New Roomate/male Bonding

[deleted1539242]

By chance, I once overheard how a man, I shall call "Jay", bodly dealt with your same situation. When he spoke to his intended roommate, "Silent Bob", about the advantages of them living together - one such advantage was "As there are no girls around you ( Silent Bob) would be able to walk around naked". They were comfortable being nude around each other, however you don't know if your friend will be. As you will be living together, simply ask if he has any issues with being nude around you and vice versa. If he responds "No" , be mindful of his feelings and accept the fact that you won't be seeing him nude.

my goal was never to see him nude but just to let him know it’s okay to wear as much or as little as he wanted
also YOU get what i was saying lol

 

[deleted12976491]

I agree with the others, just set the precedent yourself

 

[hot showers]

Guys don’t talk about this sort of stuff…Just do what you want and let him do what he wants. If you are comfortable naked he’ll open up, or not.

I agree with this approach. I also think it's worth distinguishing between incidental nudity and nudist-level nudity. I lived with various guys over the years and always had approached it with a locker-room mindset...that incidental nudity, for instance when going between my bedroom and bathroom is completely normal for an all-male living arrangement. I established pretty quickly each time that I have no inhibitions about my roommate seeing my dick. In some cases, they'd reciprocate and that would open the door for a little more openness, like establishing that it's ok to to use the sink while the other one is showering, etc. If they didn't reciprocate, I just kept the nudity to basic the incidental/locker-room approach

 

[Nudie Rick]

I agree with this approach. I also think it's worth distinguishing between incidental nudity and nudist-level nudity. I lived with various guys over the years and always had approached it with a locker-room mindset...that incidental nudity, for instance when going between my bedroom and bathroom is completely normal for an all-male living arrangement. I established pretty quickly each time that I have no inhibitions about my roommate seeing my dick. In some cases, they'd reciprocate and that would open the door for a little more openness, like establishing that it's ok to to use the sink while the other one is showering, etc. If they didn't reciprocate, I just kept the nudity to basic the incidental/locker-room approach

When i shared houses with guys in the past, I've always taken this kind of approach. Not gone out of my way to be naked (or o cover up), and initially being fairly discreet about walking between bedroom and bathroom, not locking door while showering
etc. until i gauged their reaction. Only one housemate ever really responded by showing he was relaxed about doing the same - we ended up being pretty open with each other - using bathroom while the other was in the bath/shower, sitting around in our boxer shorts - even sharing a bedroom, for a few weeks while decorating, and sleeping/moving around naked.
However, before signing a lease, you might prefer to raise the question casually eg " By the way, I sleep naked and like to hang out in my boxers - would you be cool with that, or should I only do it in my own room?" He might surprise you by saying "Oh brill, I'm the same!" or "that's fine as long as you don't expect me to join in", or "Ew, that's kinda gross - I'd rather not know!"

 

[H.ricky]

so i need help. i recently asked my friend( yes just a friend. i dont wanna fuck him or have a crush on him) if he wanted to get our own place together. that’s still in the process.

okay so i didnt really have an open childhood liek some of y’all. my parents weren’t prudes but there wasn’t really any male nudity going on so since i’m gonna have my own place i’m gonna make my own rules.

i wanna approach my friend about our place being open. like if you don’t wanna wear underwear don’t, if you don’t wanna wear shorts don’t, don’t wanna wear a shirt ever don’t.
i know he doesn’t wear underwear (he told me) but i don’t know how often or if it was just that day and i have no idea if he’s cool with being so casual and open.

what i need is how you would approach a good friend with this. like the whole conversation if you would. i know more or less what the gist of what i wanna say is but i’m the type of person who likes to have as much input as i can cause what if you bring up something i missed that could convince him, ya know?
also if hes cool but uncomfortable doing it himself how can i make him comfortable enough to participate? like what could a friend do to make you comfortable with them being open and casual?

ultimately i know all i can do is tell him it’s okay and that it’s an option for him but we’re 2 young ppp moving out of our parents like let’s live a little

I grew up in a very relaxed household where my family was/are basically nudists and when people were just chilling around no one wore anything or not much

I like to be nude so that’s something I’ve always carried with me

I now live with my two friends who I went to college with and we all basically chill in the nude.

Two of us were in the same dorm freshmen year with 4 other dudes so it was 6 in total. I don’t believe we ever verbalized a precedent but majority of slept nude so walking to and from the bathroom no one bothered to put anything on. Some lounged in their boxers or like me I don’t wear underwear so when I do lounge i wrap a towel around. No one cared we all were very comfortable with each other.

I say all of that to say just do what you want to do and what your roommate wants to do he will do. Let it be a natural thing. And you’d noticed once you let things be that will open the door to have conversations about things. For example night one in college in my triple we all noticed we all sleep naked and laughed about it but that wasn’t a conversation that was planned so yeah don’t overthink

hope it helps

 

[Jordan88]

User deleted? So i guess there will never be an update

 

[AceWilde]

I know it's an old thread but I recently actually dealt with this exact situation and what I did might help some guys.

Basically a buddy of mine and I are moving in together after living alone for a while. As we were talking about "apartment rules" for noise, bringing people over, and stuff like that, one that I brought up was the fact that when we are both alone at our places we don't wear much clothes all the time, and how that would translate to us living together. We have visited each other a lot so we aren't new to seeing each other like that, and we've just hung out in various states of undress, so we are pretty comfortable, and I didn't see any reason to stop that vibe, but I wanted to lay down some rules. So we discussed making sure the other person knows when someone is over or coming over so they can put something on before walking into the kitchen. And most importantly (for me) the rule that if you're going to be nude you need to put a towel down on any furniture you're sitting on. LOL

Was it an awkward conversation? Kind of, but it was mostly painless and it turned out he'd been thinking about it too. So it worked out in the end.

 

[chrisrobin]

After my divorce I was adamant my boys wouldn't grow up afraid of their own bodies so most of the time at home it was clothes optional. When they went to uni it never crossed their minds other guys they'd share with would have nudity problems, so, they behaved like at home. One shred with a single guy and the other son shred with two guys. By midterm, no rules were mentioned or discussed the guys were all sleeping naked and got dressed to leave. When they got back for the second term they couldn't wait to be in the buff, one described it as being so liberating. So really it doesn't need to be a full-on discussion of rules to be broken, go with the flow, or start the flow.

 

[Tony56]

I might have posted this here - I know that I have posted it somewhere - so pardon me if this is a repeat.

When I was about 30/31 friends of mine asked if their 18 year old son could live with me while he attended the local community college. The plan was he would do that for a year and then matriculate to a 4 year college. I already knew Sam (not his real name) and we were friendly so I agreed to that, I figured it could be nice having someone else around the house since I lived alone.

The one thing that I did wonder about was that, like most single men, I did not wear much clothing around the house. Typically just boxer shorts and maybe a t-shirt. When I showered I would spend nude time in the bathroom shaving, brushing teeth, etc., to fully dry off down there. And I walked back and forth to the shower nude - why not?

So I didn't know how Sam would react to that and I didn't want him going back to his parents and tell them that Mr. XYZ walked around nude. He did play sports in high school and this was back in the day when boys showered after PE and sports, so I was hopinging he wouldn't be too shy. But I figured it would take a while to get a sense of that. I was wrong !

On the day that Sam moved in I helped him get things into his room and I left him to get unpacked and I went into the living room to watch some TV - it was summer so I was dressed in shorts and either a short sleeved shirt or possibly just a t-shirt - but not hanging out in my boxer shorts which I normally would be.
After about 10 minutes Sam came bounding out of his room and plopped himself on the sofa next to me stripped all the way down to just his boxer shorts! He didn't ask me if that was OK with me (of course it was!) it just seemed natural to him. And then I realized that things would be just fine with him as my roommate.

Sam had two sisters at home and his walking around nearly nude (or even nude) was one of the issues he was having living at home.

 

[Linkguy13]

I've had so many roommates over the years and some of the guys were comfortable to be naked or see me naked. Then I had other ones that was uncomfortable with me in my towel or boxers. I had roommates I could lay in bed naked and masturbate no problem. Just asking was a bad.

 

[Lucius2s1]

I've had so many roommates over the years and some of the guys were comfortable to be naked or see me naked. Then I had other ones that was uncomfortable with me in my towel or boxers. I had roommates I could lay in bed naked and masturbate no problem. Just asking was a bad.

Pretty awesome man

 

[Linkguy13]

Pretty awesome man

I enjoyed all of them. I will be looking for a new one soon.