Ok so I met him yesterday for the hike. I will preface this by saying that, given the advice some have given, what I did might not be hugely popular. That is not to say I didn’t read and appreciate every comment and person who has taken the time on this thread to help, because I do - but I acted with my heart and in the only way I feel I could have done.
We had a nice chilled hike for about an hour until we came across a bench and I suggested we sit down for a chat. I was pretty clear but not blunt, and said I wanted to talk about the kiss / the weird nakedness / the bed thing.
He reacted in a really uncharacteristic way - he started crying and looked really quite unwell. I did give him a hug because he was so upset and said he just needed to be totally honest with me and himself.
He said he is in fact bi at the very least, probably with a preference for men. He has, unbeknownst to me, been on apps like Grindr for years. He said that’s how he knew I wasn’t straight, because he’d been there before. He got very deep and said some really troubling things about his time at boarding school, and how that has influenced his relationships with men and his own sexuality.
He apologised for being so complicated with me, but said that he loves me and was hoping at each chance he was a bit flirty / whatever I’d take it and kiss him or give him a real reason to come out and make a move. He basically apologised for not having the courage to say that he’s bi and fancies me and acknowledged it was not fair on me. Obviously I was super supportive but massively shocked.
He said he’d realised we’re in a sort of relationship anyway - we spend loads of social time together (at least three nights a week), workout together, work together, he said he loves sharing a bed with me because it makes him feel safe and ‘complete’. He recognised I do a lot of looking after him - and I’m happy to, I’m a bit of a homemaker type I guess and do enjoy looking after people - and loves me for it. He’s seen me naked a few times (holiday, gym showers etc) and says he’s never found anyone more attractive. He’s saying all of this while crying and apologising a lot.
I gave him a big hug and said, “so what do you want to do?” and he said he wanted us to be a couple. We spoke about work and he said he would be happy to leave (it really is quite easy for these well connected posh guys to get another job)
I said but what about our friendship if this all goes wrong, and he, rightly in my view, said that after all this that friendship is dead so we either make a go of being a couple or go our separate ways. I do genuinely think he is right about that. We ended up kissing for a bit, headed back and I said I needed some time to clear my head but we should get dinner in town later.
We met for dinner, he looked and smelt incredible, he was his usual amazing captivating hilarious bubbly self, and we had a magical time. We went out for a few more drinks after, got very amorous, and went back to mine. We didn’t have sex but we did everything just short of that and went to sleep.
Coincidentally we’d both booked this week off because of the bank holiday. He has gone back to his for a change of clothes and to get some toiletries but we’re going to go for lunch later and hopefully have another great day.
As I say, I know this is not what some people advised, but I actually believe this could work.
