Tommy looked much better, despite being hooked up to a dozen machines and having two staffers checking stuff constantly. He was out like a light, so we didn’t disturb him, just waited for Dr Park to come back.
“Ah, you’ve made it,” Park said, as he finally joined us. “He’s comfortably resting right now but once he wakes up we’ll let you know.”
“How is he?”
“Not too bad, but we are already seeing some evidence that it’s affecting him beyond flu symptoms. And if we are lucky, we might be able to see the delivery mechanism. Poor guy is probably the second most aggressively monitored patient in the whole place, if not the whole state!”
I wasn’t letting Dr Park’s cheerful manner derail me. “What evidence?”
“Mostly some hormonal levels that are surprising. Surging testosterone among other things. I think we will learn a lot from his urine and fecal output, too.”
“Eww,” I said.
He chuckled. “Well, it’ll be a bit before we get good info, anyway. Hungry?”
*****
I ended up in the cafe with Lynn; she seemed to be searching for someone else, but when it was obvious he or she wasn’t there, she shrugged and made her selection.
Lynn was right about the food. They weren’t fully spun up yet, so nothing fancy was on offer, but I certainly didn’t walk away hungry. Baked chicken in some kind of wine sauce, loads of veggies and some brown rice? Right up my alley.
“No restricted diets needed for you boys,” Lynn said. “Whatever is going on with you seems to need fuel, and just turns it all into muscle from what I can see.”
I followed her gaze and realized that my sleeve had just torn when I reached for the salt and pepper.
“Now, while we eat, there’s something I wanted to discuss with you. It’s a bit delicate, but I think our rapport is good enough to survive a little bit of frank discussion.”
I nodded.
“First, we will have some clothes sent up as soon as we can, but for now, there are some hospital scrubs waiting for you upstairs. And some sports underwear that might help out with the more awkward aspects of your condition.
“That’s not that delicate,” I said. “It’s a relief, really.”
“The delicate matter is that of your libido and your need to engage in self gratification.”
I almost choked out my greens.
“You could have waited for me to finish chewing and swallowing,” I groused.
“You have barely taken a breath between bites.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Anyway, there are some….items in the bottom drawer of that dresser in your room. Among them is a sample jar that I’d like to ask you to fill up when you next get the chance. With your ejaculate,” she added, blushing ever-so-slightly. “And then leave it in that little bin outside your door and ping us to collect it. If possible we will want that every morning and every evening. We will measure you and draw blood daily as well, but figured you’d like to provide semen samples under less public circumstances.”
I agreed, and then I finished off the food in front of me.
“Done? Good. One last thing for your very busy first day. While we were eating, I got an answer from Sam. He is willing to meet you tonight.”
“He’s the other patient who got here early?”
“Yes. Like you, he is an outlier. I think it would be good for you two to meet.”
“How small is he?” I asked, hoping to brace myself for potential embarrassment.
“He is down to 49 inches. But he didn’t have your luck in other areas. Aside from tightening and toning a bit, he hasn’t gained the muscle you did, nor did he gain much in the other masculine traits. That’s in an hour, just meet at the first floor lounge by the elevator. See you there!”
Christ, he must look like a tall hobbit, I thought. But at the rate I was going….
*****
I was so excited about the idea of meeting someone else who was dealing with the same condition, I nearly forgot about Tommy. I did get the app installed in my phone and tablet, and it was pretty impressive. Then it pinged “reminder: drinks at Lynn’s office”, followed by “Message from Dr Park: Fowler awake.” I glanced over at the scrubs neatly folded on the bed, and ripped my damaged tee shirt off, and shucked my shorts. The existing undies would have to do for now, but the scrubs were comfortable and very adjustable.
I have a good head for directions, usually, but an luck on the message led to a gps style map, so I allowed it to guide me. It wasn’t that far a walk, and the staff buzzed me through on sight.
Dr Park was waiting for me. “He’s asking for you,” he said.
Tommy looked much better, but he was still hooked up to a dozen machines. He was eating some kind of pasta, and he seemed happy to see me.
“Hey,” I said.
“Dude, I feel so much better….other than all this cyber crap. Now that they’ve taken half my blood, I got hungry and that made them happy.”
“Any….any changes?”
“I can’t tell. I did have an epic bowel movement, though.”
“Thanks for sharing.”
“I’m not kidding, it was scary. It felt like food poisoning!”
“Yeah, same with me that first day,” I said. “Man, I’m sorry about all this.”
“I’m not mad at you, Den. This isn’t your fault — I’m the one who jumped you, remember? Besides, we were overdue for our every-few-years sexy times.”
“You seem remarkably calm about this.”
“Probably the pain drip they put me on,” he giggled. “Wheee!”
“Well, hopefully you don’t get hit too hard with this bullshit. One shrimp in the friend group is enough.”
“I make no promises,” he said. “But I wanted to see you before I zonk out again. I was too sick before to say it, but I don’t regret what we did. No matter how it turns out for either of us. But I hope I don’t get quite so buff as you, or as hung. All that dick would distract me from my true vocation.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“I know. It’s my primary charm.”
Dr Park was waiting outside, and as I shut the door, he he indicated he wanted to talk privately.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Your friend listed you as his next of kin and emergency contact,” Dr Park said.
“Yeah, he doesn’t get along with his family at all,” I explained.
“Makes sense. So in that capacity, I need you to know something. We are seeing some concerning developments in his profile.”
“Like what?” I asked, worried.
“It may be nothing, but he’s showing some signs of cognitive decline or dementia. He’s been giggling a lot at things the staff say or ask, and he couldn’t name the current president.”
“That wasn’t the pain meds?”
“He has a saline drip and a mild sedative, but that’s it, nothing strong. Something seems off to me, but I don’t know him well enough to pick up on all the cues. Can you keep your eyes peeled for anything that seems off?”
“Wait, is dementia or decline a side effect?”
“We don’t know. Personally I hope not. No, distraction is pretty widespread amongst the affected, but I think that’s mostly due to libido. This feels a bit different.”
I agreed to let him know if anything seemed off, but I didn’t mention my concerns for my own wellbeing on that front.
“Ah, you’ve made it,” Park said, as he finally joined us. “He’s comfortably resting right now but once he wakes up we’ll let you know.”
“How is he?”
“Not too bad, but we are already seeing some evidence that it’s affecting him beyond flu symptoms. And if we are lucky, we might be able to see the delivery mechanism. Poor guy is probably the second most aggressively monitored patient in the whole place, if not the whole state!”
I wasn’t letting Dr Park’s cheerful manner derail me. “What evidence?”
“Mostly some hormonal levels that are surprising. Surging testosterone among other things. I think we will learn a lot from his urine and fecal output, too.”
“Eww,” I said.
He chuckled. “Well, it’ll be a bit before we get good info, anyway. Hungry?”
*****
I ended up in the cafe with Lynn; she seemed to be searching for someone else, but when it was obvious he or she wasn’t there, she shrugged and made her selection.
Lynn was right about the food. They weren’t fully spun up yet, so nothing fancy was on offer, but I certainly didn’t walk away hungry. Baked chicken in some kind of wine sauce, loads of veggies and some brown rice? Right up my alley.
“No restricted diets needed for you boys,” Lynn said. “Whatever is going on with you seems to need fuel, and just turns it all into muscle from what I can see.”
I followed her gaze and realized that my sleeve had just torn when I reached for the salt and pepper.
“Now, while we eat, there’s something I wanted to discuss with you. It’s a bit delicate, but I think our rapport is good enough to survive a little bit of frank discussion.”
I nodded.
“First, we will have some clothes sent up as soon as we can, but for now, there are some hospital scrubs waiting for you upstairs. And some sports underwear that might help out with the more awkward aspects of your condition.
“That’s not that delicate,” I said. “It’s a relief, really.”
“The delicate matter is that of your libido and your need to engage in self gratification.”
I almost choked out my greens.
“You could have waited for me to finish chewing and swallowing,” I groused.
“You have barely taken a breath between bites.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Anyway, there are some….items in the bottom drawer of that dresser in your room. Among them is a sample jar that I’d like to ask you to fill up when you next get the chance. With your ejaculate,” she added, blushing ever-so-slightly. “And then leave it in that little bin outside your door and ping us to collect it. If possible we will want that every morning and every evening. We will measure you and draw blood daily as well, but figured you’d like to provide semen samples under less public circumstances.”
I agreed, and then I finished off the food in front of me.
“Done? Good. One last thing for your very busy first day. While we were eating, I got an answer from Sam. He is willing to meet you tonight.”
“He’s the other patient who got here early?”
“Yes. Like you, he is an outlier. I think it would be good for you two to meet.”
“How small is he?” I asked, hoping to brace myself for potential embarrassment.
“He is down to 49 inches. But he didn’t have your luck in other areas. Aside from tightening and toning a bit, he hasn’t gained the muscle you did, nor did he gain much in the other masculine traits. That’s in an hour, just meet at the first floor lounge by the elevator. See you there!”
Christ, he must look like a tall hobbit, I thought. But at the rate I was going….
*****
I was so excited about the idea of meeting someone else who was dealing with the same condition, I nearly forgot about Tommy. I did get the app installed in my phone and tablet, and it was pretty impressive. Then it pinged “reminder: drinks at Lynn’s office”, followed by “Message from Dr Park: Fowler awake.” I glanced over at the scrubs neatly folded on the bed, and ripped my damaged tee shirt off, and shucked my shorts. The existing undies would have to do for now, but the scrubs were comfortable and very adjustable.
I have a good head for directions, usually, but an luck on the message led to a gps style map, so I allowed it to guide me. It wasn’t that far a walk, and the staff buzzed me through on sight.
Dr Park was waiting for me. “He’s asking for you,” he said.
Tommy looked much better, but he was still hooked up to a dozen machines. He was eating some kind of pasta, and he seemed happy to see me.
“Hey,” I said.
“Dude, I feel so much better….other than all this cyber crap. Now that they’ve taken half my blood, I got hungry and that made them happy.”
“Any….any changes?”
“I can’t tell. I did have an epic bowel movement, though.”
“Thanks for sharing.”
“I’m not kidding, it was scary. It felt like food poisoning!”
“Yeah, same with me that first day,” I said. “Man, I’m sorry about all this.”
“I’m not mad at you, Den. This isn’t your fault — I’m the one who jumped you, remember? Besides, we were overdue for our every-few-years sexy times.”
“You seem remarkably calm about this.”
“Probably the pain drip they put me on,” he giggled. “Wheee!”
“Well, hopefully you don’t get hit too hard with this bullshit. One shrimp in the friend group is enough.”
“I make no promises,” he said. “But I wanted to see you before I zonk out again. I was too sick before to say it, but I don’t regret what we did. No matter how it turns out for either of us. But I hope I don’t get quite so buff as you, or as hung. All that dick would distract me from my true vocation.”
“You’re incorrigible.”
“I know. It’s my primary charm.”
Dr Park was waiting outside, and as I shut the door, he he indicated he wanted to talk privately.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Your friend listed you as his next of kin and emergency contact,” Dr Park said.
“Yeah, he doesn’t get along with his family at all,” I explained.
“Makes sense. So in that capacity, I need you to know something. We are seeing some concerning developments in his profile.”
“Like what?” I asked, worried.
“It may be nothing, but he’s showing some signs of cognitive decline or dementia. He’s been giggling a lot at things the staff say or ask, and he couldn’t name the current president.”
“That wasn’t the pain meds?”
“He has a saline drip and a mild sedative, but that’s it, nothing strong. Something seems off to me, but I don’t know him well enough to pick up on all the cues. Can you keep your eyes peeled for anything that seems off?”
“Wait, is dementia or decline a side effect?”
“We don’t know. Personally I hope not. No, distraction is pretty widespread amongst the affected, but I think that’s mostly due to libido. This feels a bit different.”
I agreed to let him know if anything seemed off, but I didn’t mention my concerns for my own wellbeing on that front.
