My Oblivious Friend Carlos & His Fat Cock

[ViRrOorR]

Thaat made me cum

 

[maksim428]

Good but you need to learn how to edit yourself. Part of the language feels awkward (your first language isn't English, is it?) and you go on weird "detail" tangents that could be either omitted in such a short story or included in a less obtrusive way because they do add to the world you're building here.
You have potential

Boo to your unnecessarily unkind comment. This was a great story and I appreciated ALL the detail exactly as it was.

 

[Bas bic]

Boo to your unnecessarily unkind comment. This was a great story and I appreciated ALL the detail exactly as it was.

Boo you lack critical thinking, this story could be so much better with a little editing

 

[Citiboii]

Loved this.