Recent weird experience with a friend / colleague

[MH12345]

So this happened last week and I cannot get it out of my head so I figured I’d write a post about it and see if I can make it make sense!

For context, the man I’m talking about here - we’ll call him Jack - started working at the place I work at a month after I did. He got hired because his dad is friends with my boss - he knows nothing about the field we work in but is clever and a really nice guy. He’s a few years older than me and absolutely gorgeous; he’s also incredibly posh. British LPSGers will know exact the type I mean - he got a job through daddy, went to a major private school, has a nickname for everyone and is really into his rugby. He’d really wind me up if he weren’t such a genuinely lovely guy, and super handsome.

We became work friends really quickly and then actual friends soon after that. We understand each other well and he guessed I wasn’t just into women seeing how I looked at guys on nights out etc so I came out to him as bi after he asked some very leading questions. He has no issues at all with that and has been a bit of a wing man a few times. I don’t fancy him per se because he’s a straight guy and a close friend, but he is objectively attractive and I think he knows I think that.

After a few office changes I ended up becoming his line manager but it doesn’t really mean anything to us - except, like a typical public school rugby lad, he’s always getting drunk and fucking up in various ways and I always cover for him. I don’t think he takes advantage of my friendship / loyalty I just think he’s a bit of a lovable idiot party animal who can’t help himself.

Anyway, after a really heavy weekend he came into work very late one Monday absolutely out of his nut on god knows what - the state he was in must have been the end result of a heavy Friday, Saturday and Sunday night…

Fortunately none of the senior team come in on Mondays so he didn’t get into trouble. He crashed on an office sofa and by the end of the working day I offered to drive him home. He was in the throes of such a bad come down he said he didn’t want to be alone so I said he could have a shower at mine, get changed and I’d cook or get us a take away. None of this felt weird and I am used to looking after him like this when he’s had a messy one.

This is where it gets strange.

He went off to have his shower and did what he needed to do but called me in the bathroom a few minutes later, asking how the shower worked - but he was absolutely bollock naked. He’d showered at mine several times before so knew how it worked. I showed him again, kinda ignoring the fact he was naked but I probably made a joke about it, and left him to it. I put it down to him being a bit whacked still and also having the attitude to that sort of thing that private school rugby types sometimes do.

He came out in my dressing gown which was fine as I think I said he could wear it and I got a takeaway and we watched some shit tv. He asked if he could stay the night to which I said fine; I have a two bed flat with a big, really comfortable sofa in the second bedroom which I usually as a home office.

I offered him my bed because he was the guest and said I was happy on the sofa, but he said he would feel terrible putting me out of my bed. I insisted he had the bed and I was very happy on the sofa (it really is very comfortable) but he said the only compromise was that we share the bed.

I’ve shared a bed with him a few times before on holiday so said fine, even though I’d really rather have had the sofa to myself.

I’m wearing a t-shirt and shorts but he’s just in his pants which I figure makes sense because that’s all he’s got to sleep in.

Predictably, he was talking a load of shit for ages while I was trying to get to sleep but he eventually said “do you fancy me?” and I said much the same as I have above: no, I don’t fancy you Jack, you’re my best friend and you’re straight. But if you’re asking me if I think you’re a handsome guy, yes you definitely are and you know that.

He then said “so if I was gay would you fuck me?” to which I awkwardly responded “well I think I’d try”. I felt very awkward at this point as we’re sharing a bed and it’s just an odd conversations.

At this point he moves to look my in the eye quite intensely, and comes in and gives me a kiss / snog for what felt like ages. I mean it felt like absolutely ages. But it was probably two seconds if that. My heart is pounding and I’m also absolutely rock hard now.

I enjoyed it but was massively confused and then that became anger. I asked him why the fuck he did that, and he said he wanted to know what it was like, and asked if I enjoyed it. I can’t remember what I said but I made it clear that was it and I was going to sleep ont the sofa.

I can’t remember what he said but he got me to stay in the bed - probably by getting me to feel sorry for him - and I did get to sleep after. I woke up a few times and he was right over on my side, and spent a lot of the night with his arm over me.

The next morning he was so grateful that I’d looked after him, kept thanking me, saying what a great supportive friend I am, and we went to work as normal. We didn’t really mention the weirdness but he did say it how grateful he was that we were so close.

In short, what the fuck am I to make of that?

Is he confirming a very very small, tiny, flickering intrusive fear I very rarely have that he is a bit manipulative and plays with people / especially the fact I’m bi?

Is he a bit bi?

Was he just coming down from the mother of all piss ups / whatever else over the weekend and horny / disinhibited / whatever?

A combination of all / some of the above?

IDK!

 

[MH12345]

I should probably add that he has been totally normal since without a hint of awkwardness, and now I’m doing that typical gay / closeted thing of wondering if I did or am now making things weird / weirder? I really don’t think I am but who the fuck knows

 

[jamesjase44]

Idk man, your friend sounds genuinely curius. And it is not weird for rugby lads to experiment. I would talk to him about it, and see what he felt. Be open to experimenting with him. But be realistic that it may just be a one off and he may not want to do it again. From your story, he sounds like the guy that can laugh it off it goes badly and never talk about it again, I say go for it

 

[Squirrel1]

Hard to say. He could be bi-curious or, as you are his “boss”, he could be using you. If you two end up going all the way, he may feel you would feel a certain obligation to protect him if he fucks up at work. His past history (coming in late or in no shape to work) sort of suggests that this might be the direction this is heading.

 

[MH12345]

Idk man, your friend sounds genuinely curius. And it is not weird for rugby lads to experiment. I would talk to him about it, and see what he felt. Be open to experimenting with him. But be realistic that it may just be a one off and he may not want to do it again. From your story, he sounds like the guy that can laugh it off it goes badly and never talk about it again, I say go for it

Interesting, thanks!

 

[MH12345]

Hard to say. He could be bi-curious or, as you are his “boss”, he could be using you. If you two end up going all the way, he may feel you would feel a certain obligation to protect him if he fucks up at work. His past history (coming in late or in no shape to work) sort of suggests that this might be the direction this is heading.

Thanks for this!

 

[dreamer20]

A month after me Jack was hired as his dad is friends with my boss. He knew nothing about the field we worked in. He's clever, posh, gorgeous & a close friend. I became his manager. He often gets drunk and fucks up in various ways. I always cover for him. I think he’s a lovable idiot...Fortunately none of the senior team come in on Mondays so he didn’t get into trouble...

As his supportive friend - instead of ignoring his work fuckups and alcoholism- I'd advise him to join Alcoholics Anonymous & end his alcohol abuse to prevent him from being fired. Even if he was the boss's son, one isn't obligated to cover up for him. He can't become a wiser & better employee unless he willingly ends his alcohol abuse, improves his professional conduct, takes responsibility for his own actions and learns from others.
P.S. I have kissed at least two of my past supervisors out of affection and appreciation for how they had aided me. Likewise view his kiss in that way and not make things weird.

 

[FrankieGuile]

So this happened last week and I cannot get it out of my head so I figured I’d write a post about it and see if I can make it make sense!

For context, the man I’m talking about here - we’ll call him Jack - started working at the place I work at a month after I did. He got hired because his dad is friends with my boss - he knows nothing about the field we work in but is clever and a really nice guy. He’s a few years older than me and absolutely gorgeous; he’s also incredibly posh. British LPSGers will know exact the type I mean - he got a job through daddy, went to a major private school, has a nickname for everyone and is really into his rugby. He’d really wind me up if he weren’t such a genuinely lovely guy, and super handsome.

We became work friends really quickly and then actual friends soon after that. We understand each other well and he guessed I wasn’t just into women seeing how I looked at guys on nights out etc so I came out to him as bi after he asked some very leading questions. He has no issues at all with that and has been a bit of a wing man a few times. I don’t fancy him per se because he’s a straight guy and a close friend, but he is objectively attractive and I think he knows I think that.

After a few office changes I ended up becoming his line manager but it doesn’t really mean anything to us - except, like a typical public school rugby lad, he’s always getting drunk and fucking up in various ways and I always cover for him. I don’t think he takes advantage of my friendship / loyalty I just think he’s a bit of a lovable idiot party animal who can’t help himself.

Anyway, after a really heavy weekend he came into work very late one Monday absolutely out of his nut on god knows what - the state he was in must have been the end result of a heavy Friday, Saturday and Sunday night…

Fortunately none of the senior team come in on Mondays so he didn’t get into trouble. He crashed on an office sofa and by the end of the working day I offered to drive him home. He was in the throes of such a bad come down he said he didn’t want to be alone so I said he could have a shower at mine, get changed and I’d cook or get us a take away. None of this felt weird and I am used to looking after him like this when he’s had a messy one.

This is where it gets strange.

He went off to have his shower and did what he needed to do but called me in the bathroom a few minutes later, asking how the shower worked - but he was absolutely bollock naked. He’d showered at mine several times before so knew how it worked. I showed him again, kinda ignoring the fact he was naked but I probably made a joke about it, and left him to it. I put it down to him being a bit whacked still and also having the attitude to that sort of thing that private school rugby types sometimes do.

He came out in my dressing gown which was fine as I think I said he could wear it and I got a takeaway and we watched some shit tv. He asked if he could stay the night to which I said fine; I have a two bed flat with a big, really comfortable sofa in the second bedroom which I usually as a home office.

I offered him my bed because he was the guest and said I was happy on the sofa, but he said he would feel terrible putting me out of my bed. I insisted he had the bed and I was very happy on the sofa (it really is very comfortable) but he said the only compromise was that we share the bed.

I’ve shared a bed with him a few times before on holiday so said fine, even though I’d really rather have had the sofa to myself.

I’m wearing a t-shirt and shorts but he’s just in his pants which I figure makes sense because that’s all he’s got to sleep in.

Predictably, he was talking a load of shit for ages while I was trying to get to sleep but he eventually said “do you fancy me?” and I said much the same as I have above: no, I don’t fancy you Jack, you’re my best friend and you’re straight. But if you’re asking me if I think you’re a handsome guy, yes you definitely are and you know that.

He then said “so if I was gay would you fuck me?” to which I awkwardly responded “well I think I’d try”. I felt very awkward at this point as we’re sharing a bed and it’s just an odd conversations.

At this point he moves to look my in the eye quite intensely, and comes in and gives me a kiss / snog for what felt like ages. I mean it felt like absolutely ages. But it was probably two seconds if that. My heart is pounding and I’m also absolutely rock hard now.

I enjoyed it but was massively confused and then that became anger. I asked him why the fuck he did that, and he said he wanted to know what it was like, and asked if I enjoyed it. I can’t remember what I said but I made it clear that was it and I was going to sleep ont the sofa.

I can’t remember what he said but he got me to stay in the bed - probably by getting me to feel sorry for him - and I did get to sleep after. I woke up a few times and he was right over on my side, and spent a lot of the night with his arm over me.

The next morning he was so grateful that I’d looked after him, kept thanking me, saying what a great supportive friend I am, and we went to work as normal. We didn’t really mention the weirdness but he did say it how grateful he was that we were so close.

In short, what the fuck am I to make of that?

Is he confirming a very very small, tiny, flickering intrusive fear I very rarely have that he is a bit manipulative and plays with people / especially the fact I’m bi?

Is he a bit bi?

Was he just coming down from the mother of all piss ups / whatever else over the weekend and horny / disinhibited / whatever?

A combination of all / some of the above?

IDK!

I don't know what is so confusing. From the fact pattern you related, it is clear he has homosexual desires. It doesn't matter how you label his sexual identity; his actions already told you and there is no need to torture yourself trying to reckon otherwise. What is less clear is why you rejected his romantic advances. That reason is none of my concern but it tends to explain well his rather cordial, drama-free exit the following morning.

 

[MH12345]

I don't know what is so confusing. From the fact pattern you related, it is clear he has homosexual desires. It doesn't matter how you label his sexual identity; his actions already told you and there is no need to torture yourself trying to reckon otherwise. What is less clear is why you rejected his romantic advances. That reason is none of my concern but it tends to explain well his rather cordial, drama-free exit the following morning.

Thanks for this.

 

[Infernal]

Don't play where you work, don't shit where you eat, however you want to say it. Dad is friends with the boss, you're his supervisor, he was drunk, and you kissed.... he felt taken advantage of and harassed by someone in a position of power over his career. Do you see where this could go? I'm not saying he's a snake or this is a setup, but if it becomes something and ends badly, his charm and good looks could turn ugly.

Maybe he is curious, confused, experimenting, or maybe it was a one-off, but I wouldn't take the chance. Now, if one of you left and worked somewhere else, and you spend the weekends fucking each other senseless, then enjoy it.

 

[MH12345]

Don't play where you work, don't shit where you eat, however you want to say it. Dad is friends with the boss, you're his supervisor, he was drunk, and you kissed.... he felt taken advantage of and harassed by someone in a position of power over his career. Do you see where this could go? I'm not saying he's a snake or this is a setup, but if it becomes something and ends badly, his charm and good looks could turn ugly.

Maybe he is curious, confused, experimenting, or maybe it was a one-off, but I wouldn't take the chance. Now, if one of you left and worked somewhere else, and you spend the weekends fucking each other senseless, then enjoy it.

Thanks - you make a good point

 

[Condiment]

It is evident that it was not a random situation. Jack was preparing the scenario to have a close encounter with you. He made the first move because he likes you and maybe he has feelings for you. Let's say gratitude or affection. The problem here is that you work at the same office and having sex wouldn't be healthy for your friendship. Maybe you should let him take his time to try it again and then talk about his real intentions.

 

[Arcanjo91]

So this happened last week and I cannot get it out of my head so I figured I’d write a post about it and see if I can make it make sense!

For context, the man I’m talking about here - we’ll call him Jack - started working at the place I work at a month after I did. He got hired because his dad is friends with my boss - he knows nothing about the field we work in but is clever and a really nice guy. He’s a few years older than me and absolutely gorgeous; he’s also incredibly posh. British LPSGers will know exact the type I mean - he got a job through daddy, went to a major private school, has a nickname for everyone and is really into his rugby. He’d really wind me up if he weren’t such a genuinely lovely guy, and super handsome.

We became work friends really quickly and then actual friends soon after that. We understand each other well and he guessed I wasn’t just into women seeing how I looked at guys on nights out etc so I came out to him as bi after he asked some very leading questions. He has no issues at all with that and has been a bit of a wing man a few times. I don’t fancy him per se because he’s a straight guy and a close friend, but he is objectively attractive and I think he knows I think that.

After a few office changes I ended up becoming his line manager but it doesn’t really mean anything to us - except, like a typical public school rugby lad, he’s always getting drunk and fucking up in various ways and I always cover for him. I don’t think he takes advantage of my friendship / loyalty I just think he’s a bit of a lovable idiot party animal who can’t help himself.

Anyway, after a really heavy weekend he came into work very late one Monday absolutely out of his nut on god knows what - the state he was in must have been the end result of a heavy Friday, Saturday and Sunday night…

Fortunately none of the senior team come in on Mondays so he didn’t get into trouble. He crashed on an office sofa and by the end of the working day I offered to drive him home. He was in the throes of such a bad come down he said he didn’t want to be alone so I said he could have a shower at mine, get changed and I’d cook or get us a take away. None of this felt weird and I am used to looking after him like this when he’s had a messy one.

This is where it gets strange.

He went off to have his shower and did what he needed to do but called me in the bathroom a few minutes later, asking how the shower worked - but he was absolutely bollock naked. He’d showered at mine several times before so knew how it worked. I showed him again, kinda ignoring the fact he was naked but I probably made a joke about it, and left him to it. I put it down to him being a bit whacked still and also having the attitude to that sort of thing that private school rugby types sometimes do.

He came out in my dressing gown which was fine as I think I said he could wear it and I got a takeaway and we watched some shit tv. He asked if he could stay the night to which I said fine; I have a two bed flat with a big, really comfortable sofa in the second bedroom which I usually as a home office.

I offered him my bed because he was the guest and said I was happy on the sofa, but he said he would feel terrible putting me out of my bed. I insisted he had the bed and I was very happy on the sofa (it really is very comfortable) but he said the only compromise was that we share the bed.

I’ve shared a bed with him a few times before on holiday so said fine, even though I’d really rather have had the sofa to myself.

I’m wearing a t-shirt and shorts but he’s just in his pants which I figure makes sense because that’s all he’s got to sleep in.

Predictably, he was talking a load of shit for ages while I was trying to get to sleep but he eventually said “do you fancy me?” and I said much the same as I have above: no, I don’t fancy you Jack, you’re my best friend and you’re straight. But if you’re asking me if I think you’re a handsome guy, yes you definitely are and you know that.

He then said “so if I was gay would you fuck me?” to which I awkwardly responded “well I think I’d try”. I felt very awkward at this point as we’re sharing a bed and it’s just an odd conversations.

At this point he moves to look my in the eye quite intensely, and comes in and gives me a kiss / snog for what felt like ages. I mean it felt like absolutely ages. But it was probably two seconds if that. My heart is pounding and I’m also absolutely rock hard now.

I enjoyed it but was massively confused and then that became anger. I asked him why the fuck he did that, and he said he wanted to know what it was like, and asked if I enjoyed it. I can’t remember what I said but I made it clear that was it and I was going to sleep ont the sofa.

I can’t remember what he said but he got me to stay in the bed - probably by getting me to feel sorry for him - and I did get to sleep after. I woke up a few times and he was right over on my side, and spent a lot of the night with his arm over me.

The next morning he was so grateful that I’d looked after him, kept thanking me, saying what a great supportive friend I am, and we went to work as normal. We didn’t really mention the weirdness but he did say it how grateful he was that we were so close.

In short, what the fuck am I to make of that?

Is he confirming a very very small, tiny, flickering intrusive fear I very rarely have that he is a bit manipulative and plays with people / especially the fact I’m bi?

Is he a bit bi?

Was he just coming down from the mother of all piss ups / whatever else over the weekend and horny / disinhibited / whatever?

A combination of all / some of the above?

IDK!

Your suspicion that he may be manipulative caught my attention because it’s the first thing you mention when you consider the possibilities.
I don’t think that popped first just by chance. It may be your “sixth sense”, intuition or whatever you want call it telling you to be careful.
The best way to rule manipulation out is to watch how he deals with other people when he needs/wants something.

I don’t think he would appeal to sex to take advantage of your position. Just being friends has been enough for you to get his ass out of trouble so far. Since you don’t have feelings for him, it should be easy to keep sex out of your friendship. You’re his boss, so don’t lose sight of the practical consequences. I’m all for the old saying “where one earns their bread one does not eat the meat”. I turned a blind eye to it twice and got f**d up twice. Lesson learned.

On the other hand, there’s the simple reason he may be just curious and you are a reliable person with whom he can explore uncharted territory; or he might have been down and everything was a way to validate his self steam.

I would address the subject straight away and ask what the kiss was about, before this suspicion becomes an elephant in the room. You can bring up the subject when you're both in a good mood. Just be objective and light when talking. The more nonchalant you are, the best will be the talk.

Good luck!

 

[Eldy]

I had a best friend like this. Growing up before I first accepted that I was gay then came out, honestly I was the one manipulating tings to get to message around with him.

We lost touch and I moved away after I came out and he joined the army. He was hot as hell to me before I came out, but just a good-looking guy once I had.. slept around.

I can only go from my own experience but we arranged a night out, he was staying at my place as I lived in the city centre.

We didn't go to gay bars, but, he pulled a girl and asked if he could take her back to my place. I had given him the spare key and said it was cool.

Well yano gay dating apps, I had seen where it was going and had been on one and arranged a hookup.

He isn't gay or bi, but he does like being appreciated and shit.

Coz he fucked the girl I did the lad separate rooms etc. When they wen he was wandering around in his underwear flexing an shit to get my attention.

Hes probably straight and working you.

I told my mate I did think he was hot years ago but just seen him as a friend now.

 

[MH12345]

Thanks all, I appreciate you all taking the time to help!

 

[8Cylinder]

While I agree with the above comments, I must suggest further that it is high time for a very normal (as was he after) and adult conversation about his feelings. Does he fancy you is the real question. Also it must be clear how you feel about the reality that you are his supervisor, and that those two worlds must never cross.

The fact that you two are friends is already the same dilemma. People make such a massive deal about the line between friendship and sex, but I assert that it's a gray area at best, where sex can simply be a further expression of what's already in play. Sex or not, the world of work and friendship/passion may not enter the workplace in the smallest measure.

A guilt-free, normal and open conversation conducted in total transparency is the solution to most of life's problems. The less one may not wish to offend or make uncomfortable, the more you probably already have by not bringing it out into the open. He may want you because you are unattainable. Keep that in mind.

Define honestly your attraction, and his, and in light of the whole picture decide together where to go with it, how, and most importantly the agreement to keep private life from mixing with business and/or public to the extent you both agree. Then stick to it.

 

[MH12345]

While I agree with the above comments, I must suggest further that it is high time for a very normal (as was he after) and adult conversation about his feelings. Does he fancy you is the real question. Also it must be clear how you feel about the reality that you are his supervisor, and that those two worlds must never cross.

The fact that you two are friends is already the same dilemma. People make such a massive deal about the line between friendship and sex, but I assert that it's a gray area at best, where sex can simply be a further expression of what's already in play. Sex or not, the world of work and friendship/passion may not enter the workplace in the smallest measure.

A guilt-free, normal and open conversation conducted in total transparency is the solution to most of life's problems. The less one may not wish to offend or make uncomfortable, the more you probably already have by not bringing it out into the open. He may want you because you are unattainable. Keep that in mind.

Define honestly your attraction, and his, and in light of the whole picture decide together where to go with it, how, and most importantly the agreement to keep private life from mixing with business and/or public to the extent you both agree. Then stick to it.

Thank you - we’re going on a hike tomorrow for the bank holiday so I’ll talk to him then

 

[jockeys124]

Let's sort this out.

When you first met him, he was "friend of the boss" son.
He's a HOT, big school rugby player.
You become friends and he convinces you he's straight. No problem.
You oogle over him a bit because he's so "handsome".
You "use" him and he "uses" you on various occassions to each your benefit.

You become his supervisor.
He barely shows up on Monday mornings, or to do so when sober.
You become agitated with his performance.
You tend to make excuses for him so the boss won't fire him, even tho, as a Manager, at the expense of other employees' feelings.
He goes right along with you making excuses for him (who wouldn't?)

He manipulates you into staying at your place. He's alledgely drunk or stoned yet he already knows his way around.
During intimate conversation, he kisses you because HE wanted to feel what it was like.
He gets up next morning, and after an apology (eye roll) acts like everything is cool.

OK, he's a spoiled rotten bratty rich kid that relied on his daddy to get him a job. He's been the big man on campus (BMOC) because you know, Rugby. He gets his way, one way or the other. He just has to manipulate his way this time. And he is doing a great job in this case.

You actually had him pegged at soon as you met him professionally.
He cares NOTHING for you or he'd be there at starting time on Monday morning, sober.
He will USE that kiss (or whatever might've happened after that) to his advantage if he ever needs it.
And he will. If something goes wrong with HIS job, he has YOU to take the heat. And by heat, that might even be you losing YOUR job, affecting YOUR professional career.
Why do I know this? Because that's what HOT, Rugby, "get a job by your father", BMOC guys do.

It doesn't matter if he's gay, straight, or multi sexual, he's an AWFUL person; one that can do you harm, both mentally and professionally.
You, on the other hand, appear to be a good, solid, member of society that honors truth and shows respect and perhaps just wants to love somebody.

I'm not being harsh, I'm being real. Don't do what so many of us have done by "trying" and "justifying" and "it's ok-ing" a relationship or friendship.
If you start doing this NOW, you will have a lifetime of hollow feelings.

My suggestion is to RUN. RUN as fast as you can from this relationship.

You deserve someone in your life that will treat YOU with the same respect you give.
You're better than this petty hustler-style riff-raff.

 

[chrisrobin]

Dont sdhit in your own nest, it never works out.
Possibly he was being inquisitive and used his condition as a way to "experiment".
All the same, you cant let friendship get in the way of running an efficient office space and its time you called him to task, kiss or not.

 

[MH12345]

Ok so I met him yesterday for the hike. I will preface this by saying that, given the advice some have given, what I did might not be hugely popular. That is not to say I didn’t read and appreciate every comment and person who has taken the time on this thread to help, because I do - but I acted with my heart and in the only way I feel I could have done.

We had a nice chilled hike for about an hour until we came across a bench and I suggested we sit down for a chat. I was pretty clear but not blunt, and said I wanted to talk about the kiss / the weird nakedness / the bed thing.

He reacted in a really uncharacteristic way - he started crying and looked really quite unwell. I did give him a hug because he was so upset and said he just needed to be totally honest with me and himself.

He said he is in fact bi at the very least, probably with a preference for men. He has, unbeknownst to me, been on apps like Grindr for years. He said that’s how he knew I wasn’t straight, because he’d been there before. He got very deep and said some really troubling things about his time at boarding school, and how that has influenced his relationships with men and his own sexuality.

He apologised for being so complicated with me, but said that he loves me and was hoping at each chance he was a bit flirty / whatever I’d take it and kiss him or give him a real reason to come out and make a move. He basically apologised for not having the courage to say that he’s bi and fancies me and acknowledged it was not fair on me. Obviously I was super supportive but massively shocked.

He said he’d realised we’re in a sort of relationship anyway - we spend loads of social time together (at least three nights a week), workout together, work together, he said he loves sharing a bed with me because it makes him feel safe and ‘complete’. He recognised I do a lot of looking after him - and I’m happy to, I’m a bit of a homemaker type I guess and do enjoy looking after people - and loves me for it. He’s seen me naked a few times (holiday, gym showers etc) and says he’s never found anyone more attractive. He’s saying all of this while crying and apologising a lot.

I gave him a big hug and said, “so what do you want to do?” and he said he wanted us to be a couple. We spoke about work and he said he would be happy to leave (it really is quite easy for these well connected posh guys to get another job)

I said but what about our friendship if this all goes wrong, and he, rightly in my view, said that after all this that friendship is dead so we either make a go of being a couple or go our separate ways. I do genuinely think he is right about that. We ended up kissing for a bit, headed back and I said I needed some time to clear my head but we should get dinner in town later.

We met for dinner, he looked and smelt incredible, he was his usual amazing captivating hilarious bubbly self, and we had a magical time. We went out for a few more drinks after, got very amorous, and went back to mine. We didn’t have sex but we did everything just short of that and went to sleep.

Coincidentally we’d both booked this week off because of the bank holiday. He has gone back to his for a change of clothes and to get some toiletries but we’re going to go for lunch later and hopefully have another great day.

As I say, I know this is not what some people advised, but I actually believe this could work.