Masturbation and relationships

[sd425]

How do you guys in relationships find a balance between having sex with your partner and masturbating?

I've been seeing a woman for two years now, and we usually have great sex at least twice a week. No complaints there, really. But I miss having some me-time and knocking one or two out on my own. My girlfriend is not opposed to me jerking off, but I think that my death grip would make it harder for me to cum with my girlfriend (which is my priority). I'm usually able to cum on my own pretty quickly if I want, but I need to have some pent up energy if I want to finish in a reasonable amount of time while I'm fucking.

Does anyone have any advice for delayed ejaculation (if that is even a thing) when fucking? Or am I SOL on the solo front?

 

[hzs3fg]

I never had any problem masturbating daily (usually during my morning shower ) and still keeping my wife more than satisfied on a daily basis.

 

[EdgeTyme747]

edging now & then without blasting a load keeps me fired up for the
next fk session. if i havent shot my wad in a while, i'm more likely to
cum faster when i'm with a lover.

 

[elklindoxxx]

My partner doesn't approve of me masturbating because, according to her, it's a wasteful use of time. She wants me to have sexual activity with her.

However, there are times when she is not in the mood for intercourse. So she will either give me a handjob or perform oral sex on me. Which I find both to be intensely pleasurable, way way more than masturbating.

 

[Sagittarius84]

My girlfriend is not opposed to me jerking off, but I think that my death grip would make it harder for me to cum with my girlfriend (which is my priority).

....so wouldn't a good compromise be figuring out how to masturbate effectively....without needing a death grip?


And maybe a larger question, what is this thing about death grips and desensitizing,and the like? If anything the one year I refrained from masturbation, or watching porn is when my sex drive went down or I had sexual issues with my significant other.

 

[chrisrobin]

So often during the day - or night - theres that urge to make spunk when you're on your own and its so much better to toss one out than bottle the sexual desire for ejaculation

 

[Sagittarius84]

My partner doesn't approve of me masturbating because, according to her, it's a wasteful use of time. She wants me to have sexual activity with her.

However, there are times when she is not in the mood for intercourse. So she will either give me a handjob or perform oral sex on me. Which I find both to be intensely pleasurable, way way more than masturbating.

Ugh...I hate you for this....not really it's more like supreme jealousy, because I've only been lucky once to have a woman like this in my life, and she was a horrible gf in most other regards.

 

[gaydude45]

I am masturbating less and less these days. My boyfriend actually almost never masturbates; perhaps once every few months or so. We both keep each other pretty satisified; we have sex at least once a day, and we're both 100% versatile. Masturbating is fun, but it's not as good as a mouth or a butt.

 

[sd425]

edging now & then without blasting a load keeps me fired up for the
next fk session. if i havent shot my wad in a while, i'm more likely to
cum faster when i'm with a lover.

100% agreed. This might be the best compromise for my situation. Thanks!

 

[sd425]

So often during the day - or night - theres that urge to make spunk when you're on your own and its so much better to toss one out than bottle the sexual desire for ejaculation

Yeah, rubbing one out quickly during the day helps me focus on work afterwards. Fucking would have the opposite effect, plus it's harder to coordinate our schedules during a busy weekday!

 

[sd425]

....so wouldn't a good compromise be figuring out how to masturbate effectively....without needing a death grip?


And maybe a larger question, what is this thing about death grips and desensitizing,and the like? If anything the one year I refrained from masturbation, or watching porn is when my sex drive went down or I had sexual issues with my significant other.

The no fap thing is beyond my comprehension, lol.

 

[elklindoxxx]

Ugh...I hate you for this....not really it's more like supreme jealousy, because I've only been lucky once to have a woman like this in my life, and she was a horrible gf in most other regards.

It just takes time to find the right one for you. I've ran into quite a few dead ends when dating. Especially the last one who I was going out with, who was really lame. And it was my sister who came up to me and told me to get rid of her...."I've got someone who who you have to meet." I asked her out 10 minutes after meeting her, we had great chemistry and for the first time in my life I had sex on the first date.

And that being said, my partner and I do strength and conditioning training 4 - 5 days a week. And she takes pride in her appearance. So if I were to go and jerk off, she would take offense to it. Thinking that I don't find her attractive enough. On the other hand I'll pleasure my partner in the way she wants. It's a beautiful thing to put a smile on someone's face. IMO...much better than solo pleasure.

 

[gaydude45]

It just takes time to find the right one for you. I've ran into quite a few dead ends when dating. Especially the last one who I was going out with, who was really lame. And it was my sister who came up to me and told me to get rid of her...."I've got someone who who you have to meet." I asked her out 10 minutes after meeting her, we had great chemistry and for the first time in my life I had sex on the first date.

And that being said, my partner and I do strength and conditioning training 4 - 5 days a week. And she takes pride in her appearance. So if I were to go and jerk off, she would take offense to it. Thinking that I don't find her attractive enough. On the other hand I'll pleasure my partner in the way she wants. It's a beautiful thing to put a smile on someone's face. IMO...much better than solo pleasure.

Offended that you masturbate?

That is patently ridiculous.

 

[elklindoxxx]

Offended that you masturbate?

That is patently ridiculous.

Perhaps, from a man's point of view.

But from a woman's point of view, it's much different. Certain women don't like it when their men masturbate alone. If a woman takes a lot of time, money and effort into being physically attractive and is willing to do what it takes to fully satisfy her man. Why go and masturbate alone?

On the other hand, if your partner is not interested in sexual activity, that's a separate issue.

 

[gaydude45]

Perhaps, from a man's point of view.

But from a woman's point of view, it's much different. Certain women don't like it when their men masturbate alone. If a woman takes a lot of time, money and effort into being physically attractive and is willing to do what it takes to fully satisfy her man. Why go and masturbate alone?

On the other hand, if your partner is not interested in sexual activity, that's a separate issue.

That's rather selfish and egotistical.

 

[Rooker]

My wife prefers I allow her to finish me in every situation but accepts that it happens. She is playful about it, including handing me her phone to pull up photos if I’m in the mood to look at a celebrity crush or something. She even calls the cumdrops from my solo sessions “Kat-lettes” after Kat Dennings (she has names for all of them).

I don’t think it’s selfish on her part, and we’re all egotistical to a point. I get it. I can finger her for ten seconds to give her the same effect as ten minutes of a vibrator, so why wouldn’t I?

I don’t think it’s wrong to wank solo in a relationship. I also don’t think it’s wrong for the partner to want to be involved.

 

[gaydude45]

My wife prefers I allow her to finish me in every situation but accepts that it happens. She is playful about it, including handing me her phone to pull up photos if I’m in the mood to look at a celebrity crush or something. She even calls the cumdrops from my solo sessions “Kat-lettes” after Kat Dennings (she has names for all of them).

I don’t think it’s selfish on her part, and we’re all egotistical to a point. I get it. I can finger her for ten seconds to give her the same effect as ten minutes of a vibrator, so why wouldn’t I?

I don’t think it’s wrong to wank solo in a relationship. I also don’t think it’s wrong for the partner to want to be involved.

I'm not hung up on it. There is no reason for this to be so complex. If it doesn't affect the quality of intimacy, then there is no reason to not masturbate unless there are mutually agreed moral objections to the practice itself.

 

[Rooker]

It’s kind of up to the couple. There is nothing wrong with not wanking either.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Offended that you masturbate?

That is patently ridiculous.

In most cases I would agree, except in most instances when this is the case, the one whom takes offense also mitigates the sexual activity made available as well. If some sort of sexual release was always on the table, I don't think myself or many straight men would have any issues with our female partners requesting we did not masturbate. The offense isn't in wanting to be the exclusive supplier, it's in not meeting production needs either.

 

[Sagittarius84]

The no fap thing is beyond my comprehension, lol.

Lol it wasn't a no fap thing, it was more of a way to reconcile the weakness I had for women at the time.