Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years now and recently we've been living together. One thing that bothers me is that he prefers masturbation to sex with me. I am a very sexual person and he is not, despite watching porn every day, which I also do. However, I'd prefer a thousand times to have sex with him than to masturbate, but he's not like that and it bothers me a little. I've talked to him about it and he admits that he prefers masturbating to having sex with me. I can't understand it because I've never felt that way. I've talked to him about exploring other things, like mutual masturbation, watching porn together, and so on, but he's not very open to it. I need to know other people's opinions on this matter.
Masturbation instead of sex
- Thread starter epilif
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Adventure86
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That sucks and I've been through this similar situation. When he admitted that he preferred masturbating then having sex with me, I had to walk away from that relationship because it bothered me. I felt so disappointed and disconnected from him after we moved in and a bit before we moved in, I'm a very sexual person as well so I understand. Sounds like you and your boyfriend need to reevaluate your relationship. What was his response to your question about exploring other things?
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I just broke up with someone I adored, not a very long relationship, we meet in July 2023 .. end it last week, I was going trough a similar situation as like with you guys and, it wasn’t at the beginning, he gradually start to getting into watching porn more often but I never confront him with it, I though it was normal until I start seeing the shift in his sexual behavior toward me, btw we didn't live together thankfully, anyway : I started playing with him touching him pulling him away from porn, he never complain about me touching him, then I found exactly how to stimulate him, so lately porn was just in the background, but I was the one performing those acts on TV, that is the one of the dangers of porn. I have to admit it is addictive, as a single man who cares, but wen you with someone, that person should have be enough to replace porn and, enhance his sexual life .. but bad habits never die.
oh and btw.. he broke out with me by a text .. saying the his love towards me was just drain out of him.
oh and btw.. he broke out with me by a text .. saying the his love towards me was just drain out of him.
Maybe I was also exaggerating! It's not always, but it happens often that we're alone together and he prefers to watch pornography and masturbate. For example, yesterday we had some friends over, then they left, and we were alone on the couch, and I ended up falling asleep. Today we talked, and he told me he watched pornography while I was asleep. This, after we discussed that I didn't feel good about him doing that when I clearly showed interest in having sexual relations with him. He says I do it too, which is true, but never when I know he wants to have sex with me (which rarely happens because he doesn't show that towards me, or at least, that's how I feel). I would also like to receive feedback from someone in the opposite situation to mine.
Strange, but then again everyone is different. I'd be open to both normal sex and mutual masturbation, etc., if I had to chose between jacking off and regular sex it's regular sex every time, I can always jack off later if I wanted. Best of both worlds!
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Solosexuality and autosexuality are real things. My husband is very sexual, whereas I'm not anymore. We still do things from time to time, mostly me sucking him off or reaming his ass with toys. I do like to masturbate by myself more often.
What you need to do is evaluate just how much the situation bothers you. Do you love him enough that the lack of sex doesn't matter, or will you eventually be completely unhappy with the arrangement? Would the two of you be willing to compromise and accept an open relationship so you can get sex when you want it? Would that even work for you?
Perhaps some couples' counseling is in order to help you figure out these questions. If he won't go with you, go by yourself.
What you need to do is evaluate just how much the situation bothers you. Do you love him enough that the lack of sex doesn't matter, or will you eventually be completely unhappy with the arrangement? Would the two of you be willing to compromise and accept an open relationship so you can get sex when you want it? Would that even work for you?
Perhaps some couples' counseling is in order to help you figure out these questions. If he won't go with you, go by yourself.
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Any relationship .. whether it lasts 6 months or 5 years.. when things begin to go south in these relationships.. we begin to wonder what’s going on..
It not a gay thing it’s this thing called love that occurs with both straight and gay people alike…-and we wonder what we can do to fix it… or if there’s any hope..
Sad to say a lot of these relationships have issues due to one cheating on one another.. .. which is the ultimate betrayal.. the old saying is if he is t getting it at home he is getting it somewhere else..
Another thing is definitely porn.. get to watching it.. then become interested in the porn more than with his bf … what I would do is ask him what’s going on in the porn that maybe you two can do.. .. maybe get on your knees and suck his dixk while he is watching porn.. see his reaction. If he lets you do it ..maybe try working things into more..
If not just tell him if he doesn’t seem interested then maybe you will go find someone that is.. see his reaction ..
Communication is important.. b
It not a gay thing it’s this thing called love that occurs with both straight and gay people alike…-and we wonder what we can do to fix it… or if there’s any hope..
Sad to say a lot of these relationships have issues due to one cheating on one another.. .. which is the ultimate betrayal.. the old saying is if he is t getting it at home he is getting it somewhere else..
Another thing is definitely porn.. get to watching it.. then become interested in the porn more than with his bf … what I would do is ask him what’s going on in the porn that maybe you two can do.. .. maybe get on your knees and suck his dixk while he is watching porn.. see his reaction. If he lets you do it ..maybe try working things into more..
If not just tell him if he doesn’t seem interested then maybe you will go find someone that is.. see his reaction ..
Communication is important.. b
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