My Friends Boyfriend Might Be Into Me?

[pinkcowboy]

not entirely sure if this thread belongs here but im gonna post it here anyway.

So I’m kind of looking for advice here? To preface the situation, I am a really friendly person. When a friend of mine hangs with other people I don’t know, I try to make an effort to befriend them and always say hi to them when I see them. One of my friends recently started dating a guy and I did the same thing with him. As time has gone on we’ve hung out and like he’s chill and funny. But this one night we were drinking at his apartment and everyone went outside to have a smoke and the two of us were inside just talking. We were pretty drunk and just you know talking about whatever and I made a joke he really thought was funny and he laughed and then put his hand on my inner thigh and left it there for a few seconds. Like long enough for me to notice? Then people come back in and he moves it like nothing happened. Flash forward a month and he like makes an effort to always say hi to me and wants to hangout and apparently when I’m not at group hangouts, my other friends always say he asks where I am. Then tonight my friend, who is his gf, says that he wants to hnagout with me soon and get drunk. Like just us two getting drunk together. Keep in mind she’s back at school in another state and we are both home from school for break. I really cant tell if im reading to much into the situation or if he is actually into me? Is he just reciprocating my friendliness? Idk I’m not really sure what to do lol. If anyone has any thoughts or questions please go right ahead lol

 

[art]

Maybe he's just friendly like you are. Don't read too much into this. Hang out with the guy is you want to. If you find the night going in some unwanted direction, just stop and make it clear what your expectations and desires are. Be honest and open with the guy.

 

[Sklar]

This has disaster written all over it.

Don't do anything with him on your own. Always be in a group or have another there.

Sklar

 

[cedarizzo]

There are Red Flags everywhere! Your best bet is to never be alone with him, especially when drinking. Always have other friends/people around. You are asking for a whole lot of trouble if anything ever did happen between him and you and your friend (his girlfriend) found out about it. No matter how gay/bi he is and no matter how much he came on to you in that situation, your friend would never forgive you. Definitely not worth losing a friend over.

 

[Infernal]

I see someone getting drunk, doing something that maybe sounds fun at the moment, but he is guaranteed to have regrets the next day, then crying foul, saying he was taken advantage of and playing the victim. Way too many red flags for me.

 

[curtdude]

Dude how long and how much do you value your friendship with your friend cause once you and the boyfriend pork each other you friendship with your friend is over is it really worth losing that friendship for some dude the probibly will last less than a month the is a player and if he is doing it to your fried he will do it to you then you will have lost you friend and the player

 

[ohiorod]

As several have mentioned, red flags are waving abundantly in this situation. But, you are not helpless in dealing with it. You have probably correctly assessed the predicament and at the heart of your writing a word appears a couple times that stands out for me. That word is “drunk”. If you wish to be loyal to your friend, you can make a couple things clear to her bf: 1) you value your friendship with her and you wouldn’t do something to jeopardize your friendship and 2) express a concern that you don’t want things to get out of control due to alcohol and then act accordingly. Clearly, you posted because you have a gut feeling that this has some elements that could potentially go against what you feel is the right thing to do.

As someone who is probably college age, this is your chance to demonstrate that you have the backbone to do what feels right to you.

I am not a prude and I make no judgments about what you “should” believe in your core values; you have already implied that by posting and asking for advice. But you are at an age where those inner beliefs become operational in life. Being a friendly person, this situation could present itself multiple times in your life.

Good luck in following through on whichever course of action you decide to follow. And please, as someone’s who works in public health, i urge you to be cautious during this pandemic, especially in California, where the virus has infected/affected so many residents. Be safe!

 

[stustu]

Think about your friend. Are you interested in destroying a friendship over a quick bang
with some random man. You're likely to lose a friendship, be known for your bad decision,
and gain a maybe boy friend until he cheats again with someone else.
He is a loser - run.

 

[dreamer20]

I am a really friendly person...we’ve hung out and ...one night we were drinking at his apartment and ,.. I made a joke he really thought was funny and he laughed and then put his hand on my inner thigh and left it there for a few seconds. Like(?) Then people come back in and he moves it like nothing happened. Flash forward a month...he like makes an effort to always say hi to me my friend,his gf, says that he wants to hangout with me soon and get drunk. Like just us two getting drunk together... Is he just reciprocating my friendliness? ..I’m not really sure what to do lol.

He likes being around you Fredfred7. If you like him too then by all means associate with him. However you should find some other interest than getting blotto whenever you are together. You could do something you regret whilst drunk and /or become a pair of alcoholics someday.

 

[LilBigWang]

weather he like your or not it doesn't matter. He cannot do anything to you that you aren't willing to do. Just hang out and be yourselves. If it leads to him wanting to be with you, you can always say no and remind him he has a GF. If you are looking for validation to be with him, without guilt of your friend, that would be your moral test for yourself...