Not a psychologist. Not an expert. Not anything anyone could consider as someone in the know on this at all. Though from my personal experiences this rings true for an insane amount of people i've met over the years and myself. So i figured why not try to bring it to other people's attention. Maybe it could help them to better understand themselves like it did me.
Keep in mind. This isn't just a heterosexual thing. This is a lgbtq community thing as well.
With that said, object constancy.
[form constancy the ability to recognize forms and objects as the same in spite of variation in environment, position, and size.
object constancy the capacity to understand that an absent person or object exists and will return.]
Now here's a more expansive explanation of what it is.
Object Constancy: Understanding the Fear of Abandonment and Borderline Personality Disorder
[Most people can withstand some degree of relational ambiguity, and not be entirely consumed by worrying about potential rejection. When we argue with our loved ones, we can later bounce back from the negative event. When they are not physically by our side, we have an underlying trust that we are on their mind. All these involve something called Object Constancy, the ability to maintain an emotional bond with others even where there are distance and conflicts. ]
[In adulthood, Object Constancy allows us to trust that our bond with those who are close to us remains whole even when they are not physically around, picking up the phone, replying to our texts, or even frustrated at us. With Object Constancy, absence does not mean disappearance or abandonment, only temporary distance. ]
And now, how it could relate to relationships we may have had, may currently be in and may soon get into.
Narcissists aren't capable of something called 'object constancy' — and it helps explain why they are so cruel to the people they date
[We're all guilty of saying hurtful things in the heat of the moment. Every relationship has its ups and downs, usually resulting in arguments, but these don't necessarily mean you're going to break up. When we quarrel with our loved ones, most of us have the ability not to do too much damage. This is because of something called object constancy. It basically means having the ability to still have a positive emotional bond with someone when you are also feeling angry, hurt, or disappointed with them. It also means being able to feel emotionally connected to that person when they are not physically around you.]
[To most of us, this is a given, and we can move past the little things. However, to those with narcissistic personality disorder, or people who are psychopathic or sociopathic with narcissistic traits, the negative feelings they have towards someone in the moment are all they can focus on.
If you date a narcissist, chances are they saw you as a worthy target, then they love bombed you into thinking they were your perfect match. They target strong, successful people to prey on partly because they like a challenge, and partly because it makes them look good. However, then they start breaking down your spirit with their abusive, gaslighting behaviour, then discard you suddenly and brutally.]
So yeah, hope it helps someone.
Keep in mind. This isn't just a heterosexual thing. This is a lgbtq community thing as well.
With that said, object constancy.
[form constancy the ability to recognize forms and objects as the same in spite of variation in environment, position, and size.
object constancy the capacity to understand that an absent person or object exists and will return.]
Now here's a more expansive explanation of what it is.
Object Constancy: Understanding the Fear of Abandonment and Borderline Personality Disorder
[Most people can withstand some degree of relational ambiguity, and not be entirely consumed by worrying about potential rejection. When we argue with our loved ones, we can later bounce back from the negative event. When they are not physically by our side, we have an underlying trust that we are on their mind. All these involve something called Object Constancy, the ability to maintain an emotional bond with others even where there are distance and conflicts. ]
[In adulthood, Object Constancy allows us to trust that our bond with those who are close to us remains whole even when they are not physically around, picking up the phone, replying to our texts, or even frustrated at us. With Object Constancy, absence does not mean disappearance or abandonment, only temporary distance. ]
And now, how it could relate to relationships we may have had, may currently be in and may soon get into.
Narcissists aren't capable of something called 'object constancy' — and it helps explain why they are so cruel to the people they date
[We're all guilty of saying hurtful things in the heat of the moment. Every relationship has its ups and downs, usually resulting in arguments, but these don't necessarily mean you're going to break up. When we quarrel with our loved ones, most of us have the ability not to do too much damage. This is because of something called object constancy. It basically means having the ability to still have a positive emotional bond with someone when you are also feeling angry, hurt, or disappointed with them. It also means being able to feel emotionally connected to that person when they are not physically around you.]
[To most of us, this is a given, and we can move past the little things. However, to those with narcissistic personality disorder, or people who are psychopathic or sociopathic with narcissistic traits, the negative feelings they have towards someone in the moment are all they can focus on.
If you date a narcissist, chances are they saw you as a worthy target, then they love bombed you into thinking they were your perfect match. They target strong, successful people to prey on partly because they like a challenge, and partly because it makes them look good. However, then they start breaking down your spirit with their abusive, gaslighting behaviour, then discard you suddenly and brutally.]
So yeah, hope it helps someone.
