Forgive my diatribe, but I had to bitch...
Steele’s wife Hilary, I take no enjoyment in making fun of, but sometimes she paints such a big target it’s impossible not to take a shot... as been illustrated by some posts in this thread, it’s a bit head-scratching to see Steele talk about how hard it is to stay on top of finances and act like it’s his sole responsibility to provide for him and Hilary—he’s a workaholic—training is already a full time job, plus keeping up with his vlogging hobby and in an Olympic year he took on a full time job on top of everything else. Meanwhile, Hilary’s photography business is just a flimsy front to travel, which I’d be surprised if it even pays for itself—it seems like a hobby more than an income stream. She came from wealth and in her late 20s still doesn’t show much of any ambition, other than some flighty hipster existence. Not to mention, she doesn’t work several months out of the year when it’s not wedding season and add on top of that the impact of Covid.
So all that being said, my jaw dropped reading some rambling Instagram post about her taking on LESS “work” so she can find herself, not bow to societal pressures and be more true to what God wants her to do (whatever the hell that means) or some shit...
Intentionally taking on less weddings this year (for multiple reasons) has been one of the hardest decisions to carry out. And while saying no to some wonderful opportunities and amazing couples is hard, it isn’t the hardest part for me.
Culture tells me that in order to take my business to the next level, I gotta grind, never stop, push myself, market the heck out of my business, expand, get on every platform, connect, connect, connect. And while those things aren’t inherently bad in any way, I feel myself living in the tension of what culture says or encourages me to do and what God wants me to do based on who he has created me to be.
I find myself so often feeling like I don’t fit the mold for this job. I wonder if I’m lazy because there are certain things I feel anxious doing to “build” this business because it doesn’t feel authentic and honest to the introverted and more reserved person I am. I wonder how I can reach people while still being more private. How much compromising do I do? Do I even compromise? What does Kingdom operation in my business look like for me in light of my design? These are questions I have been asking the Lord (and my counselor), and it has been so revealing.
I’m learning that the best thing I can do for myself and my business is dig deep into actually understanding who I am and how I operate so that I can truly embrace God’s design for my life...and how that fits perfectly into how he has created me. I see the way the world operates and how this industry operates, and I’m finally getting to a place of believing it truly is okay for it to look different for me. I am learning contentment and realizing that where my business is at right now in time fits perfectly for where God has me. It’s His kindness to draw lines and only light the small step before me. This is my story and journey, and now more than ever I am reminded to keep close to my Father in heaven for his peace, comfort, wisdom, and voice on how to engage in this business in a godly, true-to-myself, kingdom-minded way.
I don’t want to constantly have to “keep up.” I want to keep in perfect peace.