Save My Friendship

[Inshape69]

I let my fetish for SPH come between me and a good friend of mine to the point that she doesn't want to hear from me anymore. I feel horrible and never ever wanted to have it affect our friendship so I take full responsibility for my stupid actions.

I have tried apologizing to her but I am pretty sure she has blocked me. I really miss talking to her and want to make it up to but I have tried everything.

I realize that I let my fetish pervade my life to the point that it wasn't healthy.

Any ideas on how I can get her to forgive me.

Thanks

Matt

 

[deleted848353]

I doubt she will forgive you and sph isnt something a friend should be subjected to so just leave her be

 

[Inshape69]

Appreciate your input.

 

[LaFemme]

Personally, I don’t see a way of coming back from this. Just trying to put myself in her shoes - I’d be absolutely over it. The only thing that might bring me back, is if our friendship was so deep that it would be worth saving. In that case, ground rules would have to be adhered to. Zero mention of the fetish. Depends on how deeply disturbed/offended I was.

I’m trying to think of why it even came up in the first place. I have a lot of male friends, and while I have a basic knowledge of their sexual proclivities, I would have no idea if they had a fetish. It’s outside what I would discuss in a friendship. You must have really pushed your agenda on her. That was totally unfair to a friend. But like I said - depends on the depth of the friendship. Does she think it’s worth saving?

 

[Inshape69]

I agree with you 100%. I would like to think the friendship is worth saving but I cannot speak for her

 

[Scarletbegonia]

You pushed a fetish on her and want to “get her to forgive” you? (Which is manipulative as hell)

Leave her alone and get some therapy to work on yourself.

 

[Holly Doors]

Time is often the biggest healer X

 

[deleted848353]

Time is often the biggest healer X

In this case I doubt it will he pushed his fetish on someone else without their consent and now doesnt like the consequences of doing that

 

[Inshape69]

I accept the consequences. I am just saying i apologized and would like to repair the friendship eventually

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Thing is, you can’t come back from something like that.
Some boundary violations are borders. And they will get sealed.

 

[Inshape69]

Appreciate your opinion. Thankfully everyone is different.

 

[julieissosexy]

Our fetishes and desires can often lead us down a path. I hope you can make it up the path and learn how to have fun safely again.

 

[Ms.M]

I always have had to be careful of those who I indulge as far as SPH because those with that kink or fetish tend to be so bloody needy. It can be tedious even when someone opts to participate, much less has it shoved in their life unasked for. You may just not ever have that friend back, more than likely (from the women I know, kinky and otherwise).

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I accept the consequences. I am just saying i apologized and would like to repair the friendship eventually

If you truly accept the consequences, you'll learn from this experience and leave her alone.

If she contacts you in the future, cool. But my advice, because you're asking: let her move on, and do the same yourself.

Some friendships are not meant to be forever. Some are meant to teach us a lesson about ourselves, then end. I think this is one of those..

 

[Inshape69]

The thing about advice is you may never like to hear what is said. It does however give you pause to reflect and think

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

The thing about advice is you may never like to hear what is said. It does however give you pause to reflect and think

All true.

Sometimes when someone gets honest answers in this section they might start throwing insults and act a fool over it. That doesn't seem to be the case in this thread, and I can appreciate that.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Appreciate your opinion. Thankfully everyone is different.

But enough women are similar in that being treated like a fetish/sexual favor dispenser is repugnant, and a “friendship” ender.

The thing about advice is you may never like to hear what is said. It does however give you pause to reflect and think

We have yet to see that you have. you are still holding out for “what we had before I was a jerk.”

 

[Inshape69]

It is sad that you always have to be attack mode whenever I post. your single minded focus is what prevents men from opening up and sharing. I honestly was looking for advice and bot to be called a jerk. I am sorry you feel the need to attack me.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

It is sad that you always have to be attack mode whenever I post. your single minded focus is what prevents men from opening up and sharing. I honestly was looking for advice and bot to be called a jerk. I am sorry you feel the need to attack me.

I’m assuming you are whining at my response.
Men in my life do open up and share. And own their mistakes and don’t seek to manipulate after they have crossed lines.
They also rarely cross lines in a major way, and honestly apologize and change behavior when they do. Again, without trying to manipulate anyone who had decided to terminate a friendship.
But, yanno, asking women to do your emotional labor and cry when the advice isn’t what you want, seems to go swimmingly for you.

 

[deleted848353]

And his whining behaviour is probably the reason some women block or ignore him