Telling my girl about all this?

[buthey21]

Hey all! So I’ve started a relationship recently, and we’ve been able to be very honest and open about a lot of stuff so far. However I’ve never really told someone about my online antics, IE snapping guys pics of me, being on cam, posting on forums like this, etc etc
I haven’t told her about the toys I have and previously used because we’ve been physical together, but now am almost nervous to tell her. Any advice? I wanna do this relationship well and it’s not like I’d lie if she asked but….
Help!

 

[pogwoff1066]

If you consider "this" a big part of your sexuality/sexual identity I think you should tell her. If it's something inconsequential I probably wouldn't. I personally think the toy thing is a lot less controversial than the "sexting guys online" thing.

Like, unless she's very progressive/open-minded/kinky (or some combination) most women would assume snapchatting men means you're gay – which is not true in my experience. If anything a lot of 99% straight guys have a certain dick fascination but are otherwise wholly uninterested in men. This concept is hard to grasp for a lot of people.

It's kind of like cross-dressing. A lot of women assume a man who enjoys wearing lingerie/panties/wigs is gay or at least bisexual. But if you've been in certain internet circles long enough you know the vast majority of cross-dressers are actually overwhelmingly straight guys who have certain submission/feminization fantasies.

Ultimately if you're kinky and you're looking for something long-term you should tell her. Otherwise don't. You can likely gauge her level of comfort with these topics if you know her well enough.

 

[FrankieGuile]

Hey all! So I’ve started a relationship recently, and we’ve been able to be very honest and open about a lot of stuff so far. However I’ve never really told someone about my online antics, IE snapping guys pics of me, being on cam, posting on forums like this, etc etc
I haven’t told her about the toys I have and previously used because we’ve been physical together, but now am almost nervous to tell her. Any advice? I wanna do this relationship well and it’s not like I’d lie if she asked but….
Help!

Yes. Paraphrasing William James, the art of wisdom is the art of knowing what to leave out. It's a virtuous pretense to set a goal to be honest about everything at all costs, and such people often end up alone. A better foundation for your nescient romance would be ditching your "online antics, IE snapping guys pics of <you>, being on cam, posting on forums like this, etc..." I know it's a shock to many at LPSG, but good women find reliable, responsible, mature-acting men who only need one woman for intimacy as very, very attractive.

 

[goodjock]

Yes. Paraphrasing William James, the art of wisdom is the art of knowing what to leave out. It's a virtuous pretense to set a goal to be honest about everything at all costs, and such people often end up alone. A better foundation for your nescient romance would be ditching your "online antics, IE snapping guys pics of <you>, being on cam, posting on forums like this, etc..." I know it's a shock to many at LPSG, but good women find reliable, responsible, mature-acting men who only need one woman for intimacy as very, very attractive.

“Good women find… men who only need one woman for intimacy as very, very attractive.”

Question - these “good women,” do they exist only as an archetype in your mind or are they an ideal that we are all supposed to emulate and desire?

Personally, I like my women to be freaks in the bedroom with me!

 

[Evenflow618]

Do you feel you are bisexual?

 

[goodjock]

When you say you have been open and honest with each other about a lot of stuff, what exactly does that mean?

 

[elklindoxxx]

Hey all! So I’ve started a relationship recently, and we’ve been able to be very honest and open about a lot of stuff so far. However I’ve never really told someone about my online antics, IE snapping guys pics of me, being on cam, posting on forums like this, etc etc
I haven’t told her about the toys I have and previously used because we’ve been physical together, but now am almost nervous to tell her. Any advice? I wanna do this relationship well and it’s not like I’d lie if she asked but….
Help!

How much you reveal depends upon how much you trust her.

My partner and I use sex toys. It's not unusual for couples to use sex toys. She is also well aware that I have an account on LPSG. And that I post. She just doesn't want her nude photos on the site. And we draw the line on going on cam. We previously discussed broadcasting on Chaturbate, because we could make money. But then as working professionals we would be exposed and that would hurt our careers.

If I were you, consider cutting back on the cam activities. Getting naked and whipping out your dick for strangers for kicks and giggles is not something that I would do.

 

[nixco]

Tell her nothing. She'll always wonder whether you're secretly gay. Unless you plan on actively pursuing guys while you're with her, I wouldn't say anything. If you're going to pursue sex with guys (and your '99% straight, 1 % gay' indicates not) you need to tell her, so she can choose whether she wants to be in that situation. Otherwise, say nothing.

 

[CockMySuck]

Hey all! So I’ve started a relationship recently, and we’ve been able to be very honest and open about a lot of stuff so far. However I’ve never really told someone about my online antics, IE snapping guys pics of me, being on cam, posting on forums like this, etc etc
I haven’t told her about the toys I have and previously used because we’ve been physical together, but now am almost nervous to tell her. Any advice? I wanna do this relationship well and it’s not like I’d lie if she asked but….
Help!

Tell her now, while it's early. If she doesn't like it, she's not the one for you. A relationship built on a solid foundation of a big lie will fail. It's unfair to her to hide that from her. Why hide a huge part of you at the outset when you can actually find a partner who's into everything you're doing instead?