Questions I have always been to shy to ask

[j49xklqozrn]

Hi all,

I've been out and gay for most of my life but have been together with my partner since almost the beginning, as was he. We are both curious about a lot of things but have no one to ask! Here are my questions:

1. do guys sometimes suck dicks after they were in the bottoms ass? Do you get sick (sore throat? stomach flu?) from doing this? do you taste shit?

2. same questions as 1 with rimming

3. how do we get over our anxiety about taking sexual risks? we talk about having sex in the car or in a public washroom but we chicken out usually. any tips?

4. do you cum everytime you have sex? Or rather, is it still sex if you didn't cum? How do you personally define sex?

5. do you have any suggestions on sexual things we can do to introduce us to new experiences? at this point we usually just jerk each other, blow each other and frot or rub against each other.

6. One issue is that my partner can cum really quickly (uncut) but it takes me (cut) a longer time. any suggestions on how to cum faster?

I think that's all for now <3

 

[briacon429]

Hey man! Here are my thoughts:

1. do guys sometimes suck dicks after they were in the bottoms ass? Do you get sick (sore throat? stomach flu?) from doing this? do you taste shit?

The risk is never zero, but if the bottom is clean, you shouldn’t taste anything bad, much less get sick. If a mess does happen, you’ll usually smell it beforehand. In other words, if you‘re prepared properly, and if you don’t smell anything, you should be fine.

2. same questions as 1 with rimming

Similar answer: if the bottom is clean, you should have nothing to worry about. For me personally, I found rimming was a lot more fun than I expected!

3. how do we get over our anxiety about taking sexual risks? we talk about having sex in the car or in a public washroom but we chicken out usually. any tips?

I wouldn’t think of it as chickening out. You definitely want to be careful about having sex in public! If you don’t feel comfortable or safe, don’t do it.

That said, if you have fantasies you can act out safely, go for it! For example, if you wanted to have sex on a kitchen table or something, you can usually do that behind closed doors. Or if you wanted to invite someone to join you, you could try that too.

4. do you cum everytime you have sex? Or rather, is it still sex if you didn't cum? How do you personally define sex?

No, you don’t need to cum every time. It’s awesome if you do! But it’s perfectly possible to have an edge sesh when you just fool around without cumming.

I don’t think it makes any real-world difference whether you call it sex or not. But for the record, I consider sex to be anytime you’re penetrating each other, anally or orally. So yes, if you give a quick bj but he doesn’t cum, I’d still consider that sex.

5. do you have any suggestions on sexual things we can do to introduce us to new experiences? at this point we usually just jerk each other, blow each other and frot or rub against each other.

It depends on what you want to try! What do you fantasize about? What kinds of porn do you like?

It sounds like you’re still pretty new to gay sex, so I’d encourage you to try whatever turns you on. You do need to go at your own pace: like I said before, you always want to wait till you’re comfortable. Sometimes that does mean taking a while till you’re both ready. But if you take it one step at a time, and maybe try one new thing at a time, you’ll get there!

6. One issue is that my partner can cum really quickly (uncut) but it takes me (cut) a longer time. any suggestions on how to cum faster?

Everybody is different, so it’s normal that you don’t both cum at the same time. But if you want to cum faster, I’d suggest more foreplay beforehand. For example, he could start by worshiping your cock and maybe giving you a bj. You could even watch some porn by yourself before you do anything with him. That way you’re nice and horny to start with, and you may not take as long to cum.

I hope that helps! If you wanna chat privately, my DMs are open.

 

[Brodie888]

Hi all,

I've been out and gay for most of my life but have been together with my partner since almost the beginning, as was he. We are both curious about a lot of things but have no one to ask! Here are my questions:

1. do guys sometimes suck dicks after they were in the bottoms ass? Do you get sick (sore throat? stomach flu?) from doing this? do you taste shit?

Yes they do. I personally would not advise doing this as bacteria are invisible and these bacteria eg E. Coli can make you sick. If you can taste it, you are definitely eating bacteria.

2. same questions as 1 with rimming

If a bottom washes with soap before sex the amount of bacteria is significantly less and is much less of a risk.

3. how do we get over our anxiety about taking sexual risks? we talk about having sex in the car or in a public washroom but we chicken out usually. any tips?

My suggestion is to start going to places that are legal yet public first such as saunas etc. Then you can move to nude beaches where sex areas are usually located in the bushes behind (common but illegal).

The places you have mentioned are very illegal and can be difficult to be discrete. If caught or recorded, you may face legal consequences.

Something I have always done with my partner is to have sex in front of the windows in hotel rooms. So at least if someone complains you have plausible deniability.

4. do you cum everytime you have sex? Or rather, is it still sex if you didn't cum? How do you personally define sex?

No. I personally only like to cum while being fucked. Sometimes the timing is off and I am no where near or vice versa. We just make sure the score is settled the next time.

Another example is I love spending a long time sucking my partner's cock. I give an amazing blowjob but If we are doing 69, I find I can't enjoy sucking him as much and the quality of my service also is below standard.

So sometimes we will take turns giving blowjobs too.

Whether you cum or not, it is still sex. Sex is when two people perform sexual acts on each other regardless of the outcome or configuration. Sex is not just anal penetration.

5. do you have any suggestions on sexual things we can do to introduce us to new experiences? at this point we usually just jerk each other, blow each other and frot or rub against each other.

What you are describing is normal. If you are both happy with that, then there is no reason to change.

Having said that, my advice is for you both to experiment on your own first to find out what you enjoy and once you figure it out, show and tell your partner what you would like to try.

6. One issue is that my partner can cum really quickly (uncut) but it takes me (cut) a longer time. any suggestions on how to cum faster?

I think that's all for now <3

The key here is to have him signal to you when he is close by grabing your hand or saying stop. Then as the feeling subsides (usually say 10 seconds) you can start again. When you are getting close, tell him as well. In this way you can time it so you are both on the edge at the same time and when you are ready, you can cum within a similar period.

So basically you need to edge him until you get to the same level of arousal so you can cum at the same time.

Or as I said earlier, take turns on different sessions on who gets to cum on that occasion.

 

[Brodie888]

p.s if you want to rim with low risk, get a piece of plastic wrap and put it over his hole before licking.

 

[Cock-a-Hoop]

Yes they do. I personally would not advise doing this as bacteria are invisible and these bacteria eg E. Coli can make you sick. If you can taste it, you are definitely eating bacteria.

If a bottom washes with soap before sex the amount of bacteria is significantly less and is much less of a risk.

My suggestion is to start going to places that are legal yet public first such as saunas etc. Then you can move to nude beaches where sex areas are usually located in the bushes behind (common but illegal).

The places you have mentioned are very illegal and can be difficult to be discrete. If caught or recorded, you may face legal consequences.

Something I have always done with my partner is to have sex in front of the windows in hotel rooms. So at least if someone complains you have plausible deniability.

No. I personally only like to cum while being fucked. Sometimes the timing is off and I am no where near or vice versa. We just make sure the score is settled the next time.

Another example is I love spending a long time sucking my partner's cock. I give an amazing blowjob but If we are doing 69, I find I can't enjoy sucking him as much and the quality of my service also is below standard.

So sometimes we will take turns giving blowjobs too.

Whether you cum or not, it is still sex. Sex is when two people perform sexual acts on each other regardless of the outcome or configuration. Sex is not just anal penetration.

What you are describing is normal. If you are both happy with that, then there is no reason to change.

Having said that, my advice is for you both to experiment on your own first to find out what you enjoy and once you figure it out, show and tell your partner what you would like to try.

The key here is to have him signal to you when he is close by grabing your hand or saying stop. Then as the feeling subsides (usually say 10 seconds) you can start again. When you are getting close, tell him as well. In this way you can time it so you are both on the edge at the same time and when you are ready, you can cum within a similar period.

So basically you need to edge him until you get to the same level of arousal so you can cum at the same time.

Or as I said earlier, take turns on different sessions on who gets to cum on that occasion.

Simple answer is that we are all different we all have our own needs and fetishes . Basically if it floats you and your partners boat , DO IT ha ha ha

 

[playklax01]

I think the differing definitions of sex is interesting. I've always considered 'sex' to be anything sexual with someone else (intercourse, oral, handjobs). Just how I see it. Then there's others who only see anal being the true definition, and of course a mix of in between. It's up to the person and how they view it. But I don't see the high school chick who blows the whole football team after a game being any sort of virgin.

I'm cut like the OP and I take forever! when I'm with someone. I'm having a blast usually, but I'm in no rush to finish. By myself, I can finish in 2 seconds. But the other person tends to finish first and I'm struggling to 'catch up' now and causes anxiety which makes it worse... I find that if I want to finish sooner, I'll prepare by edging a few times before the event. That usually 'primes the pumps' and all I need to do is hold off instead of pushing harder to finish, and that's easy for me.

 

[HungBtmVegas]

Hi all,

I've been out and gay for most of my life but have been together with my partner since almost the beginning, as was he. We are both curious about a lot of things but have no one to ask! Here are my questions:

1. do guys sometimes suck dicks after they were in the bottoms ass? Do you get sick (sore throat? stomach flu?) from doing this? do you taste shit?

2. same questions as 1 with rimming

3. how do we get over our anxiety about taking sexual risks? we talk about having sex in the car or in a public washroom but we chicken out usually. any tips?

4. do you cum everytime you have sex? Or rather, is it still sex if you didn't cum? How do you personally define sex?

5. do you have any suggestions on sexual things we can do to introduce us to new experiences? at this point we usually just jerk each other, blow each other and frot or rub against each other.

6. One issue is that my partner can cum really quickly (uncut) but it takes me (cut) a longer time. any suggestions on how to cum faster?

I think that's all for now <3

1. I'll only suck a cock that's been in my own ass bc I know how thoroughly I prep before sex and I've never gotten sick or smelled/tasted shit

2. I've had guys kiss me after rimming me, so same answer

3. Start out semi public/private, like in the car, but in the garage or driveway if the driveway is hidden from the street and neighbor's view or in your backyard if public view is obstructed. Cruisy areas like parks after dark, secluded parking lots, specific public restrooms, etc are popular BECAUSE they're risky, but not as risky as other places, so you can always Google and see what local areas near you are popular cruise spots. After you get comfortable with the less riskier areas, you can gradually step it up

4. I don't ALWAYS cum as a bottom, but if I'm with someone who knows what they're doing, I can cum handsfree no problem. Sex for me is any activity where the physical stimulation of a penis is happening with the aim/possibility of making it cum

5. See about finding group play events or gay spas in your area. You can always just play with each other and let other guys watch

6. Start first. He can play with himself enough to stay in the mood, but you really go for it as he's pacing himself and see how long it takes you guys to sync up cumming

 

[deleted23931611]

The guy being a bottom...has to be really clean x way of douching and that goes for rimming as well

 

[canadian_guy486]

Hi all,

I've been out and gay for most of my life but have been together with my partner since almost the beginning, as was he. We are both curious about a lot of things but have no one to ask! Here are my questions:

1. do guys sometimes suck dicks after they were in the bottoms ass? Do you get sick (sore throat? stomach flu?) from doing this? do you taste shit?

2. same questions as 1 with rimming

3. how do we get over our anxiety about taking sexual risks? we talk about having sex in the car or in a public washroom but we chicken out usually. any tips?

4. do you cum everytime you have sex? Or rather, is it still sex if you didn't cum? How do you personally define sex?

5. do you have any suggestions on sexual things we can do to introduce us to new experiences? at this point we usually just jerk each other, blow each other and frot or rub against each other.

6. One issue is that my partner can cum really quickly (uncut) but it takes me (cut) a longer time. any suggestions on how to cum faster?

I think that's all for now <3

As someone who partially came out within the last 5 years or so, and has only been with 3 men and been in a long term relationship for the last few years, here are my answers.

1. I personally don’t like to suck dick after it’s been inside me. I am a pretty clean person and eat pretty clean and take care of things down there pretty well. But I still don’t like the idea of putting a dick in my mouth that has been in my ass. Mainly for the reasons you listed.

2. However, I LOVE to rim. I love the feeling of my face between a guys cheeks, I love the pleasure I give him by licking his hole, it’s a huge turn on for me. But he needs to be really clean for me to do that. If they are fairly clean you don’t taste anything. The first two guys I was with I was solely the top, so they kept pretty clean down there in anticipation of bottoming. In my currently relationship, I’m about 97% bottom. So my bf, while he enjoys being rimmed, is sometimes not always rim job ready. And again, I don’t like to rim unless my guy is pretty clean for the same reasons as #1. So sadly the rimming has become a very rare occurrence.

3. When I first started dating my bf, our sexual activities were mostly restricted to our cars. While we never full out had sex in the car, we did get pretty hot and heavy (our first time getting together we were making out in the back of my car and he stuck his hand down my pants and started playing with my hole and I came pretty much instantly). We would usually find a mostly empty unlit parking lot somewhere and do our thing. When we would see a security car or something we would just leave and find somewhere else. It all depends on what you’re comfortable with. I would suggest leaving a window open a crack as the windows will fog up and that’s usually a dead giveaway something naughty is happening in there lol.

4. When my bf and I have sex, I would say 99% of the time we both cum. But there’s been times where that doesn’t always happen. And it’s not on purpose or anything it’s just maybe I just wanted my bf to get off. I’m perfectly content with my guy cumming and feeling good, knowing I made him feel good, and not cumming myself. My bf sometimes has an issue with that as he feels if we aren’t both cumming then we are dissatisfied in some way. But I don’t feel that way. Sex is however you want to define it. To me, penetration doesn’t always need to happen for it to be sex. Sex can be a quick handjob, a blow job, having a hot make out session, grinding up on each other etc.

5. To spice things up, you can try new positions, maybe have sex in a different room in the house outside of the bedroom, role play, wear something fun (my bf has a thing for jocks so putting on a football jersey during sex one time drove him wild), maybe introduce toys? I remember for a while in the beginning, we always had sex in the same position. Mainly because I was new to bottoming and didn’t have a clue what I was doing or what I liked. It was always at the edge of the bed, or from behind. One time I decided to hop on top of him and go for a ride and my mind was blown. Now I’m always trying new positions etc to see what works and what makes it fun. Little things like that can go a long way.

6. This is one issue my bf and I also have. I too am uncut, so it does not take me long at all to cum. I am always the first one to cum usually. My bf is cut and can go much longer. So for us I will usually have him start things off first so that he cums before me. I will also do extra foreplay with him too, maybe suck his dick a bit more etc until he’s ready to go in. Another suggestion would maybe be don’t cum for a couple days. Build yourself up a bit so that you’re extra horny for a quick blow.

Overall the key is to just have fun. Sex should be fun, spontaneous, and feel good. Enjoy it

 

[HEB18]

Another example is I love spending a long time sucking my partner's cock. I give an amazing blowjob but If we are doing 69, I find I can't enjoy sucking him as much and the quality of my service also is below standard.

THIS - People think I'm crazy when I say I don't like to 69.

 

[playklax01]

THIS - People think I'm crazy when I say I don't like to 69.

Totally agree! I find it wicked uncomfortable either way, on top or bottom. I can't enjoy my pleasure when I'm trying to give him pleasure. It's just too distracting overall and I don't think anyone is having fun.

 

[mmaromo]

1. do guys sometimes suck dicks after they were in the bottoms ass? Do you get sick (sore throat? stomach flu?) from doing this? do you taste shit?

Personally I would only recommend doing this if the bottom douched before hand. You do see this in pornos a lot, but remember hours of preparation went into the porn shoot. If you're unsure you'd most likely be able to see or smell if anything unwanted is headed toward your mouth. Communication is the most important thing that way no one gets embarrassed when things don't play out exactly as planned.

2. same questions as 1 with rimming

Your tongue is only so long so as long as your partner cleans up properly after using the restroom it's highly unlikely that you would taste shit. Again you would most likely smell or see something unwanted before it's too late. If you're still worried, there's absolutely nothing wrong with excusing yourself after intimacy to wash your face and rinse out your mouth.

3. how do we get over our anxiety about taking sexual risks? we talk about having sex in the car or in a public washroom but we chicken out usually. any tips?

If it's something you're both interested in trying, it's honestly just about getting started. You can always start slow, mostly clothed, knowing that if you are on verge of getting caught you can quickly cover-up. Once you get passed that threshold it'll be easier and you'll get braver.

4. do you cum everytime you have sex? Or rather, is it still sex if you didn't cum? How do you personally define sex?

Sex is defined by whatever you and your partner agree on. Ejaculation is not necessary to define the act as sex.

5. do you have any suggestions on sexual things we can do to introduce us to new experiences? at this point we usually just jerk each other, blow each other and frot or rub against each other.

Don't be afraid to try something new. If you don't end up liking it, wait a while before trying it again. If anal sex is a goal but you're just not quite ready you can slowly introduce ass-play into your intimacy. Like just rubbing the surface of your holes or rubbing the tip of your cocks on each other's holes. You can run your shafts up down the lengths between your cheeks. If you want to slowly work your way to eating-ass but don't want to try it just quite yet, you can kiss, lick, and use your tongue in create waves on the gooch (the area underneath your balls.)

6. One issue is that my partner can cum really quickly (uncut) but it takes me (cut) a longer time. any suggestions on how to cum faster?

As difficult as it may be, just don't think about it. Relax and just try to get lost in the feeling instead of the thought. There are also lubes and lotions with sexual stimulants that may help achieving orgasm faster.

 

[john1644]

maybe a simple answer. take a shower before doing anything........ can't go wrong..