Question for my fellow fat gays. How are we hooking up in 2025?

[AsherStClaire]

I want to know how other plus-sized/fat men (and specifically Black Chubs) are getting their sexual needs met in 2025

Long story short (and potentially TMI), I've been trying to find a play partner for the past year to help me get better at sucking dick. I give great head but I want to eventually be able to deep-throat, etc. Finding someone who is down for this has been a monumental task. I'm not opposed to chasers, but I've never been approached by one.

I'm upfront with my size and my goals, and I the tone I write in is a casual, non-hyper sexual/aggresive style.
I also don't hesitate to send body picks when asked even when I know the inevitable will happen.

I've tried Doublelist, The Blowers, Grindr, and Reddit (surprisingly I had the most success on reddit). I've had some very very mild one-time successes setting up glory-holes in motel rooms, but I haven't found the kind of arrangement that I'm actually looking for.

I know that there are fat men fucking and sucking out there, like how are y'all getting it done because I'm at a loss at this point? And I'd further ask this question specifically to other Fat Black Men because what works for other people doesn't always translate for us.

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

 

[BlackBearCognac]

I've found the Growlr app has men a bit more receptive to chubs, but being Black is still difficult.

What Reddit forums do you visit?

 

[AsherStClaire]

I've found the Growlr app has men a bit more receptive to chubs, but being Black is still difficult.

What Reddit forums do you visit?

mainly my local ones. So like the ones that say <insert city/state here>r4r so like, Clevelandr4r or NYCr4r. It makes it a lost easier to cater to local potental hookups.

 

[coklvr83]

I just happened to stumble on this thread. I'm not "of size" so to speak, but have you tried FetLife? lots of meets are advertised in there.

 

[AsherStClaire]

I just happened to stumble on this thread. I'm not "of size" so to speak, but have you tried FetLife? lots of meets are advertised in there.

I'm on fetlife and I've put a few feelers out there and didn't get much traction. I'll do a deeper dive and try again sometime! I might've just been intimidated by the amount of straight people content though.

 

[BlackBearCognac]

mainly my local ones. So like the ones that say <insert city/state here>r4r so like, Clevelandr4r or NYCr4r. It makes it a lost easier to cater to local potental hookups.

Ah, cool. I never knew those subreddits existed. I'll check them out.

 

[coklvr83]

I'm on fetlife and I've put a few feelers out there and didn't get much traction. I'll do a deeper dive and try again sometime! I might've just been intimidated by the amount of straight people content though.

you have to go into the gay specific groups

 

[AsherStClaire]

you have to go into the gay specific groups

The gay specific groups in my area are kinda dead and honestly from what I've seen so far the actual queer male presence on Fetlife is waaaaay smaller than I thought it would be. But that could also just be my apprehension to fully dive into the community.

 

[slim dickens]

I’m very skinny and I like/love some cushion. Plus being slim means I can dig in all the way

 

[PinkBabySlut3]

I get more action per messages sent on Sniffies than anywhere else, followed by A4a, then Grindr. Grindr is the most known, but they're also the most flakey for me. I have a few leads in Reddit and Fetlife, but I haven't acted on them yet. I'm mostly looking to give head, but I'd probably have more success if I did anal more.

 

[AsherStClaire]

I get more action per messages sent on Sniffies than anywhere else, followed by A4a, then Grindr. Grindr is the most known, but they're also the most flakey for me. I have a few leads in Reddit and Fetlife, but I haven't acted on them yet. I'm mostly looking to give head, but I'd probably have more success if I did anal more.

I'm very much in the same boat where right now I'm just looking to suck.
It's insane the amount of effort we have to go through just to suck a dick
I've had some interaction on Sniffies but it's not really designed for what I'm looking for.

 

[MightyTall]

Im not planning to hook up much. I had some success here and there but the juice is not worth the squeeze.

The effort to put in to have some action is not worth it. There is a lot of factors out of my control

 

[MightyTall]

Im not planning to hook up much. I had some success here and there but the juice is not worth the squeeze.

The effort to put in to have some action is not worth it. There is a lot of factors out of my control

I might as well vent since I got stood up a few minutes ago.

Hooking up sucks. I feel undesirable. I feel like there is something wrong with me. I been turn down because I’m either fat, that I’m black, that I’m a student, or where I live etc.

Then when I get a hook up. I’m praying that they don’t stand me up.

I also hate being fetishized but I put up with it because that the only way I can some action.

 

[Jaxs099]

I recently got fucked by a big guy who was 6’ 270 lbs played football but OMG had the biggest and thickest dick I’ve seen in my life!! I was lucky to take it twice. Have pics if you’re curious to see. Was really mind blown and addicting

 

[Nobody012341]

I recently got fucked by a big guy who was 6’ 270 lbs played football but OMG had the biggest and thickest dick I’ve seen in my life!! I was lucky to take it twice. Have pics if you’re curious to see. Was really mind blown and addicting

Can i see?

 

[DiE_EnE]

I recently got fucked by a big guy who was 6’ 270 lbs played football but OMG had the biggest and thickest dick I’ve seen in my life!! I was lucky to take it twice. Have pics if you’re curious to see. Was really mind blown and addicting

Post the pics please