How would you react?

[Giacomo cavernosa]

I’m 26 yo. I’ve suffered from depression and insecurity my entire life. It’s kept me from ever developing a relationship. Never had sex, never had a girlfriend, never been kissed. I’ve always been considered attractive, but 7 years ago I started lifting and started penis enlargement. I thought it would fix my confidence. Fast forward to today, I’m in good shape and I’ve got a pretty big dick too. (Posted my first pics today) But surprise surprise, it hasn’t changed a thing. My issue was never under my clothes, it was in my head. Not sure how to fix it, but I need to move on.
I figured I’d use a dating app. But should I be honest about being a virgin? I know it’ll freak out most girls. But if I don’t say anything, they’ll notice somethings up when I don’t even know how to kiss.
Also, do you think having a bigger penis might mitigate some of the weirdness of being inexperienced? If, for instance, we flirted via text and it got to the point that we exchanged pics. I figured women might be less likely to reject me if they’ve seen that my insecurity hasn’t stemmed from a lack of physical development. Not sure if that’s just my penis-fixated man-brain tho.
How do you think you’d react if you were talking to a nice, attractive guy but you found out he had 0 experience?

Forgive me if I seem ignorant. But that’s kind of why I’m here. Any advice, constructive criticism or encouragement is appreciated. If I get any feedback on here, I’ll definitely post again. Thanks

 

[693987]

If you have larger than average penis size, that won't make inexperience less awkward. If anything you'll need to communicate really well with whoever you do end up being intimate with, because not all women like larger than average dicks or can accommodate them comfortably. I'm specifying women since you say you're 99% interested in women and this is Ask a Woman, mind you. If you have interest in exploring that 1%, I can't at all speak as to how it might be from a male perspective.

As for letting someone know you're a virgin and generally inexperienced, I don't see anything wrong with telling someone that. I've been a few people's first intimate partner. I wouldn't have it be the very first thing you tell someone, though. You "know it'll freak out most girls"? Really? How?

For me, and this is speaking as a person who is happily monogamous and figuring out marriage plans, haven't been single in ages... I, as just one individual wouldn't be super excited about an inexperienced partner. I'm not super fond of teaching the basics and beyond. It wouldn't be a deal breaker by any means, but it wouldn't be something I considered a perk. Some people do really like teaching/being someone's first, though.

 

[EllieP]

Fade has given you some good advice. Knowing that the guy I'm interested in is a virgin would not be an issue, but it's good to let me know. I would try to communicate as much as I could what is going to happen and what I like and what I think you might like.

As for a large penis, don't lead with that, but you'll know when the time comes to express that fact. Some women may find that a bonus, and some women may become a bit concerned.

Just know that if you happen to "scare" some potential partners away that it was never meant to be, and you're better off without them.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Well I still love the gym. I’m still involved in penis enlargement, though I’ve slowed down. I got a 164 on my lsats in July and am applying to law schools now. I also like collecting watches, and I do some 35mm photography

What's your favorite way to work out?

Interesting that you added penis enlargement, it's not something that I would think of as an interest/hobby. I myself am not one who prefers large dick, size is actually not relevant for me.

I like photography too, even uploaded some pics I took in a gallery here (yes, I'm shamelessly drawing attention to my pics)

Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong about being inexperienced at your age. It's not even rare. I've known a few men close to or at your age who had little to no sexual experience. The only time it was ever a flat out turn off was when I heard things that implied a sense of anger because they felt they were "owed" sex.

A thought: you don't have to protect us. Just don't be a threat. You can approach women without being "sexually aggressive". You mentioned that you may be an overthinker.. not unlikely. I do the same thing, to this day. Once I realized and accepted it things got easier to deal with. I could finally tell my own mind to calm the fuck down.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Sex is about how all parties involved feel. It's about your pleasure too. Don't feel like the whole thing is a performance. It's an experience.

This. It's not a performance. It's sharing. Just try things that seem like they would feel nice. Note whether or not you believe you were right about how it feels from your perspective, then pay attention to how she seems to be communicating it feels to her. Seriously, that's how it goes for everyone. Since nothing is universal, every new partner is very much like the first time. The only real clue you sometimes get is that most people will do to you what they know feels good to them, for starters. Pay attention to the first two seconds, and then imitate her. Nothing is universal, so that's not a guaranteed good time for anyone, but it can be a good baseline for experimentation. Every kiss is an experiment, honestly.

 

[Topgirl9]

Someone very close to me is exactly the same way. Being aware of your issues is the first step. You obviously are smart enough to know what ails you and with that knowledge you can find the answers.
I'm no therapist but it sounds like you have had trauma. Do you come from an abusive family etc?
You must be exhausted building all those walls around you. OMG, getting so deep here. Ok, I was raised being told I could do anything. I could achieve anything at all. I was capable, intelligent, beautiful and loved so much by my family. Here's the thing, I never felt like I could fail at anything. The shame I felt about everything that didn't turn out the way I planned. OMG, it took me years to figure out I wasn't a failure. LOL. My mom feels terrible about it. She thought she was doing the right thing. She probably was, I just took it the wrong way. Now I say, DOFI, It will always work out.
Want more advice? Don't grow up! It's a scam!

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I do think I really am all those good things. But I only show those things. Only the things I’m good at. Nobody ever sees me make a mistake. I don’t trip I don’t spill anything I never misspeak or stumble over words. I’m terrified of being bad at something. I know I don’t know how to kiss, I don’t know how to have sex. I feel like I’m walking into a gunfight with an AR15 and an empty mag. If push comes to shove I can’t close. I’m a dog chasing a car. I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I actually caught one. That’s really what scares me I think. I know I won’t be good, at least at first.

Sex is about how all parties involved feel. It's about your pleasure too. Don't feel like the whole thing is a performance. It's an experience.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Well you actually just deduced another of my major issues. I never ever put myself first. I never think of myself. I always think in terms of how others are affected. If somebody owes me money, I feel guilty because I suspect they feel guilty for owning me money. And I empathize with them. It’s almost disgusting. Throughout my childhood i’d secretly sneak money INTO my moms purse. I’ve never even told anybody that before. I honestly don’t think I can change that about myself. I don’t think I’ll ever put my needs first, even if I should

You need to take some advice from @LaFemme and THROW YOURSELF A PARTY!!

Everyone wants to be an enjoyable sexual partner, but we all want to enjoy the sex ourselves too, right?

Btw.. sneaking cash into mom's purse is super fucking sweet. I'll keep your secret.

 

[AlteredEgo]

The other day, I heard myself screaming as I neared climax, and only when I tried to hug him tighter and saw him flinch from my voice in his ear did I realize that insane noise was coming from me. I bit into his shoulder to keep from making him deaf. Finally, he growled back. I probably hurt him, first by yelling in his ear, then from biting too hard when I stifled myself. That's probably not ideal, but he's not going to hold it against me.

Worst case scenario? I FARTED in a dude's mouth. In his MOUTH! After a few seconds of his disgust and my mortification, we laughed hysterically, and he fell off the bed. We laughed some more. I'm laughing right now, and wishing him well wherever he is. I don't hold it against him that he enthusiastically blew into my butt, and he never held it against me that the result was...gross. He also never held it against me that I suggested a vibrator on his taint, and he turned out to absolutely hate it.

Horrifying things sometimes happen. They usually don't. But you have to just laugh when they do, or at least move along quickly, apologize when appropriate, and try another tack.

Anybody who likes you enough to accept your presence INSIDE her body, even just your tongue in her mouth, and then deliberately makes you feel badly about a misstep is telling you some very unflattering things about herself.

 

[MickeyLee]

Smooching and making out are some of my favorite things. I could, and have, spent happy hours snogging the boy's face off.

French kissing really depends on the person, and their technique. Some people are flittering tongues and nibbling teeth. Other people try to figure out what you had for lunch. That style is a bit much. Ya just have to experiment to see what you like and how you like going about it.

Ms. TnJ and The Fade are the exact opposite of me. They are happy with no kissing. I would wither, pout and die without kissing. Shows that even narrow generalizations regarding sex are bound to leave someone out of the picture.

The OT. No problem with a virgin. Especially a virgin with a really cute ass. You're by the way is a very nice ass

It would be fun to explore everything from step one. I'd enjoy helping someone find their groove and their "thing"

 

[Topgirl9]

If you take into consideration that "you wont be for everyone" and "not everyone will be for you" then any rejection can be just that. Just be yourself. If it's meant to happen it will happen. I would think more than likely you will hook up with someone just like you. Don't try to be someone you're not. A friend of mine used to say this and you should say this to yourself when you are nervous and insecure. D O F I
DOFI it means "Don't over fuck it"

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I used to do a lot of writing and loved philosophy. I wrote poetry and short stories mostly. I originally thought it was a good outlet. But in reality it just fostered my negative thinking. It allowed me to believe I was somehow superior to all the happy idiots I saw smiling around me. I equated happiness to ignorance, and depression to enlightenment. In reality I was just jealous and resentful

I know all too well the exact feeling you're describing here.

I realized that I was creating more negativity for myself, and I also learned that these "happy people" weren't necessarily happier than I was. They just had different problems and were better at dealing with them.

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

I know all too well the exact feeling you're describing here.

I realized that I was creating more negativity for myself, and I also learned that these "happy people" weren't necessarily happier than I was. They just had different problems and were better at dealing with them.

This is true. People are very good at pretending to be happy. That’s what most of social media is really

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Sex involves mistakes, because it's messy and unpredictable. It involves communication. It involves exposure.

Acceptance it a key word, that's the vibe I'm getting. You have to accept that you may not be a great sexual partner for some people. You may be amazing for others. You'll find that it works the same way for you. Some partners may not be Your preference . And that's perfectly normal.

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

I think we’ve actually made progress here. It’ll come down to accepting I can’t be perfect and finding an understanding or compatible partner. It won’t be easy for me. But I’m going to work towards it

 

[Giacomo cavernosa]

Btw. I just want to mention that it’s supercool to be talking with everybody here. A lot of you are basically LPSG royalty. I’ve been a member for years, going through the forums from time to time. So i really feel like I’m talking with celebrities

 

[693987]

You should be fine, so long as you communicate well, keep an open mind, and try not to let what's in your head overshadow reality. Most people have hang ups about something. It's how you deal with it that makes the difference. I like a very particular kind of sex. I tried to pursue a sexual relationship for a while with someone whose preferences were for a vastly different kind of sex. He wasn't bad, we just didn't mesh well in that aspect. For ladies who like slower, gentler sex I'm sure he's lovely.

Oh, also, being able to laugh in bed (or against the wall, in the shower, on the floor, whatever) is a good thing. Sometimes silly or weird things happen. Sometimes muscles cramp. Sometimes body fluids make noises during sex. It's good to be able to laugh

 

[693987]

Rem and I both dislike french kissing. I may lick, nibble, suck, and bite plenty of places on him, but we don't french kiss. He's one of the few people I've encountered who finds it as unpleasant as I do. We smooch plenty, but our tongues stay in our own mouths.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Rem and I both dislike french kissing. I may lick, nibble, suck, and bite plenty of places on him, but we don't french kiss. He's one of the few people I've encountered who finds it as unpleasant as I do..

Your relationship and ours have this in common. We don't even kiss more than once or twice a year, literally. It's something we only do when we are really having the feels.

 

[693987]

That’s interesting. I thought it was a universal thing. Good to know.
I used to be a huge germaphobe as a kid. The thought of French kissing would have made me puke 15 years ago. I’m over all that now. But I used to wash my hands like 50 times a day with every cleanser in the house.. I looked like Howard Hughes in “the aviator” frantically scrubbing like a maniac. I guess I’ve always been a weirdo

Different strokes for different folks French kissing is not my cuppa tea. When the opportunity arises, try it. You may like it, you may not *shrug*