The effects of queerbaiting.

[therebrand]

sorry for the confusion! after i re-read the thread and saw your earlier post of how you define the term "queerbaiting," i deleted the definitioni copied from the web. but to answer your question, i would simply call it being "conned" or "scammed." as @Finaldestiny986 mentioned, women can use their sex appeal to take advantage of a shy introverted guy who's lonely and looking for love. being scammed has nothing to do with a gay or straight, imo.

but i suppose if someone used an important thing or aspect of my life to get close to me, get me like or trust them and then scammed me, it would be more upsetting as opposed to a random stranger. so if your gay identity is an important aspect of your life and someone used that deceive you, then i can understand how that would be upsetting. i can see how/why you call that queerbaiting.

you say this has happened to you several times. have you asked yourself what if anything you can do to prevent this from occurring again? you say it impacts your mental health. but then, why are you still friends with people who have done this to you?

By my definition, most times, money is not always involved (only in certain cases).
I was talking more about queerbaiting, just in real life (they pretend they're LGBT, and then get mad when the LGBT person calls them out for being deceived).
Or, Option 2 (which I never considered) - The "straight" person could have a lot of internalized homophobia and could be doing this as deflection from the LGBT person they truly are.
Billie Eilish came out the closet after being accused of queerbaiting, herself.

 

[therebrand]

Its not like straight women do the exacly same thing to straight men (false accusing, playing with emotions for check etc.) and vice versa

Also how do you find out that "queerbaiting" man is actually straight is not f.e straight leaning bisexual or even worse..fully gay.

"Straight" guy trying to get money from gay guy is no different than some gay twink trying to get money from his sugar daddy or some young straight/bi woman trying to scam old rich guy.

I just made a reply to all 3 things you just said (before I even read this).

 

[Kanashi]

By my definition, most times, money is not always involved (only in certain cases).
I was talking more about queerbaiting, just in real life (they pretend they're LGBT, and then get mad when the LGBT person calls them out for being deceived).
Or, Option 2 (which I never considered) - The "straight" person could have a lot of internalized homophobia and could be doing this as deflection from the LGBT person they truly are.
Billie Eilish came out the closet after being accused of queerbaiting, herself.

oh okay i see! so in a situation like, if i met someone who pretended to be gay and then later found out they weren't (and they didn't take advantage of me or try to manipulate me) ... hmmm, i don't know if that would negatively impact my mental health. i would think that like you mentioned maybe the person isn't comfortable with who they are or maybe they have some type of mental issue of their own. at the very least, i definitely would be very weary of trusting them or believing any thing they say.

 

[therebrand]

oh okay i see! so in a situation like, if i met someone who pretended to be gay and then later found out they weren't (and they didn't take advantage of me or try to manipulate me) ... hmmm, i don't know if that would negatively impact my mental health. i would think that like you mentioned maybe the person isn't comfortable with who they are or maybe they have some type of mental issue of their own. at the very least, i definitely would be very weary of trusting them or believing any thing they say.

You're mostly right, except for 2 things:
1. It's someone you know (a friend/crush/colleague, whomever);
2. It does affect your mental health - this person manipulates everyone into thinking he's LGBT, when in reality, he's just doing it to manipulate you. That's queerbaiting. And when he breaks the news to you - no, he's not gay and doesn't have a crush on you - it breaks your heart.

 

[ILoveGames48]

Guys can queer air / flirt all want just like guys flirt with girls and vice versa .. just because you bait someone doesn’t mean they wanna fuck you.. they are just being a tease..


I never seen the big deal.. it happens and life goes on

 

[therebrand]

Guys can queer air / flirt all want just like guys flirt with girls and vice versa .. just because you bait someone doesn’t mean they wanna fuck you.. they are just being a tease..


I never seen the big deal.. it happens and life goes on

The point I was trying to make is queerbaiting, teasing, whatever you want to call it, is manipulation.
If an LGBT person queerbaited/"teased" a straight person, they'd be exposed and humiliated to as many people as possible.
This world has always been full of double standards, since the beginning of human history.

 

[ILoveGames48]

Double standards is definitely a huge thing in the world I bet.. I know around here it’s an every day thing..

Times have changed.. though— from my younger years to today.. what used to be considered flirting is changed to manipulation .. I’ve been what you call “baited” by straight guys .. it just never bothered me

 

[therebrand]

Double standards is definitely a huge thing in the world I bet.. I know around here it’s an every day thing..

Times have changed.. though— from my younger years to today.. what used to be considered flirting is changed to manipulation .. I’ve been what you call “baited” by straight guys .. it just never bothered me

I've been baited too
As an adult today (at 28 years old), it doesn't bother me.

 

[therebrand]

Unfortunately, I was queerbaited once again, by a guy who led me on.
I'm angry, feel used, and just want power over men.
I need to date a stay-at-home father, not some idiot who makes me submit (but sorry - all men do that & that's boring).
The best guys for me either look for other men to love, or they end up cheating, lying or stealing - or all 3.
I've dated homophobes, racists, transphobes, abusers, cheaters (they're the worst men in history, in my opinion), and many, many more.
But I'm just so speechless, that the only emotion I feel right now, is anger and want power over men.
I will never be exploited again.
Any stay-at-home dad (or a guy who doesn't have kids who wants to learn to be a househusband one day) can put a ring on this finger.

 

[ILoveGames48]

A lot of the queerbaiting occurs because a lot of us allow it to happen .. a cute sexy guy shows interest and it’s instinct to fall for him.. and he knows it.

But this happens with straight people as well .. a woman sees another woman with a guy she likes and she begins to flirt (bait) him to make her jealous in hoping she’d dump her for her..

Then some people just do it to cause trouble which is wrong ..


A lot of the baiting happens because we allow it to happen.. so can be pissed upset angry all want.. but in the big picture of things it’s our fault we let it happens