Things That Piss You Off As A Trans Person

[ginzer]

Honestly just curious, i feel like trans people go through so much shit and I just dont want to contribute to that.

sooo what annoys you to the very core?

 

[dontevenworryaboutit]

When cisgender people don't extend the same basic respect and decency to trans people, that they do to other cis people.

If you wouldn't walk up to a cis person and ask what surgeries they have had, or how big their penis is, or what size their boobs are, etc, then why do it to trans people? I wish more cis people would think about that.

I've been stealth for many years now and haven't had to deal with this crap, but I used to. I'd have people outing me left and right, asking me private questions in the most random situations like what my birth name is, and stuff like that.

 

[deleted6505551]

A couple things actually do annoy the hell out of me..
1.) Being asked if I am passable. I am passable to myself and that's all I care about on the subject. Sure, I'd love for Mr Right to come along one day and see me as Alyssa and have no interest in my previous life but I don't need that or any other validation.
2.) Assumptions. Guys assume many things about us particularly our politics. The vast majority of men I meet assume incorrectly that I am a sign carrying ultra leftist who has dedicated myself to a cause. I'm actually very center maybe center right and my life isn't a cause.

I understand how these things happen and generally try explaining to them. It's usually not until the second or third explanation that annoyance turns to pissed off.

 

[Athena Kolva]

Having to worry about dating and heck, even friends sometimes, due to being a transwoman.

I HAVE to be overly open about having a penis or else eventually someone will flip their shit on me

It's taken a very long time, but I finally don't mind being overly open about it. It's just annoying it has to be that way, kinda takes away from loving me for me, and not BECAUSE I'm a chick with a dick


It pisses me off that my family still refer to me as their son, brother he/him etc, when I've been a girl for 7 years and counting. I haven't made comments about it anymore since it just upsets them, and I know they don't mean any harm/intend to do it, it's just annoying it has to be that way. And sill being "deadnamed" after asking me countless times if I prefer my "new" name


Last thing to vent about, it's extremely depressing that I never grew up with friends, and I envy those who grew up with friends, especially fun girl sleepovers. I missed out on all that. I never had those experiences growing up as a girl in school, so now in my adult life, I always feel distant, I'm always caught off guard how I'm treated like just another girl (which is great) but it sucks having those memories and scars getting in the way of potential friendships.
And everyone has husbands, kids etc, they don't have time for friendship, it makes it so hard. I know friends isn't a trans specific issue, just venting my specific case

 

[MizzSummers]

I have a few things lol:

1. Men that fetishize us but only Knowledge of trans women is through porn therefore they expect that. Its disgusting.

2. The term "clitty".. Its a dick Brandon... Lol

3. The trans women who instead of Bonding chose to be catty and mean to fellow trans people.

4. Men who refuse to share a selfie.

5. When a guy asks if i a smooth "NOT ANYMORE BRANDON I AM GROWING OUT MY BUSH!"

6. People who Equate trans validity to passabaility. Ew.

 

[RainbowBeach]

Honestly just curious, i feel like trans people go through so much shit and I just dont want to contribute to that.

sooo what annoys you to the very core?

I think so much, really. Umm I'd say that in the dating scene and all of that, this idea that straight guys would be "gay" if they dated a trans woman.
Makes no sense at all... regardless of whether the relationship is intimate in any way (perhaps it's really just going out for pizza and a movie), but trans women are so often very beautiful, very feminine ladies... and they have female bodies - beautiful breasts, curves, long hair, pretty faces, delicate features, soft skin....
these are not gay men. Gay men don't want that. Gay men want guys with cocks and abs and pecs and muscles, and even if they like twinks, gay men like a boy look - they're not interested in a lady in a dress and high heels..

I'm a woman. I'm a young woman. I'm a beautiful woman. I'm a confident woman. I have needs, I need sex with a man, and I need him to be a man that wants to dominate me, be in control, have power over me (in the bedroom), and assert his masculinity over my femininity. that's what makes me aroused... i like big men with lots of muscles and deep voices and just average straight men too - manly men, because i need the opposite of me to make me feel safe and loved... and i have needs too

 

[Athena Kolva]

3. The trans women who instead of Bonding chose to be catty and mean to fellow trans people.

6. People who Equate trans validity to passabaility. Ew.

I have a specific gripe with these two, let's start with #3;

I have zero trans friends. Zero. I live in an area where we are fairly common, yet anytime I meet others here, they treat me like complete and utter garbage. It's painful.

As for #6-

I get asked this a lot when engaging in hookup sites/apps before they see me, and it's STRONG cringe. The ultimate answer is yes, but when they ask that, I don't reply, I move on, I hate the question, it's shallow, and gives me enough insight into their character to know I wouldn't give up my body for someone with childish perspectives of the world. If you're afraid of fucking "ugly people" then get off those raunchy hookup sites! Not the time or place for that

 

[Bittydrew]

I have a specific gripe with these two, let's start with #3;

I have zero trans friends. Zero. I live in an area where we are fairly common, yet anytime I meet others here, they treat me like complete and utter garbage. It's painful.

As for #6-

I get asked this a lot when engaging in hookup sites/apps before they see me, and it's STRONG cringe. The ultimate answer is yes, but when they ask that, I don't reply, I move on, I hate the question, it's shallow, and gives me enough insight into their character to know I wouldn't give up my body for someone with childish perspectives of the world. If you're afraid of fucking "ugly people" then get off those raunchy hookup sites! Not the time or place for that

Sorry for number three we should be all sisters together in my eyes thats what we are trying to do where I live at ...were all in the same boat might as well be friends

 

[tajja malik]

“You’re so pretty for a trans girl”
“Omg! I never would have guessed you’re trans!”

 

[Drahmin83]

1. Men that fetishize us but only Knowledge of trans women is through porn therefore they expect that. Its disgusting.

Serious question, where is the line on this? For example, I know people who will only date black people or only Indian people or only bears. At what point does it go from being what you're genuinely attracted to, to being a fetish?

Obviously, porn sets unrealistic expectations for everything sexual, be it straight, gay, or trans. Anyone thinking real world sex will be just like Vivid or Kink is most likely in for a world of disappointment and very naive.

 

[cuckboy]

Serious question, where is the line on this? For example, I know people who will only date black people or only Indian people or only bears. At what point does it go from being what you're genuinely attracted to, to being a fetish?

Obviously, porn sets unrealistic expectations for everything sexual, be it straight, gay, or trans. Anyone thinking real world sex will be just like Vivid or Kink is most likely in for a world of disappointment and very naive.

Good point. I wonder this myself.

 

[Bittydrew]

One line is do you still have your penis.....just wrong.................

 

[deleted6505551]

Serious question, where is the line on this? For example, I know people who will only date black people or only Indian people or only bears. At what point does it go from being what you're genuinely attracted to, to being a fetish?

To me this is very simple. The line is defined by men who want me because of what I am versus men who want me for who I am. Men who are fascinated by boobs sharing a body with a dick and never allow it to be anything more meaningful than that I qualify as fetishists. Admittedly the what we are can, and often is, the initial attraction. But it doesn't usually take very long to see what the next motivation is.

I cannot speak for others. This is just a thing I see.