “I’m gonna come unless you stop.”
“Do you want to come?”
Kal bit his lip for a moment, “I kind of wanted to try fucking you. If that’s OK.”
“You… want to fuck…me?”
He nodded vigorously, and I felt his cock twitch in agreement.
My eyes rolled, “do you have any Lube?”
“Shit… uh can we just,” he gave his cock a pull, producing another prodigious bead of precum.
“Funny. Your cock is waaaay too thick to do that.”
He shrugged, another sheepish smile on his face, “Blame my genes?”
“I’ll send your parents a card,” I replied, walking into the bathroom before returning with some old lotion from one of the drawers. Kind of gross, I know, but fuck, desperate times and all that.
Kal grinned as I straddled him. While his eyes were still red, the earlier pain seemed far away. I began to lube up his cock with a twisting motion, and for a moment I was worried that would be it for him. God, he really did precum buckets.
I lifted myself and guided him in. It had been a while, but the slow stretch, the heat, the feeling of fullness was intoxicating. I took him inch by inch with long exhales, not trusting myself to bottom out just yet. When Kal wrapped wide strong hands on my hips, the relief rolled over me, and my body relaxed down into his lap. Kal sighed, his eyes slitting.
For a moment we just sat there together, my hands splayed on his chest. But the slight jostle of his hips, raised goosebumps, and I need to move with him. Soon I was riding him, still not fast, but just letting both of us fall into the rhythm of it.
As the pace picked up, our hands began to wander again. There was something about those wide shoulders that begged to be kneaded. Kal’s hands gripped my ass spreading me wide, and I felt him start to put a little more oomph as he rose to meet me.
An absolutely porn-worthy bottom moan escaped before I was able to clamp my lips shut. I turned away, my face burning, and mind filled with images of Kal pushing me off. I’d been with my fair share of ‘straight’ guys, and the thing that killed the mood fastest was reminding them they were fucking another man. Sure enough, Kal slowed to a stop and stat up.
Face inches from mine, I could hardly ignore the intense expression on his face.
“I’m sorry, I know–”
“I want to hear you,” his voice was low.
“Huh?”
“I want. To hear. You.” he said, before pushing his lips into mine, and lifting me up from his lap. With pure strength, Kal started bouncing me on his cock. Holy shit. I’m not a big guy, but I’d never been man-handled like this. My legs wrapped around him and I held on for dear fucking life. Between the squeeze of his arms around me, and hammering pressure, I couldn’t have kept quiet if I tried.
Kal lifted me up, and with a smooth motion placed me on me back. With him now on top, he increased in speed and force. Soon he was shouting along with me. Every time he slammed into me, I shook. I wanted to do more but, each thrust practically reset my brain, all I could do was grip granite biceps and cry out into his shoulder.
“Em… Em… I’m getting close.” He growled into my ear. And I laid back to see his face clouded over with pleasure. God damnit he was beautiful, he tried to say something but I kissed him and that was enough, his rhythm fell apart and he jerked with deep uneven thrusts, coming with a long groan.
Pressure welled up inside of me, as I felt the heat of his load pulse into me over and over. It was too much, and without touching my erection, I came with him. The world went fuzzy. And with each uneven thrust another wave of pleasure rolled over me. After what seemed like a blissful eternity he collapsed on top of me.
We lay like that for a while, until he started to giggle. Eventually rolling off of me, he still held me close. His expression.
“What?”
“Jesus, I just realized I am so fucking hungry. Do you want to go out and grab some dinner?”
“Oh NOW you want to get up? Well we can go as soon as I can fucking walk.”
