At the age of 37, I’m struggling with my sexuality. Watching gay porn for over 2.5 decades has gotten wanted to experiment/experience a man. I’ve came close a couple times and something happened to where I harden gone through with it. I have always said that I’m bi curious but that’s not the fact at all. I finally admitted to myself that I’m bisexual. Sometime I wonder if I’m more than that. I mean I still love women and love pussy. But it seems I love dick more and I’ve never had. I have pussy on tap and can get it from other women easily with a little convo. But I am craving men lately. Am I gay or am I just so fascinated with men to the point that I wake up and go sleep thinking about dick/ gay sex. I’ve tried to stop watching gay porn but it’s so hard. I’ve gone months at a time almost a year, then I fall victim to the dick again. Every morning I wake up, I go on my X/Twitter acct and indulge in some dick or gay sex before I take my morning piss. Periodically throughout day I look at it, when I’m bored, when I get anxious and need to calm down. It really calms me. It doesn’t help that I have a homophonic girlfriend, she claims she isn’t. But anytime she men kissing on movies, shows or anytime she’s on her X acct, she hollers ewww “I don’t want to see that shit”. If only she knew, I want to do the same. It took me a long time to admit I attracted to men or want to kiss them. At first, I just wanted to be versatile with them. But I indeed want to kiss them go down on them, 69 anything I’ll do with a woman. I have type of man that im attracted to. I don’t know what to do, I want to experience gay sex but I don’t want to be outted or anything until I’m ready to say something. But I want some dick and some ass.
Need some advice….
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malakos
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This is fucking stupid. Way to pathologize normal relationship jealousy. If she knew you wanted to kiss other people she'd probably primarily be upset that you want to cheat on her. Homophobia isn't of great consequence here. Being bisexual doesn't justify wanting to cheat on your partner.
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If I wanted to cheat I would’ve done it by now. I never said I wanted to cheat. Basically I was saying she hates to men kissing one another not know that I want to do the same.
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To be honest just dump her, explore your sexuality, reflect yourself and see what you prefer.
You need to experiment, if that means finding a different girlfriend, then you should do it. From reading the threads over on the Bi Forum, it seems that the biggest regret that bi men have is not starting sooner. People are much more open minded these days and you stand a good chance of finding share your interests.
Definitely bisexual.
Definitely not gay.
Definitely should not be in a monogamous relationship with a woman.
Most likely into men more than women.
Most likely will regret not acting on your feelings later in life.
Most likely doesn't realize that if he was a single man fucking men and women from apps, he doesn't have to tell the whole world anything.
Definitely not gay.
Definitely should not be in a monogamous relationship with a woman.
Most likely into men more than women.
Most likely will regret not acting on your feelings later in life.
Most likely doesn't realize that if he was a single man fucking men and women from apps, he doesn't have to tell the whole world anything.
malakos
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Well, get your story straight, because in your original post you stated you want to kiss men, which would be cheating on your gf.
Wanting and doing is do different things. Cheating is an act, cause you actually have to do it, to cheat.
I think you'll be stuck in this ambivalent overthinking until you actually go ahead and experiment for real, that's your only solution as far as I can see.
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I have met many ex straight men who discovered their sexuality in their late 40s-50s. All of them expressed their regret to not embrace it earlier and they wasted all these years of doing nothing/subduing. @alphamale175 need to be out there and I’m pretty sure gay people will be open to you.
malakos
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Except that you said if you had wanted to cheat you would. So according to what you said earlier that distinction is irrelevant in your case.
ILoveGames48
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I grew up not really knowing much about straight sex gay sex.. I just had sex .. and when with someone for longer periods of time that wasn’t a one night roll in the sack.. I had sex with other guys and even women.. ..
And now I am married and I won’t lie when I say I want to have sex with other guys .. and my other half says same thing g as I do.. as long we both agree to it then it’s fine with him ..
Not too many guys want to be with my husband (ftm) — but a friend of his never really thought about it .. but wouldn’t say no.. so a threesome is possible in future ..
I don’t consider it cheating as long as both parties in the relationship know about it and agree to it
And now I am married and I won’t lie when I say I want to have sex with other guys .. and my other half says same thing g as I do.. as long we both agree to it then it’s fine with him ..
Not too many guys want to be with my husband (ftm) — but a friend of his never really thought about it .. but wouldn’t say no.. so a threesome is possible in future ..
I don’t consider it cheating as long as both parties in the relationship know about it and agree to it
Not sure why there’s a bit much judgement here for the OP, but I get you… I’m in a similar boat. Don’t have an answer, but I feel your pain. I know you didn’t say you were going to cheat, and that’s not even the point. But the situation is complex. Sex is a domain where for some it is very private and a source of sanctity where for others, it is something that can be shared more liberally without such strict judgement.
But if you want to keep the lines clean… how much do you like your gf? If not much, maybe time to let her go so you can go after the dick you’ve craved for, guilt free…
But if you want to keep the lines clean… how much do you like your gf? If not much, maybe time to let her go so you can go after the dick you’ve craved for, guilt free…
Sturdywords
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First of all, being bisexual does NOT mean you cannot be monogamous. But if you want to experiment and you value your relationship you should discuss it with her. She doesn't sound as if she would be very sympathetic, however. There is no easy answer, but just know that this is a very common issue.
Stephenmass
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Based on her reactions to other things in your current relationship, you already know the way she feels if you "came out" as potentially bi to her. So it boils down to if you are relatively certain you want to experiment, it would always be around her and cheating basically. Not sure how long you've been with her and so forth. So many choices I guess and different ways to do things. The number of married guys that never scratched their male itch would surprise you. Then it comes out later in life and now you have a marriage to work around or not. You seem fairly certain you are at least bi? Best advice I can give you is just be certain that it's something you want to explore before you go there. I know some guys in marriages to a woman that are still sneaking behind their backs for a "dick fix". Hope you figure it out. In any event, you ever want to write or whatever, not to hook up or anything, but for an ear to listen, hit me up sometime.
