Should I wait for “the one” or should I just have fun?

[Jdx0818]

So, I’ve been thinking about this long and hard and i don’t know what to do..

Basically, like over 3 years ago I went through a messy love triangle situation that left me really hurt (both of them were straight) and i’ve done my healing since. There’s still some moments of small bits of pain when i remember things but overall i’ve moved on and i’m just kinda living everyday about the same..
So I’ve never been the type to go out and meet guys and/or hook up but I also never really been in a proper relationship with someone.

After the situation i went through, I told myself i didn’t want to be with anyone (not unless it’s the right one) but just recently i’ve been debating whether there’s any point to waiting for that person to come.. like what if me waiting ends up with no one ever coming along then it would’ve just been for nothing..

But also, I don’t want to just give it up to anyone and then meet the person that I want to be with cause then it’ll make me feel dirty (like i’ve had this clean slate with my mind and body and practically have been reborn into this virgin waiting for the one) and have gotten that ruined as well..

*Also, if you’re an Ariana Grande fan, you’ll understand the thank u, next to positions (albums) transitions lyrically and sonically how she healed and found love after devastating heartbreak* that’s kinda what i had hoped would apply to my life..


Anyways, I really appreciate any advice some of you may have. I just have been going back and forward about this dilemma..

 

[Jdx0818]

Also, I’m not trying to insinuate that i’m rapunzel or something/actively waiting for someone to show up. I understand the law of attraction and am letting things happen as they come.

 

[Jooyo]

This is not advice, just my personal opinion: Personally, I don't think much of the concept of virginity. In my experience, it takes more than one attempt to find out what your needs are and which person is right for you. And for that you have to get involved with other people, and unfortunately you can also be disappointed. There's no way around it. It's just certainly a good idea to take things slowly.

 

[Jdx0818]

This is not advice, just my personal opinion: Personally, I don't think much of the concept of virginity. In my experience, it takes more than one attempt to find out what your needs are and which person is right for you. And for that you have to get involved with other people, and unfortunately you can also be disappointed. There's no way around it. It's just certainly a good idea to take things slowly.

What if i’ve already learned my wants and needs but the people around me don’t seem to be good enough.. so should i just lower the bar when it’s literally just basic/standard needs someone would like in a good pairing?

 

[Jooyo]

You want to make a head decision (should i just lower the bar), even though your gut feeling seems to speak against it. This may not be such a good idea. Your gut feeling reflects your emotions, and it's difficult to put them aside permanently with your head.

 

[gaytwinkles]

If you feel really in love and you know they like you back i say wait but if not you only love once.

 

[Sagittarius84]

What if i’ve already learned my wants and needs but the people around me don’t seem to be good enough.. so should i just lower the bar when it’s literally just basic/standard needs someone would like in a good pairing?

That depends, if you're truly convinced that no one out there meets your standards, you probably need to lower them. If you are aware of those that do but for whatever reason they don't see you as a good pairing, then it's time to soul search and assess whether you are(or even interested in being) that which whom you want wants...it then falls on you to better align yourself to their standards so that you don't have to sacrifice yours.
I will say, describing those around you as, "not good enough" as opposed to "incompatible" hints that your standards may be unreasonable as per what it is you have to offer.

 

[BC22x15]

Keep your standards for the "One", lower them for socializing (fucking).