More Men Claiming To Be Straight Looking For Gay Sex?

[Brodie888]

I had a number of room mates in college. Some were very straight. Others I found, given enough time and opportunity, they would cross the line and let their gay side come out to play.

I'm sure these days would be much easier given the greater acceptance of same sex attraction.

 

[cnkckfil]

It does seem like there are more "straight identifying" men that are looking for gay sex. I do think that could be for a variety of reasons. Primarily, I think the stigma of being gay or possibly perceived that way has been lessened. I appreciate that the younger generation are very sexually liberated. It isn't uncommon for men now to play and experiment without attaching labels. I love sex with men, I love a man's body, smell, hair, cum, cock and balls but I personally couldn't say that I was 100% gay until I tried to have sex with a woman... That was just my path.

Also I don't care what you label yourself as, you just do you. If I think you have a cute face and you want to ride my cock, take my load... Happy to give it.

Hugs, tugs and rubs bud

 

[Mister2101]

It does seem like there are more "straight identifying" men that are looking for gay sex. I do think that could be for a variety of reasons. Primarily, I think the stigma of being gay or possibly perceived that way has been lessened. I appreciate that the younger generation are very sexually liberated. It isn't uncommon for men now to play and experiment without attaching labels. I love sex with men, I love a man's body, smell, hair, cum, cock and balls but I personally couldn't say that I was 100% gay until I tried to have sex with a woman... That was just my path.

Also I don't care what you label yourself as, you just do you. If I think you have a cute face and you want to ride my cock, take my load... Happy to give it.

Hugs, tugs and rubs bud

well said. thanks for your reply!!

 

[Titanomachina]

It's long been understood that sexuality exists on a range from exclusively straight to exclusively gay, and the distribution is probably like a "bell curve" -- with most folks somewhere in the middle. It's also been understood that people's curiosities are not static and that while someone may be more on the straight end of the distribution, they may have interests from time to time that are elsewhere on the spectrum.

All of this is to say: people may identify one way, but they may have occasional interests and inclinations, and those activities do not necessarily change how they identify over the long term. Sexuality and sexual desire is fluid, and the minute you try to pigeon-hole anyone, they will defy that... and that's not because they're doing anything wrong -- it's that your attempt to define them statically as one thing or another is ill-conceived and always going to be trying to pin down a moving target.

As one commentator said: there's a difference between how you identify yourself in your own mind, how you act in view of others, and what actually goes on in your head when you're jerking off. The more closely aligned those three things are, the more sexually fulfilled you may be. But some people are not aligned on those three things and the more divergent, the more conflicted their lives will be.

I don't think that is the truth of the matter though. How you act with others and how you act in your head are utterly separate matters. A lot of what goes on in our heads, thankfully, stays there. How we identify ourselves may not be accurate either since we tend to have a distorted view of ourselves. How you act in view of others depends on the situation and what might be at stake. As for what goes on in your head when you jerk off that's really just an idea of what we think that is. That doesn't mean at all that we would like it. We have plenty of sexual ideas or fantasies that when actually acted out turn out to be way worse than we thought they would be.

These things don't have to align to be sexually fulfilled, in fact I would argue that they are better off not being aligned. Otherwise that makes you little different than a wild animal.

 

[winesthel945]

I don't think that is the truth of the matter though. How you act with others and how you act in your head are utterly separate matters. A lot of what goes on in our heads, thankfully, stays there. How we identify ourselves may not be accurate either since we tend to have a distorted view of ourselves. How you act in view of others depends on the situation and what might be at stake. As for what goes on in your head when you jerk off that's really just an idea of what we think that is. That doesn't mean at all that we would like it. We have plenty of sexual ideas or fantasies that when actually acted out turn out to be way worse than we thought they would be.

These things don't have to align to be sexually fulfilled, in fact I would argue that they are better off not being aligned. Otherwise that makes you little different than a wild animal.

The difference between what you do and what you desire is where the conflict -- and the lack of happiness -- comes for many people. I'm not talking about those who have desires for things that are impossible, impractical, legally or socially unacceptable, or dangerous.

But if you really dream about having a lover stick their dick in your butt, and you masturbate to that thought, but in your day-to-day life you (for whatever reason) stick to a strictly hetero-normative life, only date women who only do missionary position, etc., the disconnect between what you desire and what you do is inevitably going to be a source of some amount of frustration.

I'm definitely don't agree with your notion that you're better off never achieving your sexual desires. Aside from the edge cases of desires that are legally or socially problematic, or I suppose for the subset of people who find deprivation a turn-on in itself, a life of sexual frustration and unfulfilled desires is not going to be a life of joy.

 

[Titanomachina]

The difference between what you do and what you desire is where the conflict -- and the lack of happiness -- comes for many people. I'm not talking about those who have desires for things that are impossible, impractical, legally or socially unacceptable, or dangerous.

But if you really dream about having a lover stick their dick in your butt, and you masturbate to that thought, but in your day-to-day life you (for whatever reason) stick to a strictly hetero-normative life, only date women who only do missionary position, etc., the disconnect between what you desire and what you do is inevitably going to be a source of some amount of frustration.

I'm definitely don't agree with your notion that you're better off never achieving your sexual desires. Aside from the edge cases of desires that are legally or socially problematic, or I suppose for the subset of people who find deprivation a turn-on in itself, a life of sexual frustration and unfulfilled desires is not going to be a life of joy.

You'd be surprised. I used to fantasize about having my lover penetrate me or any guy i liked. But when I tried it for real it was instant regret. IT hurt, and when it didn't hurt it was just uncomfortable. I didn't feel what guys said they felt when they did it, no matter how much I did it or with whom. I was a major let down and showed me that our minds often have a habit of imagining things to be better than they are.

SImilarly to being bound of having someone on top of me, it ended up being far different in reality. That or the classic rape fantasy or being "Taken" by someone. That is why your ideas aren't always the best things to execute and some fantasies are meant to stay fantasies.

You're just wrong here.

 

[Wine0]

You'd be surprised. I used to fantasize about having my lover penetrate me or any guy i liked. But when I tried it for real it was instant regret. IT hurt, and when it didn't hurt it was just uncomfortable. I didn't feel what guys said they felt when they did it, no matter how much I did it or with whom. I was a major let down and showed me that our minds often have a habit of imagining things to be better than they are.

SImilarly to being bound of having someone on top of me, it ended up being far different in reality. That or the classic rape fantasy or being "Taken" by someone. That is why your ideas aren't always the best things to execute and some fantasies are meant to stay fantasies.

You're just wrong here.

yeah, I think my first few times were unpleasant too, but then I learned to relax, to breathe and to enjoy ‘giving’ myself for the pleasure of someone I loved. For me, it’s a combination of a physical pleasure and a bit of a mind-fuck which allows me to bottom. No one is right or wrong though - we’re all individuals. Best.

 

[Mister2101]

yeah, I think my first few times were unpleasant too, but then I learned to relax, to breathe and to enjoy ‘giving’ myself for the pleasure of someone I loved. For me, it’s a combination of a physical pleasure and a bit of a mind-fuck which allows me to bottom. No one is right or wrong though - we’re all individuals. Best.

I like your comment. Especially the lines, ".......then I learned to relax, to breathe and to enjoy ‘giving’ myself for the pleasure of someone I loved. For me, it’s a combination of a physical pleasure and a bit of a mind-fuck which allows me to bottom. No one is right or wrong though - we’re all individuals." Have a great day!!

 

[chrisrobin]

Many posters on LPSG claiming to be 80% to 100% straight but have pictures of them on their knees sucking cocks, spreading their hole and sitting on a cock or wearing women’s lingerie riding monster size dildo, or looking to get double penetrated and spit-roasted. I guess these ‘straight’ men are the equivalent of me being a good ‘Christian’.

I agree many guys would claim to be "normal" and not "bent" so they fit in with the accepted norm of their friends and family. On this site the pictures tell a different story to the one they hope to project - or is it that 99% straight going of with another guy is supposed to be a conquest of something. Labels are dangerous things unless the wording is true. I was married, have sons but I'm not straight, not any percent and don't pretend otherwise. It is indeed like the good Christian who reuses to shake my hand as I go to bed with men!

 

[winesthel945]

You'd be surprised. I used to fantasize about having my lover penetrate me or any guy i liked. But when I tried it for real it was instant regret. IT hurt, and when it didn't hurt it was just uncomfortable. I didn't feel what guys said they felt when they did it, no matter how much I did it or with whom. I was a major let down and showed me that our minds often have a habit of imagining things to be better than they are.

SImilarly to being bound of having someone on top of me, it ended up being far different in reality. That or the classic rape fantasy or being "Taken" by someone. That is why your ideas aren't always the best things to execute and some fantasies are meant to stay fantasies.

You're just wrong here.

I'm very sorry you had traumatic experiences. In another thread you said you generally dislike sex overall. That is probably more informative of your personal experience, but may not offer many lessons to people who are not asexual, low libido, or who associate sexual experiences with trauma.

Combining what you say here with that other thread about your lack of interest in sex, it's important to point out that your experiences are absolutely your authentic experiences and feelings, and you have every right to feel as you do. But it's also important to note that your experiences are not the typical experiences and feelings of others. Moreover, staying closeted or denying their desires has resulted in far more harmful outcomes than people who had bad experiences and turned away from sex altogether.

As I say, your feelings are yours to feel and are inherently valid for you, but trying to make a blanket conclusion that your unique traumatic experiences are why everyone should bottle up their desires is a logical fallacy.

I hope you find peace.

 

[Titanomachina]

I'm very sorry you had traumatic experiences. In another thread you said you generally dislike sex overall. That is probably more informative of your personal experience, but may not offer many lessons to people who are not asexual, low libido, or who associate sexual experiences with trauma.

Combining what you say here with that other thread about your lack of interest in sex, it's important to point out that your experiences are absolutely your authentic experiences and feelings, and you have every right to feel as you do. But it's also important to note that your experiences are not the typical experiences and feelings of others. Moreover, staying closeted or denying their desires has resulted in far more harmful outcomes than people who had bad experiences and turned away from sex altogether.

As I say, your feelings are yours to feel and are inherently valid for you, but trying to make a blanket conclusion that your unique traumatic experiences are why everyone should bottle up their desires is a logical fallacy.

I hope you find peace.

Again, not true at all. Denying of desire is pretty much how humans function and reach great heights or find happiness.

With sex I never really felt anything to be honest. No matter how open I was nothing they did to me really had me feeling anything. That and every guy is pretty much bad at it.

I'm not using my experience to say that, and dragging another thread into this is rather fallacious. Stick to what is here. It's pretty much well known and studied that low impulse control (or not denying your desires) leads to lower life satisfaction and unhappiness. Far more harm has been done from people who can't master their desires than from those who bottle it up.

By the way bottling it up isn't mastering it, that's also just as bad as giving in.

As I mentioned already, not every desire in your head is worth living out or doing, that's just facts. It's different when it's just in your head and a whole other matter when in real life.

yeah, I think my first few times were unpleasant too, but then I learned to relax, to breathe and to enjoy ‘giving’ myself for the pleasure of someone I loved. For me, it’s a combination of a physical pleasure and a bit of a mind-fuck which allows me to bottom. No one is right or wrong though - we’re all individuals. Best.

It's not really giving yourself though is it? Regardless I did that too and still felt nothing. To be honest it was a little nice and a little disappointing. Nice because I felt invulnerable, disappointing though because I guess I'll never know what that feels like. IT might be for the best.

 

[scribeman]

We used to joke that half the club on any given night went home to Sunday dinner with the beard and kids the following day.

God. Every single one of them had the same wallet (thanks for paying for drinks, there is no good answer to my question: "why do you have photos of 1.5 smiling children?") and the same stupid watches from an advertisement in the Economist only straight men wear. Patek Phillipe: He inherited his mother's daddy issues and his daddy's poor taste in suits.

But I can only imagine there are that many more closeted men able to move through society owing to the covert nature of electronics. Really obviates the need for anything other than a unique handle/ID. I haven't used apps for this myself, but... those poor souls are always on the fringe of the community or its very center, ruining someone's life.

 

[bigboaster]

In my experience yes and no? Back in my late teens and early twenties I had some encounters with guys who either didn't disclose their label or identified as gay/bi, and then years later I would see that some of them have now begun identifying openly as basically straight.

From 25 onward, I've not encountered any guy who openly identified as straight and then wanted to have sex so I guess I'm in the minority here. lol

 

[bigboaster]

Yes, most are probably a shade of bisexual running around with a straight label but you can't blame them from denying the bi tag when both gays and straights are often so keen to label any bisexuals as being secretly gay.

I'm a bit conflicted about this tbh lol. Because while I do agree that this does happen. I wish more people did feel comfortable with being identified as bi (despite the hate and despite the stereotypes).

But to be fair, bis are now the most populous lgbt identity based on Gallup polling in 2020 in the US. So I think more folks are looking pasts the old biphobia and embracing their bi-ness.

 

[bigboaster]

It does seem to me that in the old days, sites like Manhunt and Adam4Adam were just gay guys but now that the name Grindr has gone mainstream I see a number of guys claiming to be 'straight' but curious on there.

There's a lot of personal identity and political advantages to considering themselves "straight" and not "bisexual" (like they can ignore what happens to LGBT people if they consider themselves 'straight') but I think there are a lot more bisexual men than anyone estimates.

I do think you are more on the money than most in here are. While anyone can label themselves whatever they want. It's delusional to deny that certain labels have more advantages than others. *cough* straight *cough*

 

[Brodie888]

I'm a bit conflicted about this tbh lol. Because while I do agree that this does happen. I wish more people did feel comfortable with being identified as bi (despite the hate and despite the stereotypes).

But to be fair, bis are now the most populous lgbt identity based on Gallup polling in 2020 in the US. So I think more folks are looking pasts the old biphobia and embracing their bi-ness.

People may be more open to admitting they have sex with men and women but rather than wearing the bisexual label, many will go for some unicorn label like "pansexual" or "sexually fluid" or "non-binary". Not to take away from those who are genuinely non-binary though. It's just trendy for many bisexual people to use unfortunately.

 

[bigboaster]

People may be more open to admitting they have sex with men and women but rather than wearing the bisexual label, many will go for some unicorn label like "pansexual" or "sexually fluid" or "non-binary". Not to take away from those who are genuinely non-binary though. It's just trendy for many bisexual people to use unfortunately.

I think even more than that. The queer label has become a recent catch all umbrella for lots of people too. You essentially have gays, bi and pan people who just simply prefer queer. Definitely mostly gen Z though

 

[dfw051980]

It is my perception that more and more men claiming to be straight are looking for sex with other men. This includes men married to women. So many of the threads and comments from straight men on this LPSG forum describe their curiosity, desire, and actual participation and enjoyment of gay sex...including all forms or stroking, oral, anal, frot, and rimming.....
What are your thoughts? Thanks.

I don’t necessarily agree though I don’t think you are wrong either.
I think it’s just at this time in our society “straight” men are more willing to pursue their curious desires. Which is a good thing.

 

[Mister2101]

I don’t necessarily agree though I don’t think you are wrong either.
I think it’s just at this time in our society “straight” men are more willing to pursue their curious desires. Which is a good thing.

Thanks for your comment. have a nice day.

 

[shinok]

My perception: more & more gay & bisexual men identifying themselves as straight.