Straight guy flirting with you. Has it ever happened to you?

[Chickenlips]

I've had straight guys say I don't act gay then want convincing. At certain points in my past I've used dating apps and been approached by guys that were married but bi-curious.

On one occasion a guy that a straight friend knew bumped into us after leaving a club. He came back to my friends house and we had a few more drinks. Went to bed. I was woken up by him climbing into my bed with a raging hardon and very much wanting to do stuff

 

[Jake1973]

I've had straight guys say I don't act gay then want convincing. At certain points in my past I've used dating apps and been approached by guys that were married but bi-curious.

On one occasion a guy that a straight friend knew bumped into us after leaving a club. He came back to my friends house and we had a few more drinks. Went to bed. I was woken up by him climbing into my bed with a raging hardon and very much wanting to do stuff

"straight" as long as anybody is looking

 

[Chickenlips]

"straight" as long as anybody is looking

That always seems to be the way, doesn't it. This is a constant observation amongst my friends. Even the guy that climbed into bed tried to pretend it never happened

 

[Di_No]

Some guys seem to like the attention and knowing you think they're hot. There is a young straight guy where I work who knows a few of us think he's hot and he definitely plays up to it, makes little suggestive comments, hangs around you a little bit more, smiles and raises his eyebrows as you walk past. He is definitely straight but loves the ego boost.

At work yesterday I was bent over tying my shoelace, this guy was behind me and made a comment about me needing to be careful about leaving myself open, pretty much insinuating that someone (he) could fuck me up the ass while I was bent over like that. He laughed it off immediately with another guy and went straight into a different conversation but I just thought what a fucking tease, he knows what he's doing.

 

[openfly]

This is a really hot super fake story lol.
he never knew you were gay but let you suck him on multiple occasions? Right… well that’s definitely gay haha and no straight guys do that without thinking what they’re doing is gay. Nowt wrong with it but come on.

This doesn't sound far-fetched to me at all. It's very reminiscent of stuff that happened to me in college and after when living in apts w/friends, etc. I, too, was very infatuated with a guy and he'd 'let' me blow him, a LOT, but never knew I was gay. In fact I hadn't come out yet and have no idea anymore how or if I even tried to justify it to myself. I just blew him, rather frequently, but I also had girlfriends because that's just what you did. Details can be somewhat different but I get this guy and his story.

 

[openfly]

"Straight" to me is short for "heterosexual" which literally means "Attracted solely to the opposite sex". Whether someone is keeping their same-gender attraction from others in their life or not, or whatever they want to tell themselves it doesn't make them straight. If they were actually straight, a guy flirting with them would not interest them.

No judgment, it just reflects that society still puts a stigma on it.

I think younger people these days are, generally, more open to letting themselves experiment and go with their flow, not quite as hung up about fitting 'roles'. Knowing many, I'm not saying everyone under 30 is going hogwild and dipping their dicks all over the place, but I don't think labels mean as much to them.

 

[GayBootyLover69]

I think younger people these days are, generally, more open to letting themselves experiment and go with their flow, not quite as hung up about fitting 'roles'. Knowing many, I'm not saying everyone under 30 is going hogwild and dipping their dicks all over the place, but I don't think labels mean as much to them.

yeah that seems to be the case nowadays. it feels like being hung up over labels and socially expected roles has become archaic

im only 23 years old but i've heard from older people that in the 80s, it was generally taboo to go against gender and sexuality "roles", and "nerds vs jocks" was an actual thing lol

 

[Jake1973]

I may be old but with all the salivating over "straight" guys on here, it feels to me like trying to have your cake and eat it too, clinging to the "straight" label like it's some kind of pedigree when in fact you are a lot more than "curious" about dick, which seems like a gen-x thing. I do agree that younger people are more fluid with experimenting but in my experience they are also more willing to own up to it. YMMV.

 

[openfly]

yeah that seems to be the case nowadays. it feels like being hung up over labels and socially expected roles has become archaic

im only 23 years old but i've heard from older people that in the 80s, it was generally taboo to go against gender and sexuality "roles", and "nerds vs jocks" was an actual thing lol

Hah--yeah--that is correct. Trans stuff (except for drag) was still WAY out there, and guys were much more protective of their masc identities.

 

[openfly]

I may be old but with all the salivating over "straight" guys on here, it feels to me like trying to have your cake and eat it too, clinging to the "straight" label like it's some kind of pedigree when in fact you are a lot more than "curious" about dick. I do agree that young people are more fluid with experimenting but in my experience they are also willing to own up to it.

Yes

 

[openfly]

Yes

And not sure what you mean by 'old'--I think that idea is also becoming archaic. I'm 73 and feel and look nowhere near that. I realize that's not the case across the board and some folks feel old at 40! I realize that the references you make to being drawn and dancing took place quite a while back but that doesn't necessarily dictate 'old'. Indeed I wouldn't be a dancer at a club because I am not quite THAT loose, physically, anymore but I don't feel old because of it. I still dance on the floor and sometimes, if I'm oiled up enough, I can go nuts and not care.

 

[Jake1973]

And not sure what you mean by 'old'--I think that idea is also becoming archaic. I'm 73 and feel and look nowhere near that. I realize that's not the case across the board and some folks feel old at 40! I realize that the references you make to being drawn and dancing took place quite a while back but that doesn't necessarily dictate 'old'. Indeed I wouldn't be a dancer at a club because I am not quite THAT loose, physically, anymore but I don't feel old because of it. I still dance on the floor and sometimes, if I'm oiled up enough, I can go nuts and not care.

I love that spirit. I'm late 40s and I posed for a group last Thursday (and got paid $50), went to punk concerts on Friday and Saturday. But I haven't been to a gay bar in a long time let alone got paid to dance in one. Not that I wouldn't, but I doubt anybody would hire me LOL.

 

[openfly]

I love that spirit. I'm late 40s and I posed for a group last Thursday (and got paid $50), went to punk concerts on Friday and Saturday. But I haven't been to a gay bar in a long time let alone got paid to dance in one. Not that I wouldn't, but I doubt anybody would hire me LOL.

Yeah-LOL--I hear all of that. I haven't been to a gay bar, I think, a couple decades. I meant clubs, where all kinds of folks are dancing, or sitting around with drinks watching. So I probably raise even more eyebrows there than I would at a gay bar. I have a favorite woman about 8 yrs younger I go out to dinner then dancing with who's an even freer spirit than I am, so it's super fun. Since Hubb passed away it's what I need to get out of my head.

 

[openfly]

Yeah-LOL--I hear all of that. I haven't been to a gay bar, I think, a couple decades. I meant clubs, where all kinds of folks are dancing, or sitting around with drinks watching. So I probably raise even more eyebrows there than I would at a gay bar. I have a favorite woman about 8 yrs younger I go out to dinner then dancing with who's an even freer spirit than I am, so it's super fun. Since Hubb passed away it's what I need to get out of my head.

And they only pay you $50? You're obviously still in great shape--is the fee ever higher?

 

[Jake1973]

And they only pay you $50? You're obviously still in great shape--is the fee ever higher?

I imagine a school would pay more, yes. This is a gay men's group at a pride center, only a handful of guys drawing. I don't really do it for the money ;-)

 

[openfly]

I imagine a school would pay more, yes. This is a gay men's group at a pride center, only a handful of guys drawing. I don't really do it for the money ;-)

I get it--I would really like to be the naked center of attention in almost any given situation--the fabled cmnm, being the nm, and probably wouldn't mind, depending a little on the crowd, if it turned a little bit sexual

 

[ginzer]

it happened to me during a party w alch (not enough to get drunk). Hated it cuz i felt like an animal in a zoo, the party was full of straights. the guy was a classmate from highschool and I kinda found him cute back then cuz he was a jokester but now he's just meh.

the guy started with the arm around the shoulder then kissed my neck of all places, he then proceeded to pinch my nip like im an electric fan and im supposed to be turned on. It pissed me off, but i was trying to be nice so i waited it out THEN another guy pulled out his phone and started videoing.

I hate it here. But i waited it out until he was embarrassed of himself.
nothing else happened and i hope he had a terrible walk home!!! I also hope that video haunts him and hopefully he starts hating himself more than he does right now!!!

 

[deleted3995701]

I'm not sure for IRL. Online, a lot.

It's been a challenge going from 'allow all touch' to learning about acceptable and unacceptable touching. I try not to look at life through a gay lens anymore and I don't know what healthy flirting looks like from straight guys. Fuck, I don't know what it looks like from gay guys either.

Knowing myself, if I was fairly sure and aware than a straight man was flirting with me more than basic flirting between dudes (cause that's a normal thing too) I'd probably ask him if he knows what he's doing. I need to know for sure and asking is the only way.

I'd prefer open conversation about the topic but I think scenarios like this rarely happens in what I would consider a comfortable environment. Folks are talking about discretion or times when others weren't around.

Is he is flirting? Do I suck his dick? Am I going to get fucked? Is this happening? This is a trap! This isn't a trap? Might be a trap. This is just normal banter between dudes. Why is he touching me so much? Is that normal? He keeps looking at me and I don't like it. Or do I? WTF brain, sort this out!

The end result for me was always closing myself off, retreating from the situation and feeling shitty that I took those actions and moving on. Except when I was a slut. Cruising sites for guys, str8 or not on hook up sites made life easier for me to understand.

 

[Richard Candice]

It happens often. Sometimes it's just fun flirting. If it seems to be more and he doesn't seem to be a closet case with issues, but genuinely curious, I will discretely offer him the best blow job of his life, and go from there. I had a friend who loved getting head, but whose wife gave terrible head, and didn't like doing it, so they agreed to let him come over to my place once a week or so for good head. She was cool as long as it was only ever me, and that suited him fine. He loved her and the head was the only thing he felt was missing in their marriage. So she have him great head through me. It went on for years.
It was all very civilized and adult.

 

[Brodie888]

I think the truth is that there are a lot of bisexuals (who only have a small gay percentage) running around wearing a straight label.

Even now, for people to find out you've had gay sex with someone is like a permanent tattoo on your forehead that you must be gay.

There's a scene on a show called "The Time Traveller's Wife" where the guy goes back in time and sucks his past self's cock. Social media went nuts debating if this was gay or masturbation!

The more sexuality labels dissolve, the more of these kind of people will feel free to be themselves.