Partner wants a threesome

[Jesse479]

What I think you are asking is how did we started discussing opening up our relationship? And there is no "the" way of doing it.

Like what did you guys talk about?

I opened up the discussion one day by approaching my partner and I asked her directly how she felt about having a non-monogamous relationship. Because she is a direct person and likes to get straight to the point. So I discussed why I would like to go in that direction in our relationship. We freely exchanged our ideas and you need to be prepared to explain, listen and have long discussions. Be prepared to get pushback. And be prepared to discuss in a fully objective manner the pros and cons of opening up the relationship. You want to explain how the relationship will be benefit both people not just yourself, that is, you want it to be a win-win situation for you and your partner.

What ways were you able to feel comfortable with opening the relationship?

As I stated above, you need agree that the relationship will be beneficial for both people. And not because there is some deficiency in the relationship. An open relationship will not cure any ills that a couple has.

Was it something you both wanted equally?

Yes...obviously.

Did you guys put any boundaries?

Absolutely...YES.

And the ground rules will vary from couple to couple. You have to make them reasonable in nature, that is, not to restrictive or near limitless behavior.

I would strongly discourage cuckolding. Embarrassing or shaming your partner never works out. Nor do these couples who go out and play and say that they don't have sex with anybody separately...claiming that we will only go out and play together. That's open-relationship lite. That would never work for us.

I hope that answers your questions. Let us know what else you have. I'm sure that others here will be glad to give you some feedback. I strongly suggest that you ask direct questions instead of open ended ones. You will be able to get higher quality feedback. And please keep all inquiries on the board. I don't respond to DMs.

Thank you so much!

 

[Jesse479]

What I think you are asking is how did we started discussing opening up our relationship? And there is no "the" way of doing it.

Like what did you guys talk about?

I opened up the discussion one day by approaching my partner and I asked her directly how she felt about having a non-monogamous relationship. Because she is a direct person and likes to get straight to the point. So I discussed why I would like to go in that direction in our relationship. We freely exchanged our ideas and you need to be prepared to explain, listen and have long discussions. Be prepared to get pushback. And be prepared to discuss in a fully objective manner the pros and cons of opening up the relationship. You want to explain how the relationship will be benefit both people not just yourself, that is, you want it to be a win-win situation for you and your partner.

What ways were you able to feel comfortable with opening the relationship?

As I stated above, you need agree that the relationship will be beneficial for both people. And not because there is some deficiency in the relationship. An open relationship will not cure any ills that a couple has.

Was it something you both wanted equally?

Yes...obviously.

Did you guys put any boundaries?

Absolutely...YES.

And the ground rules will vary from couple to couple. You have to make them reasonable in nature, that is, not to restrictive or near limitless behavior.

I would strongly discourage cuckolding. Embarrassing or shaming your partner never works out. Nor do these couples who go out and play and say that they don't have sex with anybody separately...claiming that we will only go out and play together. That's open-relationship lite. That would never work for us.

I hope that answers your questions. Let us know what else you have. I'm sure that others here will be glad to give you some feedback. I strongly suggest that you ask direct questions instead of open ended ones. You will be able to get higher quality feedback. And please keep all inquiries on the board. I don't respond to DMs.

We’ve been discussing it for a while now and when we got into this relationship they told me that they were interested in one day having a threesome or something more, I was a bit concerned but I like to think of myself as someone who is open to new experiences and I love my partner, plus there’s a curiosity about how the threesome or how the open relationship would work. I think my reservations lie in that I overthink things too much and sometimes I wonder how I would feel knowing that my partner is in that day, you know, doing something sexual with someone else. I know that I have insecurities because I’ve been hurt many times before, I’ve been cheated on and I’ve been discarded so I understand that. I just don’t know how’d I’d feel about my partner meeting with a regular fuck buddy or FWB and doing stuff. I don’t know, emotionally, how’d I feel about it.

 

[elklindoxxx]

We’ve been discussing it for a while now and when we got into this relationship they told me that they were interested in one day having a threesome or something more, I was a bit concerned but I like to think of myself as someone who is open to new experiences and I love my partner, plus there’s a curiosity about how the threesome or how the open relationship would work. I think my reservations lie in that I overthink things too much and sometimes I wonder how I would feel knowing that my partner is in that day, you know, doing something sexual with someone else. I know that I have insecurities because I’ve been hurt many times before, I’ve been cheated on and I’ve been discarded so I understand that. I just don’t know how’d I’d feel about my partner meeting with a regular fuck buddy or FWB and doing stuff. I don’t know, emotionally, how’d I feel about it.

One of the reasons in having an open relationship is that you are going to explore your sexuality. And having sexual relations with multiple partners comes with the territory. If you cannot reconcile that, then having an open relationship may not be for you.

That being said....it's beneficial for you to go over the pros and cons of such a relationship. My partner and I went over it and we found that the pros outweighed the cons. And as a result it supercharged our sex lives.

 

[Jesse479]

One of the reasons in having an open relationship is that you are going to explore your sexuality. And having sexual relations with multiple partners comes with the territory. If you cannot reconcile that, then having an open relationship may not be for you.

That being said....it's beneficial for you to go over the pros and cons of such a relationship. My partner and I went over it and we found that the pros outweighed the cons. And as a result it supercharged our sex lives.

It is about exploring our sexuality but I think it’s also about maybe doing things that my partner doesn’t feel comfortable doing. For my partner, from what I understand it’s about exploring and experiencing something new. I’m trying to look at it from a logical standpoint and not from an emotional one.

 

[BiAlex39]

My partner and I have been together for 1 year and 6 months and they’ve expressed that in the future, maybe 3-4 years into our relationship they would like to have a threesome. The prospect or idea of having a threesome with them makes me feel uneasy and it’s also an unsettling feeling. I don’t know how I feel about it maybe because we’re a new couple. I love them very much and I understand why they’d desire a threesome but it also makes me feel uncomfortable at the thought of another man kissing them or penetrating them. I don’t know how to feel about this. Are they being selfish? They sort of mentioned it to me as if it were an ultimatum or if I thought it was a dealbreaker the idea of us having a threesome but the way they said seemed very cold and it made me feel like I don’t even have an option or an opinion on the matter.

Mmmmm my fantasy is to be with two young guys…
I often jackoff and think about being taken in the ass and mouth at the same time

 

[Justahardync]

This is intriguing, my husband is wanting the same

 

[Sagittarius84]

when we got into this relationship they told me that they were interested in one day having a threesome or something more, I was a bit concerned but I like to think of myself as someone who is open to new experiences and I love my partner, plus there’s a curiosity about how the threesome or how the open relationship would work.

Full stop, this is what you need to resolve, yesterday...because if I'm being completely honest, what I'm hearing is, "I prefer a monogamous relationship with my partner, but I don't want to accept the consequences or the societal stigma of not allowing openness in my relationship."
You can't have both.
"Open to new experiences" is generic bait offered by not so adventurous folks whom don't want their personal boundaries preselected out by attractive adventurous folk. It's not malevolent, but it's deceptive, manipulative as well. There are plenty of ways to find out the intricacies of threesomes and open relationships that don't involve actually engaging in them, but I think deep down you knew how attractive your probable participation in one would be against simply wanting to know the mechanics of how they worked and you made a conscious choice (even with the best of intentions) to sweeten your pot, as it were.
I personally understand the, "aren't I enough" question, but the moment you vaguely defined your "enough" as being game for this, I think you forfeited the privilege of asking your partner that...at this point I think you need to meditate and come to your partner with a definitive stance as to your willingness to participate in a threesome 1st, right now as is, and ask them if nothing were to change from that could they stay, without trying to change your mind. Might be the end of your relationship, might be an opportunity for your partner to demonstrate a level of compromise and cooperation that will make you love them even more....but it has to start with a definitive yes or no from you without any case building at play if you want it to be true to yourself.

 

[Jesse479]

Full stop, this is what you need to resolve, yesterday...because if I'm being completely honest, what I'm hearing is, "I prefer a monogamous relationship with my partner, but I don't want to accept the consequences or the societal stigma of not allowing openness in my relationship."
You can't have both.
"Open to new experiences" is generic bait offered by not so adventurous folks whom don't want their personal boundaries preselected out by attractive adventurous folk. It's not malevolent, but it's deceptive, manipulative as well. There are plenty of ways to find out the intricacies of threesomes and open relationships that don't involve actually engaging in them, but I think deep down you knew how attractive your probable participation in one would be against simply wanting to know the mechanics of how they worked and you made a conscious choice (even with the best of intentions) to sweeten your pot, as it were.
I personally understand the, "aren't I enough" question, but the moment you vaguely defined your "enough" as being game for this, I think you forfeited the privilege of asking your partner that...at this point I think you need to meditate and come to your partner with a definitive stance as to your willingness to participate in a threesome 1st, right now as is, and ask them if nothing were to change from that could they stay, without trying to change your mind. Might be the end of your relationship, might be an opportunity for your partner to demonstrate a level of compromise and cooperation that will make you love them even more....but it has to start with a definitive yes or no from you without any case building at play if you want it to be true to yourself.

Oh wow! I feel like I could really sit down and have a real conversation with you, the way you just laid it out like that, incredible! Damn if you don’t mind me asking… where are you from? This is some legit amazing advice, I appreciate you.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Oh wow! I feel like I could really sit down and have a real conversation with you, the way you just laid it out like that, incredible! Damn if you don’t mind me asking… where are you from? This is some legit amazing advice, I appreciate you.

Midwest USA, born on the West Coast.

 

[Jesse479]

T

Midwest USA, born on the West Coast.

thanks for sharing that. So I’m more of a traditionalist I guess, I’ve always had this vision of me falling in love and being with someone for the rest of my life but I guess those thoughts and ideas are now being challenged. Im curios about a threesome even tho I was part of a one and it wasn’t all that… but I understand that my partner wants to experience that, and they want to experience that with me but opening up the relationship is another story, it’s a lot more complex and I’m a jealous kind of guy. But I don’t know I want to research more about it and I think that I won’t actually know how I feel about it until I actually experience it. I don’t know…