Good morning fellas. I am a bisexual man (around 60/40 to 70/30), and currently in a same-sex relationship. We fell in love, and just got our first place together. Although attracted to women, we just never got along; I never found an emotional-intellectual equal in whom I could find support. I find such connections better in men, and we ([name redacted], and I) also have a great sex life. However, I feel like I am missing out on the traditional family lifestyle of one day having a wife and kids. I never had sex with a woman, and my boyfriend is the person I lost my virginity to. This has made me all the more curious as to what sex with a woman is like, and if I have possibly missed out on a great opportunity; pleasure-wise, as well as personal fulfillment-wise. I love my boyfriend, and the last thing I wanna do is hurt him. But I honestly don't feel I wanna be gay for the rest of my life; I do wanna eventually try other things. I don't agree with non-monogamy, along with the dysfunctional chaos that accompanies it, thus is my struggle as a bisexual man. Thus, I do wanna be true and faithful; I don't intend to stray, but I feel both he and I are just having a magnificently good time until the magic wears off. I just don't know. Any and all commentary is appreciated.
Cappy_Dick
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If that's how you feel, it's probably not going to last. If you decide to move on, you might consider finding a bi gf. One that's open to making friends with another bi mf couple. It's not unfaithful if you are both in on it.
It can be hard to choose when you have desires for both. My first sexual relationship was with a guy. We were best friends at the time, so it was pretty much a relationship. When it was coming to an end, I too was confused as to which way to choose. I was always emotionally and physically attracted to girls before I knew what sex was. But on the other hand at the same time I was fascinated by cocks before I knew they were a lot more fun than to just pee with.
Nature took its course and I started meeting girls I got along with. For the next 30 years I had more pussy than most guys dream of. I basically buried the fact that I enjoyed cock. But then, after all those I found myself without for a long time. So long, that it got to be boring. I found myself thinking about how he and I got started jerking off together and it was much hotter to watch him work his cock. (It lead to more) I was pretty turned on by the idea of it.
Then I had to work through all the guilt and stigma. I did a lot of soul searching and reading. I came to the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with what I did back then, or feel I'm missing out on now. It's pretty natural. Many never try because there's still a big stigma on mm play.
It can be hard to choose when you have desires for both. My first sexual relationship was with a guy. We were best friends at the time, so it was pretty much a relationship. When it was coming to an end, I too was confused as to which way to choose. I was always emotionally and physically attracted to girls before I knew what sex was. But on the other hand at the same time I was fascinated by cocks before I knew they were a lot more fun than to just pee with.
Nature took its course and I started meeting girls I got along with. For the next 30 years I had more pussy than most guys dream of. I basically buried the fact that I enjoyed cock. But then, after all those I found myself without for a long time. So long, that it got to be boring. I found myself thinking about how he and I got started jerking off together and it was much hotter to watch him work his cock. (It lead to more) I was pretty turned on by the idea of it.
Then I had to work through all the guilt and stigma. I did a lot of soul searching and reading. I came to the conclusion that there was nothing wrong with what I did back then, or feel I'm missing out on now. It's pretty natural. Many never try because there's still a big stigma on mm play.
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And here I am thinking most bi curiosity comes after a male/female relationship.
Could you expound upon that, for me? Are you saying that you realized you also like men, after being in a relationship with a woman?
Yes want to see you expand please
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Yes. In my often compartmentalized brain, I assume it's the hetero guy turning bi. But that's just me... The hetro guy learning he likes man bits as well.
Nah, I think it's a logical conclusion, yea though it may be typical. The more I have been with men, the more I realize I actually do like women. My frustration stems from my youth where many asserted that due to certain traits I must be a homosexual; they wouldn't approve of that, but practically pronounced it as my fate, on the spot. And so I defaulted by being effectively asexual for a long time. Now in adulthood, with the opportunity to let all of that go, I have been able to learn what I like. So who knows, maybe one day I will make love to a beautiful woman, marry her, and have a couple of kids. Wouldn't that be nice? But I just don't know; our exceedingly abrasive in-your-face-about-your-sexuality culture fucked me up.Yes. In my often compartmentalized brain, I assume it's the hetero guy turning bi. But that's just me... The hetro guy learning he likes man bits as well.
It seems that your current situation is that you are a gay man who is curious about sex with a woman; not Bi as such but just curious at present.
If you view heterosexual porn online, is it just fucking and nothing more in your mind, or does it make you more curious in an "I want to do that" way?
Is sex or the idea of sex with a woman something that really makes you horny, to the point that it is all you think about at times? Or is it the idea of a "happily ever after" relationship with a woman?
If it is the former, then you have the answer- the only way you can find out is to scratch the itch and your current situation makes that a little complex...
I went through much the same thing when I realised that I thought about some men in a sexual way; I started to watch gay porn online because it was a safe way to explore my feelings. I got an idea of what turned me on and I was amazed at how my body reacted to the images of men and M2M sex. I couldn't get it out of my head, more than just the sex but the actors bodies and interactions too, and I imagined sex with men that I was attracted to in exactly the same way as I did with women; I dreamed about it, had intrusive thoughts about it, imagined sex with men.
I got curious and worked my way from viewing gay porn almost exclusively, to buying a dildo, up to a couple of encounters with men; one with a friend of a friend and the other through squirt. I didn't like aspects of the encounters and I felt incredible guilt and shame. The attraction for men didn't go away even when I was in a relationship with a woman, it was very confusing.
When we split I did not look for further relationships with women for a period, but deliberately worked through my attraction toward men online. I watched straight porn for periods of time but was drawn to gay porn for periods of time too. I concluded that I found men and women attractive for different reasons but I was sexually attracted to both.
Through my work as a tradesman I met a lot of people in their own homes and there was sometimes sexual tension; I ignored it for nearly a year before my curiosity got the better of me with a male customer and I responded to a comment he had made to me as a "straight" man. He ended up sucking my cock and fondling me in the shower that day and rimming me the next. Within that week I was sure of my sexual attraction to men and had sex daily in some form with this man for nearly 6 months. My guilt and shame about M2M sex quickly evaporated, and when he introduced me to a woman he knew from work, the confusion was gone too...
If you view heterosexual porn online, is it just fucking and nothing more in your mind, or does it make you more curious in an "I want to do that" way?
Is sex or the idea of sex with a woman something that really makes you horny, to the point that it is all you think about at times? Or is it the idea of a "happily ever after" relationship with a woman?
If it is the former, then you have the answer- the only way you can find out is to scratch the itch and your current situation makes that a little complex...
I went through much the same thing when I realised that I thought about some men in a sexual way; I started to watch gay porn online because it was a safe way to explore my feelings. I got an idea of what turned me on and I was amazed at how my body reacted to the images of men and M2M sex. I couldn't get it out of my head, more than just the sex but the actors bodies and interactions too, and I imagined sex with men that I was attracted to in exactly the same way as I did with women; I dreamed about it, had intrusive thoughts about it, imagined sex with men.
I got curious and worked my way from viewing gay porn almost exclusively, to buying a dildo, up to a couple of encounters with men; one with a friend of a friend and the other through squirt. I didn't like aspects of the encounters and I felt incredible guilt and shame. The attraction for men didn't go away even when I was in a relationship with a woman, it was very confusing.
When we split I did not look for further relationships with women for a period, but deliberately worked through my attraction toward men online. I watched straight porn for periods of time but was drawn to gay porn for periods of time too. I concluded that I found men and women attractive for different reasons but I was sexually attracted to both.
Through my work as a tradesman I met a lot of people in their own homes and there was sometimes sexual tension; I ignored it for nearly a year before my curiosity got the better of me with a male customer and I responded to a comment he had made to me as a "straight" man. He ended up sucking my cock and fondling me in the shower that day and rimming me the next. Within that week I was sure of my sexual attraction to men and had sex daily in some form with this man for nearly 6 months. My guilt and shame about M2M sex quickly evaporated, and when he introduced me to a woman he knew from work, the confusion was gone too...
Do you feel that you are bisexual then? Which sex do you feel most comfortable with, in a relationship? Is your time with men more about sex?
Probably but I don't fit the label in that I have periods in which I am attracted exclusively to men, have "gay" sex with men and don't think much about women; I also have periods where I am exclusively attracted to women and have "straight" sex with women and don't think much about men.
More of the time my sexual attraction is toward women.
It does happen but it is rare that I find both sexes attractive at the same time...
It could be said I move from straight to gay and back, or that I'm bisexual, or that is simply how it happens for me- I don't believe a label adds much for me and it's not really accurate for others to assign a label based on the very little they know..
I've found serious relationships too complex to date with what I have described and have a small network of fuckbuddies, friends with benefits, and "friends" who help each other out sexually (and socially) without ties.
I like women for different reason to men; I like their soft bodies ,feminine energy, and the way they think; in a sexual way I like their shape, their smell, their fascinating pussy lips, their breasts and bellies and the way they are sexually powerful while taking a generally submissive role in sex. Likewise, I like men for their assertiveness, motivational energy, and their strong mind/ego link; in a sexual way I like their hard bodies, their cocks, their masculine energy and direct desires. If I could find a woman who understands my periodic attraction to men and could deal with my sex drive, I'd be in a relationship with a woman...
I spend more time having sex with women than men and am equally comfortable with men and women on a sexual level.
Yes, with men it's very much a physical sex experience but there is a strong mental component.
I don’t know the answer here but one thing I would suggest is trying to separate your attraction to men or women from your desire to have a « traditional » family. Regardless of your orientation, you can have a family. And marrying a woman does not assure a conventional relationship (even if it appears that way from the outside). Also, life has a strange way of offering answers to questions when one leases expects. Good luck with finding the resolution that you’re seeking.
dickthrobbing
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You have the opposite dilemma to many guys who for their who life know they are gay but got married at an early age, had kids and feel trapped but live a false life for the good of the family, also guys who have bi urges and never feel they can act on them.
It does sound like you have found a life partner consider having heart to heart conversation with him, be open about you concerns of not having had sex with a woman.
I feel however you are more than 70% gay closer to 90%
Have you considered hiring a female sex worker to explore your straight side? You can keep it strictly professional with no strings attached and it would be less of a threat to your BF should you talk to him about your desire to try sex with a woman.
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Bi-curious is a thing before we jump to the gay group.
Hey guys, thank you very much for your replies and and messages. I'm feeling much better now; it felt good to get these thoughts off my chest, and get my head to stop spinning. I feel I have a very good idea of what I like, and for as long as I am with my boyfriend, I shall feel at peace. I'm so lucky to have him; we had the most enchanting night of romance and passion, and in the throes of said passion he said "I am so in love". I said the same. We're both (albeit in different ways) bisexual, and it's nice I get to share that with him and be open about it. I definitely don't feel that "the magic will wear off", anymore; it just keeps getting more and more brilliant.
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On the whimsical side of suggestions..why not try a female sex doll or have a trial separation? Maybe it's not your bf's gender that's causing you to wonder, maybe you're just bored? There are no hard and fast rules today that says you won't be happy if you're single when those husband/wife roles are so outdated. Like, you can have a baby, a clean house, home cooked meals without having a wife nowadays. Women don't need a husband too to be respected by society like a few decades ago.
Far from bored; we have a fantastic sex life, and are doing really well, together. Thank you for the message.
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